TBAA shipper stories

Un-break my heart The Epilogue

2005-08-27T17:39:00.000-07:00

Epilogue

Un-break my heart, say you’ll love me again…

Hehehe, did you really think I’d leave things the way they are now? OF COURSE NOT! I have to fix them!
Well, hopefully I did…

And this is for Kim, as a very late B/D present!

Andrew let go an unconscious sigh when he saw a couple some feet away from where he was standing. The long hair and the loosen dress of the woman made him think of a certain angel… Two months… It had been two months.

He was now back to full work but he hadn’t been assigned to help Monica during all this time. Nor had he seen Tess. Just at the very beginning, about a week after he and Adam had taken Jamal Home, he had met the old supervisor and had known that Monica had asked for a time off. After that, he had known nobody being with her and it worried him terribly.

The angel shook his head coming back to reality and saw Bill, his assignment standing a few steps ahead, his back to him, still watching the recently covered grace of his girlfriend. He had taken Annie Home just two days before, after a long painful agony for she had bone cancer. The rest of the people that had kept Bill company during the service was now gone, and the angel walked to the man and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“How am I supposed to carry on without her, Andrew?” Bill said in the most miserable tone of voice. “She was my light, my reason to live!”

“I know,” was all the angel could murmur. He couldn’t tell the man how true his words were when he himself had lost the light of his life.

“I… Would you mind coming back home with me, Andrew?” Bill asked cleaning his tears. “I don’t feel like staying there all by myself.”

***

Andrew was sipping at his coffee distractedly, looking at the vast collection of CD’s Bill kept in his living room. From jazz to folk music and classic or baroque, he seemed to have each CD in sell all around the world.

“Annie was trying to put them in alphabetical order” the man said breaking the silence between them. “But she couldn’t decide whether it’d be by the singer’s name or the kind of music…”

“What will you do now, Bill?” Andrew asked.

The man sighed. “Keep on living somehow I guess… It’s just that I know I will never love someone like I loved her.”

“To love someone like you loved Annie… that’s a lifetime experience, Bill, that’s the truth…”

Guessing there was something more than the friendly advice in the angel’s words, Bill ventured after a brief moment of silence, “Have you ever been so in love, Andrew?”

Andrew met the man’s eyes and he had to control himself not to shout in pain. “Yes, Bill, I have…”

When the blond angel looked away, the man knew there was a long story behind. “What happened? Where is she now?”

“I don’t know… I haven’t seen her in two months.” Little by little the angel started to tell him all the story, how he had met Monica and how incredibly happy he had been for having her. “Ever since she’s been away my life hasn’t been whole. I miss her so much…”

Meeting the angel’s eyes again, Bill could see how true his words were and how he longed for the happiness that only Monica could give him. “And why aren’t you looking for her?” The angel frowned and said nothing. “Why are you here, grieving with me when you could be asking for her forgiveness?”

Andrew bent his head down. “You asked me to come…” he tried to argue.

“But I didn’t know you had something much better to do!” the man stood up and walked to the angel’s side. “You did a lot for Annie and me these days, Andrew,” he placed a hand on the angel’s shoulder. “If you needed a push, I’m giving it to you. Go look for Monica, be happy…”

Seeing the true concern for him in the man’s eyes, Andrew offered him a hand. “Thank you, Bill.”

***

Andrew appeared in the middle of a big living room where many old people were around. He saw two angels he knew well on the opposite side. Tess and Emma were talking to a thin woman in a wheelchair, helping her to eat.

“Oh, my…” Emma murmured as soon as she saw the angel.

“Hey, angelboy!” Tess greeted him and opened her arms to give him a hug. “Can I ask if this is a social visit or you’re here on assignment?”

Reaching to kiss Emma too, he explained, “More a social visit, Tess. No assignments here yet.”

“Is this about what I think it is? Or better said, about who I think it is?” the dark skinned supervisor said eyeing him carefully. Andrew nodded and his green eyes showed all the pain in his heart. Emma felt sorry for him.

“I haven’t seen her, baby,” Tess continued. “She asked for a time off and she hasn’t gotten any assignment since Jamal.”

Andrew broke Tess’ gaze, unable to fight the wave of pain and guilt he was feeling. “Where is she, Tess?” he asked after a long minute.

“Andrew, I don’t…”

“She’s at the house by the beach where she was staying during the assignment,” Emma interrupted the supervisor. “I saw her about a week ago and only the Father know how is she doing now…” When the blond angel turned to see her, Emma could tell he had tears prickling the corners of his eyes. “That poor baby is hurting as much as you are, Andrew. I had never seen two angels sharing a love like yours and I think I will never see it again. Fight for what you had, sweetheart! I’m afraid for Monica, Andrew,” the older angel continued, “I’m afraid that if she continues in the state she is now, she won’t be an angel anymore…”

Andrew opened his eyes in absolute fear, “What?”

“Emma’s right,” Tess intervened. “You need to see her to understand what we fear…”

For a second no one said another word until Andrew moved to hug both Tess and Emma. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Go, baby, go to her,” Tess told him before he was gone.

***

The sun was half hidden in the sea, giving the blue waters a warm touch of orange and red. The beach was completely empty except for the thin figure of a woman walking by the shore. Barefoot, arms wrapped around herself, she seemed as lost as the lonely seagull that crossed the sky, crying for the rest of its group. The small waves that reached to touch her feet didn’t give her the comfort they used to give her before, and the sensation could only be compared to that of the warm tears crossing her pale cheeks.

Andrew appeared by the limits of the garden of the house and saw her immediately. It was a sharp pain what he felt in his heart right away. Even from the distance it was obvious she had lost a lot of weight, and the helplessness it seemed to emanate from her made the angel want to run and hold her tightly and never let go again. He saw how she turned to walk back to the house and lifted her head. Then it happened.

His green eyes found hers naturally and for long minutes no one looked away. For Andrew it was now a physical pain not to take her in his arms when he could feel his skin burning for her touch and her caresses. It was just too much. He walked slowly towards her, sensing how her nervousness grew with each step he gave. He stopped when he was barely a couple of feet away.

“Andrew…” Monica murmured when they were face to face. He then could see her clearly. She was so pale and thin that her skin seemed almost transparent. Her eyes were as red as dark were the circles under them. It was painful just to see her. “Monica…” the blond angel whispered too and reached a hand to touch her cheek, but seeing how she tensed, he thought better and desisted. She seemed so fragile she’d get broken.

“Baby… what’s happened?” he continued a little later, fighting his tears that were ready to run free just like Monica’s.

“I don’t want to go back…” she explained, her arms still around her as if closing herself to anyone around. “I just don’t feel like doing casework again.”

“Why?” Andrew whispered unable to believe what he was hearing.

“The last assignment… it just hurt so much…” she was crying again but did nothing to reach for him. Andrew let her cry for a minute, before she kept on talking. “I know I hurt you too… so badly… and now that you are here… I just want to say I’m sorry…”

Andrew took a sharp breath at her last words. He felt he had been the one hurting her, doubting her love, yelling at her when she was doing nothing but protecting him! And no she was the one asking for forgiveness?

Seeing he remained silent, Monica felt her pain grow ten times deeper and her sobs became harder. “Please, forgive me!” she begged. “I know I hurt you. I know you may not want to know about me anymore and I’m not asking you to come back with me…” she said and her teary eyes met his that were equally wet as tears were now running along the blond angel’s cheeks. “All I’m asking you is that you remember that I loved you so much, more than my life itself… and that I did it all to save you, even if I had to lose the joy of my heart in the process…”

“Don’t say you loved me…” he asked. She lowered her head sure he was still so mad and hurt he would never forgive her. Andrew saw how she frowned and bit her inner cheek.

Just then he reached to tilt her chin delicately, until her brown eyes were looking at him again. “Don’t say you loved me…” he repeated and painfully slowly he placed a hand over her cheek. “Say you still love me and that you’ll love me again.”

It took Monica a long moment to accept what he was saying, what he was asking her. She didn’t want to believe what he was saying, fearing she was just dreaming and she would wake up to a reality of pain and loneliness. But his hand on her cheek felt so real, so warm. She had longed for that touch so much in the last two months that she closed her eyes and reached a hand to cover Andrew’s. “Andrew…” she murmured.

Andrew saw her leaning over his hand and knew he wouldn’t stand it longer. When she slowly opened her eyes, his heart broke in a thousand pieces at the deep pain he could guess in the face he loved so much, so he wasted no time and pulled her into a desperately tight hug.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” he said I the lowest voice. “I hurt you so much, I had no right, I was so blind!” He cried shamelessly, his face buried in her long hair, his tears wetting her shoulder and neck.

“Andrew… my Andrew, my love…” she cried too against his neck. It was like she was releasing her own soul with each sob, and her small fingers clutched his shirt until her knuckles were white. He was there, holding her close to him and it was all that mattered to her in that moment.

“I hurt you so much. I made you suffer instead of trying to know what you were doing,” he kept on murmuring still holding her.

“You couldn’t know…” she replied finally pulling away of his hold.

“I should’ve known better,” Andrew told her with a clear note of guilt in his voice. “I should’ve known you were doing it for me… Please, forgive me!” He was stroking her cheek with so much love that her legs would’ve failed her hadn’t he been still circling her waist.

“I am the one that has to ask for forgiveness, Andrew,” she said also placing a hand on his cheek. “Breaking up with you was the hardest thing I have ever done… It was like giving up my own life.”

“That’s how it felt, baby,” he kissed her forehead. “I felt my life was slipping through my fingers and I couldn’t stop it…”

“I cried so much… so many nights after you were gone…” she confessed touching his chin with her forehead and running her hands over his back as if still trying to prove he was there.

“You won’t cry again, Monica,” the blond angel told her, his eyes locked with hers, “unless they are happy tears.” She smiled tenderly and that smile was for Andrew like finally watching a small spot of a clear sky among the dark clouds of a long storm.

He couldn’t say another word, he couldn’t think of anything else. He caressed her cheek again, looking at her in pure adoration for a long minute before he slowly leaned down until his lips found hers, and they melted in a kiss they had thought they would never experience again.

The sun was setting down, covering in a purple semi-light the beach and the silhouettes of two lovers lost in the sweetest moment of their lives.

THE END

PS. So… did I redeem myself after the long months of agony? LOL! Thank you all for reading this story and for your replies, broken knees, yelling and slaps included. Love you all!

Un-break my heart the final chapter

2005-07-30T17:14:00.000-07:00

Hello, everyone!!
First of all, I really need to thank you all for all your kind replies! They are a lot, WOW!!!

Deyse, Cubbie Angel, April, Kim, Sierra, Lily, Amy, July, Brittany, Lady-Jolly, Sam, Hillary, Sunshine 231, Sassystar678, Catherine G, Lia… If I forget someone, please forgive me… I’m so, so thankful with your encouragement and your kind words!!

I really hope you have had a nice time reading this story. LOL, I know you have gotten mad at me and you have been stressed, and I still may make you get a little more mad and sad with this chapter. Please, you tell me at the end if I still need to write an epilogue or not…

I will be starting another story soon, but it will be a little different as I will start what Miss Wings has called a “tenth season” story, that is, a story where Monica will be already a supervisor. It won’t come in chapters but in episodes (a different assignment in each one), and if you are wondering… No, Gloria won’t be Monica’s charge, and yes, it will be a shipper… but Monica and Andrew won’t be in love… already!

Now, about the story… I took the title from Toni Braxton’s song, Un-break my heart. Its lyrics gave me the idea to write it. Some time later, April and Lily told me about Il Divo’s version to this song in Spanish, which is absolutely great.

Every chapter’s title doesn’t come from the song, but from different songs, and now I’ll give you the complete list. I highly recommend all of them, hehehe!

Prologue – You’re my world, by Cilla Black
Chapter 1 – God only knows, by Beach Boys
Chapter 2 –
Part one - Don’t let this feeling end, from Looking though the eyes of love by Melissa Manchester
Part two – Bring back my smile, from Un-break my heart, by Toni Braxton
Chapter 3 – If I should stay… but I’ll go…, from I will always love you, by Whitney Houston
Chapter 4 – Can’t live (if living is without you), by Air Supply
Chapter 5 – Let’s just kiss and say good bye, by The Manhattans
Chapter 6 – Al límite de la desolación (in Spanish originally), from Lo dejaría todo, by Chayanne.
Chapter 7 – All I have been living for is gone, from How am I supposed to live without you, by Michel Bolton
Chapter 8 – Si tú no estás aquí (in Spanish originally), by Rossana
Chapter 9 – Once upon a time there was light in my life, but now there’s only love in the dark, from Total eclipse of the heart byt Bonnie Tyler
Chapter 10 – Everything I do, I do it for you, by Brian Adams

Now, I stop my chatting, and let you read. God bless you always… and please tell me if I need to write an epilogue for the story!

Chapter 10

Everything I do, I do it for you…

Monica’s eyes met his the very second the blond angel appeared. And their mutual love flooded to each other’s heart immediately, making the separation now more painful than ever.

“You?!” Kathleen hissed when she saw Andrew. “You were supposed to be in hell now! Deborah, that good for nothing!”

Andrew’s breath caught in his throat at the mention of what his blond “friend” really was, and turned to face Monica, sensing she knew much more that he did, but the little angel lowered her head to avoid his gaze.

“I took Sheila Home,” Adam interrupted Andrew’s silent dilemma. “And she was a remarkable woman…”

“Remarkable?” Jamal questioned the angel. “How could she be if she left me for somebody else? Someone with more money because I was a poor nobody! That’s why I made the promise with the Devil! To get the money I needed so she would think of me as more than a poor guy!” the man explained.

“Do you remember where you come from, Jamal Burgham?” Tess asked in her bossy tone.

“I know you too…” Jamal said looking at the angel. “You were that woman of the choir at the church…”

“Yes, I was. And it’s good you remember that church. The old church, dark and poor as the neighborhood you and Sheila lived in. Not always have you lived in a fancy house with a driver and a maid, Jamal. But you’ve tried to ignore that because that was a part of a past you wanted to forget… even if your mother was also forgotten in the process…”

“Sheila wanted a different life too!” the man tried to defend himself. “She told me she wanted money and a man who could give her all I couldn’t! If you are judging me, you should’ve also judge her!”

“I’m not judging you! That’s all up to God!” the dark skinned angel said. “All I want is you to listen to what Adam has to say. It’s a story that may be useful… not only for you” she looked at Andrew briefly before she circled Monica’s waist.

“Sheila told you all that story about the money to protect you, Jamal,” the angel of death said. “Have you forgotten she was with someone else before you two fell in love?”

“That Markus… the Big Markus, we used to call him…” Jamal remembered.

“The chief of the local gang. A drug dealer. A pimp. Sheila, as most of the girls in the neighborhood, had been forced to have intimacy with him or their families would face the consequences. Not only they had been with Markus, but also with the men he ordered them to be with. But Sheila was special; he liked her above the others. When you came in her world and she fell in love with you, she decided she would be only with you. She tried to leave Markus…”

“But she did!” Jamal argued. “She only was with me!”

“… until Markus menaced her with hurting you. She had no family left after her brother was ‘killed’ in that car accident and her sister ‘committed’ suicide. Markus threatened her with killing you… if she didn’t go back to him.”

Monica’s sharp intake didn’t go unnoticed by Andrew, Sam and Tess. Sheila’s story was so close to her own experience the last days…

“I-I never knew…” Jamal stuttered. “I really thought her brother had died in an accident…”

“When she couldn’t find a way to protect you, Sheila accepted to go back with Markus and leave you, so the gang would never hurt you. She couldn’t find another way to break with you but to make you hate her, so you would never try to look for her again…”

“She lied…” Jamal pointed.

Adam nodded. “And that was bad. But she did it because she loved you so much…” the angel looked at Andrew and then at Monica, “…that she was willing to give her own life to spare yours.”

Big tears crossed Monica’s cheeks at what she heard. Sheila had done the same than her to save the life of the man she so loved. That’s why she had been sent to help Jamal, because she would do the same for Andrew with no argument.

“How did she die?” Jamal asked in a low voice, all he was hearing seemed too much to be taken all at once.

“Barely a couple of months after you left the neighborhood with your mother,” Adam continued. “She argued with Markus for she swore she would never stop loving you. He got mad, he hit her and then shot her.”

To Jamal that piece of news was as if he had gotten the shot himself. His legs grew weak and he fell to his knees again, crying. “No! Oh, God, no!”

“Hehehe… the good Markus…” Kathleen’s voice was heard then. “He did a good job in condemning himself! He loved her, you know? But he never repented, not even in jail. Instead he signed for his place in hell when he killed two more men and then committed suicide still enjoying what he had done!”

“Sheila!” Jamal sobbed. “I never knew…”

“She truly loved you, Jamal,” Monica murmured kneeling at the side of her assignment. What the angel said next were the words that came directly form her heart. “For when you really love someone, you are always willing to give up your own life if that means the one you love the most will be safe.”

Andrew could sense there was a meaning hidden in Monica’s words and his eyes shouted his need for an explanation. Adam read that as what he then said only served to confirm Andrew’s feelings. “Monica is right, Jamal. Sheila loved you and she still does. Her sacrifice shows that… as I only know one other person who did the same…” Adam met Monica’s eyes, “… to spare Andrew’s life from the menace of the demons…”

“AND WE ARE NOT GIVING UP SO EASILY!” Kathleen surprised all the angels that were still in shock to hear about Monica’s secret sacrifice. From behind Kathleen, dozens of dark figures appeared and surrounded the angels, holding them so the wouldn’t move. Kathleen then walked to Andrew and took his chin violently. “I said I wanted you and I’ll have you!”

“NO!” Monica’s desperate shout made her turn. The angel had taken by surprise the demon that was holding her and she had freed herself to jump towards her ex friend and push her away of Andrew. “Leave him alone!”

The dark figure that was holding Andrew moved then to grab the Irish angel, freeing the blond one. As if in a cue, all the angels tried to get rid of their captors. Amidst the confusion, Andrew lost Monica, who had been taken by the demon. “MONICA!” he shouted when he saw her being taken to the dark road.

“ANDREW!” she shouted back.

“This is all my fault!” Jamal exclaimed.

“Yes, it is, my friend!” Gregory informed him. “Now, you come!”

“God, please forgive me!” Jamal shouted when the demon tried to pull him. “God, please help us!”

At the mere mention of His name, a bright light surrounded them all and for a second there was nothing but silence, and then the yelling of the dark figures that ran towards the darkness where they had come from.

“COME BACK!” Kathleen and Gregory’s voices were ordering, but it was too late as their partners were now gone, Monica included. When light seemed to subside a little, the angels could easily recognize six tall figures with bright swords in their hands: the archangels.

“Special help,” Andrew murmured and Sam nodded.

“Get out of here in the name of God!” the archangel Uriel said pointing his sword to Kathleen and Gregory. “Go back to where you belong now that His name has been evoked!” The demons seemed to vanish in the thin air not before Kathleen smiled devilish and murmured a “We’ve got something we wanted…”

The archangel Micah was helping Jamal to stand up and he told him gently, “You’ve been forgiven, Jamal Burgham. God is waiting for you.” He then helped the man’s soul to arrive where Sam, Adam and Andrew were waiting for him. “Go now.”

Adam placed a hand on Jamal’s shoulder and Sam waited for Andrew to do the same, but the blond angel didn’t move. He was still looking towards thee darkness, in shock, unable to move. He was thinking about what Adam had said about Sheila, about how she had sacrifice her own life for Jamal’s and now Monica had done the same. The demons had taken her and he didn’t know what to do. That was something he couldn’t allow to happen…

“Son?” Sam asked trying to take him out of his thoughts.

“Monica…” Andrew murmured in a low voice.

Only then the rest of the angels noted that in the confusion she had disappeared. “They took her!” Rafael voiced what no one else wanted to say.

Tess met Andrew’s eyes, knowing the same terror was written in her face, but she just shook her head before Micah talked again, “Andrew, go now. Take him Home now.”

“Micah!” he pleaded.

“There she is!” Rafael and Emma said at the same time. They all turned to see the seventh and missing archangel, Gabriel, who was carrying Monica on his arms, emerging from the darkness with his bright sword on the waist.

Tess practically ran to her angelgirl. Gabriel made her seat on the ground and soon all the angels were surrounding her. How Andrew wanted to run and take her in his arms and never let her go! A little bit after, she lifted her face to look at Jamal, Sam, Andrew and Adam, who were about to leave. “Sheila loves you, Jamal,” she said in the weakest voice, crying softly. “When you love someone, you do whatever it takes to keep him safe… even if that means to give up your own life and hurt him so badly… in the name of love.” At her last words, she met Andrew’s eyes and saw the tears shinning there. It was a physical pain now to hold him, to feel his arms around her soothing her aching heart and erasing the memories of the darkness she had seen so recently. Yet, knowing he had a job to do, she lowered her face to break his gaze.

His heart broke in a thousand of pieces, a battle between sadness and regret in his mind. Andrew saw Monica avoiding his gaze and knew that he had lost her. Immediately, he felt how great was what he had lost with her.

He lowered his head too, placed a hand on Jamal’s shoulder and walked him with Adam and Sam to the meeting of His Lord, His savior and the only one that could mend the broken heart of two angels that had shared the purest love for what now looked like a very short time…

The end

Un-break my heart chapter 9 Once upon a time...

2005-07-22T13:56:00.000-07:00

Chapter 9

Once upon a time there was light in my life, but now there’s only love in the dark…

“NO!” Andrew exclaimed suddenly pulling away barely an instant before he kissed the blond demon. “I’m sorry, Deborah, but I can’t!” he said standing up and leaving the dinner in such a hurry that he didn’t see Monica still standing by the window.

The angel of Death walked as quick as he could for what he felt like a long time. He didn’t know when he had disappeared from the street and reappeared in a green meadow where the sun and a soft breeze bathed him. His legs grew weaker and he fell on his knees, big painful tears rolling over his cheeks. “Please, help me,” he begged. “I’m lost! I no longer know what I’m doing! She was my North Star, my way to come back to You! Why do I have to lose her? I know You are the One that can comfort anyone in times of pain, that’s why I’m coming to You! You know I’ll do whatever You ask me to, but I also know that Monica and I being apart is not what You want because You put us together in the first place. She says she has reasons, reasons that I don’t understand. Show me the way, Father, for I no longer can see the light…”

“You know He will, Andrew” Sam’s voice interrupted him. The dark skinned angel placed a hand on Andrew’s shoulder at the time he wiped away his tears before he stood up.

“Sam…” the blond angel acknowledged him.

“Hello, son. I was looking for you. The Father told me where to find you.”

“You were looking for me?” he repeated. “What for?”

“The Father needs you. Right now. He needs His best angels and you are between them.”

Andrew smiled nervously, his current state of mind not allowing him to believe he was required at the time. “I don’t know if I’m ready to go back to work right now, Sam. I’m not sure I could do my job as I am supposed to. You released me a couple of days ago but the things now are worse between Monica and me, and I…”

“Andrew,” Sam interrupted him. “The Father knows how things are between you and Monica. He knows both of you are hurting and He wants to help you heal. But right now He needs His angels. He’s asking you to rise and do His job for He needs His loyal servants. He needs you to stand for Him as He’s always done for you. You are His angel, Andrew, don’t forget that.”

Andrew sighed knowing he in no way could refuse to do what God was asking him to do. “I know, Sam. What is it?”

“This is a very special case, son. The Father needs the most capable angels. You won’t be alone but we need you there. We all will get special help…” the dark skinned angel said.

“You say the Father needs the best angels…” the blond angel started, and then meeting Sam’s brown eyes, he asked what was in his mind. “Will Monica…?”

“Yes, she will be there too,” Sam replied, reading in Andrew’s green eyes the pain he was feeling. “In fact she is the one that needs all our help…”

“This is about her assignment with Jamal Burgham, right?”

The supervisor nodded. “Yes. His time is over.” They then started to walk and disappeared.

***

Monica cried softly all her way to the office, half for fear and pain, half in relief when she saw Andrew leaving the diner. She wiped the last of her tears and sighed when she reached the front door of the building, and immediately something caught her attention. All the building seemed like set on fire, people running from one office to the other, carrying papers and giving orders to everyone around. The front desk was full with people asking to meet Jamal or some of the VP’s or the executives; the secretaries there were having trouble to calm the people that was surrounding the front desk demanding an explanation. Among the questions and the yelling Monica could finally get an idea of what was happening: Burgham enterprises had been declared in bankrupt just minutes ago.

Sensing the urge to arrive to her place, the little angel took the stairs to escape the multitude and then waited for the elevator on the following floor. When the doors opened, her office was a mirror of what she had left downstairs: people with stress reflected on their eyes and expressions. The otherwise calm and almost peaceful office was now a kingdom of confusion and chaos. She dropped her purse on her chair and ran to open the door of Jamal’s office.

Opposite to what was happening outside, in his office there was nobody but him, seating on his chair, his back to the desk and the door. Without turning t look at his secretary, Jamal said, “Have you heard the news, Monica? It’s all gone…”

“Jamal, what?” the little angel asked. “I only overheard what people is saying downstairs…”

“We lost the sell we were working on. All the inversion we did is worth nothing now. You don’t have a job anymore. Nobody has one anymore…” When the man finally turned to face his secretary, he was no longer the proud, impressive man Monica had known so far. He looked pale, weak… defeated in one word.

“That’s not possible…” she murmured.

“It is, Monica. I had put the enterprise with everything on it as a guarantee for the bank so I could get the money for the inversion in the sell… The sell is gone so is the money and the contracts for the providers and the sellers. I’m sorry for you, Monica, you had just started…”

The Irish angel walked to be right in front of the desk. “I’m sorry for you, Jamal… still there’s something you should know…”

“What?” the man asked, somehow surprised by her the tenderness in her voice.

“That no matter how difficult and hopeless the situation looks like, God will always help you go through it…”

“God?” Jamal asked in a tone that was a mixture between sarcasm and surprise.

“Don’t even try that, Monica!” Kathleen’s voice thundered in the office, making both the angel and the man turn to see her.

“Try what?” Jamal asking not knowing what his assistant was talking about.

“So… this is the time, Kathleen?” Monica said with a defiant note that surprised the demon and the man. “This is the time when we’ll show ourselves like what we really are?”

“Go on, angelgirl,” Kathleen replied sarcastically. “I think it won’t be a real surprise…”

“Show what you really are?” the man couldn’t understand. “You two, you better explain yourselves right now! Why do you call her angelgirl, Kathleen?”

“Because I am an angel, Jamal,” Monica said looking at him first and then at her ex co-worker at the time a soft glow involved her and her clothes changed immediately into a long white dress. “I am an angel sent by God to save you from Kathleen, Gregory and the power they serve.”

“If you are an angel, then Kathleen…”

“Yes, Jamal, I am a demon!” she said, her clothes changing into black ones. “Or… a fallen angel, better said. I was created by the same God that created her… but I decided to serve the master you chose too.”

Time seemed to be still for Jamal as he couldn’t fully understand what was going on. He had an angel and a demon with him, yet he was aware he had promised his soul to the Devil… then why had God sent him an angel and at that exact moment? “Why are you here, Monica?” the man asked incredulously. “I thought…”

“You thought that when you neglected God, He had also neglected you, that when you turned your back on him, He had turned His back on you too, but that’s not true, Jamal. He still loves you, He still believes in you…”

“But you have a promise, Jamal!” Kathleen interrupted. “The master gave you everything you asked for: money, power… Now, you have to fulfill your promise!”

“N-now?” the man stuttered. “You mean I-I’m going…” he took a deep breath, “… to die?”

He was now looking at both Monica and Kathleen. The first had tears in her eyes, the second was smiling in pride and nodding. As if asking for a confirmation, Jamal looked at Monica, who managed a quick nod as the only answer.

It happened in barely a second. A sharp pain hit him in the middle of his chest, right on his heart. A heart attack, Jamal knew immediately. His breath caught in his throat and he lost consciousness for a second, until he felt he was waking up in a place that was no longer his office but somewhere else in the middle of two roads, one in absolute darkness, the other in the brightest light.

“It’s time to go, Jamal,” Gregory announced standing by Kathleen’s side. “The master is waiting for you.”

Jamal couldn’t utter a sound. All he knew was that he was terribly scared for he had the feeling of the horrible things that awaited him in hell. Never before he had regretted his promise, specially when he had gotten what he had wanted: more money than he could spend, the power to dominate whoever he wanted to, in particular those who could compete with him in business. He had also had a lot of women he had conquered just for a few nights and then forgotten. Still all those things had left him feeling empty. No matter how much people admired him as a successful man, he knew his life hadn’t been whole and at that exact moment all he wanted was another day to live and try to find what he had rarely had: love. He looked at Kathleen and Gregory with pure terror written on his eyes. He couldn’t move, he didn’t want to!

The sudden soft touch of a hand on his made him react and turn to find Monica looking at him. “You can change your decision, Jamal!” she said in a low, tender voice. “There’s still time…”

“No, Jamal! A promise is a promise!” Kathleen interrupted.

“Ask for forgiveness! God will forgive you! He already has!” the angel said.

“Satan wants what you promised to him!” Gregory added. “He will fight to see the promise fulfilled!”

“God will fight for your soul, Jamal! Who do you think is more powerful than the all mighty God?”

“God hasn’t beaten the Devil, Monica!” Kathleen said. “You know better than that! You’ve faced Evil more times that you can count!”

“But wars are won one battle at a time, Kathleen, and I’m here to fight this battle!” the Irish angel said with a conviction in her voice that finally reached Jamal’s heart.

“Oh, God, what have I done?” Kathleen and Gregory heard Jamal murmur before they could stop him.

“NO!” the female demon shouted reaching to take Monica by a wrist, grabbing it so hard that she was hurting the angel. “You think you won but you didn’t, little angel! Gregory, take him!”

Jamal reacted trying to run but the demon was faster and caught him, circling the man’s neck with one arm and bending him arm towards his back. “You’re coming with us, wanting it or not!”

“You can’t manage the two of us alone, Mony,” Kathleen said bending the angel’s wrist so bad that she fell to her knees.

“But she is not alone, Kathleen!” Tess’ voice thundered as if announcing a storm. “And you better go away!” The dark skinned angel took the demon’s wrist and easily made her release Monica. When the little angel opened her eyes, she saw that not only Tess was there but also Rafael —who had managed to free Jamal from Gregory’s hold—, Emma, and many more angels standing at the beginning of the light-full road.

Kathleen and Gregory seemed taken off-guard all surrounded by angels, but who seemed now more impressed than ever was Jamal. He was on his knees too and was studying carefully some of the angels. “You…” he told Rafael. “You are that boy that came to ask for a job last year and…”

“… and you ordered there was no job for Latin people in your enterprise…” the young angel told him. “Yet, I gave you a message…”

“That God was watching what I was doing…” Jamal said in a regretful voice.

“The exact words I told you the last time you went to visit your mother…” Emma said now. “Five years before she died, with cancer, alone in that nursing home where you abandoned her…”

“See, Jamal?” Monica interceded, walking and kneeling in front of the man. “God hasn’t lost hope in you. He has sent you an angel once and again to make you see He will love you until the end. You have neglected that love because you have been waiting for one in particular…”

“How could I believe in God when He had taken away from me the woman I loved the most?” Jamal asked now crying openly. “She was my happiness! She left me for somebody new! Somebody with money and power! That’s why I looked for them! For money and power so I could have her back!”

“And who gave you that, Jamal? Don’t forget it!” Kathleen spoke. “He gave you what you wanted and more!”

“But he never gave you Sheila back and he will never do” Monica said in a loud voice, “for Sheila is waiting for you by God’s side and you’ll see her if you ask for His mercy!”

Of all the news, this was the one Jamal expected the less: Sheila was dead! “She can’t be dead!” the man whispered still in shock. “She can’t be! How do you know?! Did you take her Home?!” he shouted to Monica, grabbing her by the arms desperately.

“I did!” Adam’s voice said and everybody turned to see a new group of angels arriving: Sam, Adam… and Andrew.

Un-break my heart chapter 8 Si tú no estás aquí...

2005-07-09T17:54:00.000-07:00

Chapter 8

Si tú no estás aquí... (If you are not here...)

Monica’s lips opened willingly to welcome Andrew’s and the rush of emotions that followed. She had missed the passion with which he could kiss her and for the moment, she wanted nothing but to abandon herself to him. Yet, she reacted quickly and remembered what was going on with her assignment and with Andrew. She tried to break the kiss pushing him away but he was much more stronger. “Please, Andrew, no…” she said against his lips.

“You want this as much as I do, Monica,” he replied placing a hand at the back of her neck, pulling her back to his eager mouth. “I can feel you, baby, I can feel you are yearning for this…”

He was kissing her cheeks and her neck, his hands still stopping her from fighting. “No, Andrew, stop,” she was begging before he aimed again for her mouth. But this time she knew she had to stop him and she refused to open her lips as hard as he was trying to force her. “Stop it, Andrew!” When he didn’t stop and started to use his strength to force her, she felt now openly uncomfortable. “NO!” she shouted and slapped him.

The sound of her hand on his cheek sounded like the one of crystal breaking in a thousand of pieces. Monica’s breath caught in her throat when she realized what she had done and when she saw the hurting look in Andrew’s eyes who, unable to believe it, had a hand on his cheek.

“I’m sorry…” Monica managed to murmur but he said nothing.

He knew she had been right but just looked at her and walked away.

****

“What do you want to drink? A Scotch?” Kathleen asked Jamal once they were settled on the man’s studio.

“Yeah, a Scotch’s fine…” he said sitting heavily on his armchair and resting his legs on the coffee table. He opened the folder he had brought from the office and between the pages he found the light blue envelope Monica had been reading.

Just the mere lines of the penmanship brought memories to his mind. Memories of a past when he was such a different man, when he didn’t spend the night with his assistant but with the woman that meant the world for him. He opened the envelope and was taking out the paper when Kathleen came back.

“What is it?” the demon asked offering him his beverage.

“Nothing” he quickly put the letter away. “We need to get that budget ready or we’ll lost the sell. We can’t afford that, Kathleen”.

“If Monica hadn’t taken so long in finding them…” the female demon murmured opening her own copy of the budget.

“Give her a break, Kathleen,” Jamal murmured. “She has had the hell of a week…”

Kathleen looked at him not believing what he was saying. “Are you giving her a special treatment, Jamal?! I thought we had agreed no employee would get benefits if she or he didn’t do her or his work properly, which is obvious Monica hasn’t done!”

“She’s been doing what she can…” the man defended her. “Besides it’s mine to decide whether I grant benefits to one employee or not.”

“But if you do it with one, you will have to do it with all, and we agreed that if you showed yourself as a weak man, your workers would take advantage!”

“I’m not being weak, Kathleen!” Jamal argued. “Monica is not that kind of person! She wouldn’t take advantage of me…”

“How do you know?!” the demon was getting frantic. She couldn’t believe the angel had won so much of the man’s heart in so few days.

“I thought you would know, you’ve worked with her before, haven’t you?” he challenged his assistant.

“That’s why I’m telling you! If you care about what you’ve gotten so far, you better take care! The Master wouldn’t like this at all…”

Jamal shivered lightly at the mention of the being he had promised his soul after his death. He saw the day of his passing as something very distant, something not to worry about, yet he didn’t like to think about it. “Come on, Kathleen! Monica has nothing to do with this! End of the discussion! Will we start to work or should I start to mark my employee’s places with you?”

The demon took a sharp breath and opened her eyes widely at Jamal’s words but said nothing. She buried her face in her papers, mentally cursing the day the little angel had gotten in her way with Jamal.

They spent the next two hours in a tense silence, just sharing comments about what they were finding in the budget. Still Kathleen noticed how Jamal’s forehead was starting to shine with tiny drops of sweat. Catching her looking at him when he dried his forehead, Jamal commented, “It’s pretty hot, isn’t it?”

Kathleen shook her head lightly as if she had misunderstood. “Hot? Jamal we’re in February! I’m about to put my jacket on!”

He untied his tie, his breath getting somewhat uneven. “I… I’m feeling hot, but at the same time I agree, it’s chilly…”

“Maybe we should call it a night,” the demon said closing her papers and heading to the door. “You are not ok. Get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Jamal saw her leaving and put aside his folder too. When he moved to get comfortable on the armchair, he felt something cracking: the pale-blue envelope. He observed it for a long moment until he decided to take out the pages and read them.

The pale light of a lamp on a side table was the only source of light hours later, when Jamal was sitting on the lonely studio. The letter was hanging from his hand, the words fixed on his mind. “I deserve better than you… You may find someone else… Forget about me…”

“How?” he asked in a little more than a whisper, his hand clutching at the paper tightly. “How could I?” He then covered his face with one hand and lowered his face. His breath became ragged and quick, as if he couldn’t get enough air. Gulping with difficulty, he forced himself to take a deep breath, but air didn’t fill his lungs as a sharp pain hit him in the middle of his chest. He felt a sudden wave of panic thinking of what would come when he died… Drowning a scream, pain written all over his face, Jamal let his head fall backwards, concentrating only in be still so he would feel strong enough to walk to his bedroom…

Unseen to the man, by one of the opposite corners of the studio, Sam appeared and looked at him, at the drops that shinned over the dark skin of his forehead. The angel looked upwards and nodded his understanding, then turned to look at the other corner and at the two female beings that had appeared there.

“You better hurry. We’re running out of time here…” one, with red hair, said.

“I thought he was your job, not mine…” the other, a blond one, argued.

“But your chances will be smaller if you don’t take the opportunity while ‘my job’ is still alive!” the first added.

The second one sighed. “I’m having a hard time with him, you know? He’s too loyal and confident…”

“Then use your endearing traits!” the red haired one told the other. “You can’t lose him! You have to act and soon! The ending is coming and I want them both!”

“All right, Kathleen,” Deborah said. “I’ll see what I can do…”

“Kiss him…” the ex angel remembered her partner before she disappeared.

Sam then met Kathleen’s brown eyes in a silent challenge where the prize were two souls… one human and one angelic.

****

Andrew smiled faintly early the next morning when he saw his blond friend coming to his table with a coffee pot and a menu on her hands. He knew he would ask for a coffee for mere courtesy and then would just stare at the cup for hours, thinking about one little angel and wishing she would come eventually.

“G’morning!” Deborah greeted him with a wide smile. “You’re early today!”

“Yeah…” Andrew replied. “I… I have a day off and I didn’t know where to go…”

“Hey, I can ask for the day free too and we could go somewhere else!” she said excitedly. “There’s a movie I’m looking forward to watch and we could go have lunch somewhere nice! Or we could just pack for a picnic by the beach! There’s one outside the city that is very beautiful!”

“Hum… Deborah…” the blond angel tried to interrupt her. “I-I’m not sure…”

“Why not? You look like you really need to have some fun! I don’t know what happen with that girlfriend of yours but it’s obvious you need a time off!”

Andrew gulped and sighed at the mere thought of Monica, knowing that after what he had done the previous day, things were now much more complicated between them. “I don’t know, Deborah. I don’t think I’m a good company right now…”

“Oh, come on, Andrew!” the demon said taking a seat by his side and reaching to take his hand. “Please, let’s go!”·

He was feeling somehow uncomfortable with her insistence, specially because he didn’t want to hurt her. “Why are you doing this, Deborah?” he asked looking at her hand on his.

Her blue eyes met his with a sincerity that touched the angel’s heart. “Because I care about you…”

“Why?” he asked in a whisper, not sure of what to say or do.

Deborah lowered her face and stroke his hand tenderly. When she raised her head again, she saw how surprised he was. “Because I think I’m falling in love with you, Andrew…” Looking at him again, she leaned over slowly, until their lips were so close…

Andrew had been taken off guard. His heart was beating faster and he couldn’t move. He saw her coming closer, her eyes closing, her lips opening to him, inviting him. Unconsciously, he closed his eyes too, her breathing warm in its closeness… until it was another different breath, another perfume, and he could feel other lips almost brushing his. Those lips he wanted so much… Those of the Irish angel that had stopped by the window when she had recognized them and that was praying with all her being for him not to do it…

Un-break my heart chapter 7 All I have been living for is gone

2005-06-25T17:00:00.000-07:00

Chapter 7

All I have been living for is gone...

"So, you said no to what Jamal proposed you, Mony?" Kathleen asked the little angel that day in the afternoon when the demon left their ‘boss’ office.
"You wouldn’t think I’d say yes, would you?" the angel replied in a matching sarcastic tone. "I’m not interested in your deals, Kathleen, I told you so..."
"Well, well, you did do what I told you to..." the demon said taking a seat on the corner of Monica’s desk, not allowing her to continue with what she was doing.
"You know why I did it, to spare Andrew’s life, and you can be proud now. I’m hurting and so is he. You’ve done our lives miserable..." she added with such a painful tone and a cold gaze that would have hurt any other being but a demon.
Kathleen laughed quietly. "Yes, I’m proud of you too, dear," she took the angel’s hand but Monica freed herself immediately. "Whatever you told him, it certainly hurt him. I saw him today at the diner. What a pitiful expression he had! Not even sweet Deborah could cheer him up!"
Monica turned away so Kathleen couldn’t see her face, and closed her eyes to fight back the tears she so wanted to cry. "Help me, Father..." she murmured quietly.
"I’m sure you said the same thing to know what to tell him to go away, didn’t you? He heard you, Mony... Now just pray for Deborah not to do her job..."
The Irish angel turned quickly, fear reflected on her eyes and her heart beating wildly. "Deborah? Why? NO!" Kathleen nodded. "Is she one of you?!"
The female demon smiled broadly. "With such a pretty face you’d swear she’s an angel, right? She can even deceive an angel! Specially an angel in such a state of mind..."
"I told you to leave him alone! He has nothing to do with this assignment or with Jamal’s deal with the Devil!" Monica exclaimed in a panicked voice.
"See, little angel? This has nothing to do with ‘our’ business," the demon said. "But a soul like Andrew’s is highly tempting for us... and you know how we work! We take advantage of your biggest weaknesses! We almost had you once, don’t you remember? Your heart was broken then; Andrew’s broken now! This isn’t a chance we’re missing so easily..."
"Kathleen, please!" Monica asked. She would beg if necessary, but he had to be safe... "This is between you and me! Leave him!"
"This is all up to Andrew, dear," the demon stroked her hair. "If he falls into Deborah’s game... and if he kisses her..." and left Monica standing behind her desk, shaking with renewed fear.
***
As hard as she tried, Monica couldn’t take Kathleen’s new menaces out of her mind. What could she do now to warn Andrew without placing him in a higher risk? She was thinking about that when she went to Jamal’s office to search for the last year budget so she could compare it with the current one. The man had told her it was on the upper drawer behind his desk, so she was there, on her knees, with a pile of yellow folders at a side, half reading the labels on them, half thinking again and again about a certain blond angel.
"Gosh..." she couldn’t help but exclaim when she placed a new folder at the top of the pile and all fell and got scattered around. She started to collect them and place them back on the drawer, and only when she picked up the last ones she noticed a blue envelope that had fallen to the floor. The beautiful handwriting that read "To Jamal" on it called her attention, and even if she doubted first, she took out the two pages inside and started to read the same elegant penmanship.
"Jamal,
I wish there was an easy way to say this, but there isn’t. I know I’m going to hurt you, but I want you to remember this is hurting me twice more..."
"Just what do you think you’re reading, Monica?!" Jamal’s voice made the little angel jump out of her skin.
"Oh, I... I..."
In two long strides the man was by the angel’s side and grabbed the letter. "This is no one of your business, you hear me?! This is part of a past I have left behind and I don’t want any of my employees to dig on it!"
"Who was Sheila, Jamal?" Monica offered softly.
"No one you can get interested on..."
"She loved you, she said so..."
Jamal took Monica’s arm and shook her, the little angel wincing with pain. "You, women lie! You say you love us but that’s not true! Don’t you think she told me all that I’m sure you’ve told your boyfriend? ‘You’re my life, you are my everything’... and you have sent him straight to hell! For sure he is now mourning and you’re here reading someone’s else secrets!"
"I’m sorry... I didn’t mean to..." the angel said, her eyes shining with tears. He couldn’t know how certain his words were in respect to her and Andrew...
For a long second, Jamal met Monica’s eyes and the true fear he saw in them moved him at the end. He released her and murmured an "I’m sorry".
Monica closed the drawer, took the folder she had come to look and started to walk out of the office, but before she reached the door, she turned to see her ‘boss’ again. "Jamal... did you ever really try to find out the truth? About her reasons to..."
Jamal looked at his assistant, the expression on his face telling everything Monica needed to know...
***
The last thing Monica needed on a day like that was to pass by the café and see Andrew talking to Deborah again. But there he was. Or there they were. He was seating by the window and she was standing at his side, the menus totally forgotten as one of her hands was covering her mouth and the other was circling her waist for she was laughing like crazy. Andrew was smiling too. Not laughing, but smiling. Yet his eyes showed the deep bone sadness to the one who knew how to read on them, to the angel that meant the world for him...
"If he falls into Deborah’s game..." Kathleen’s words were so present in her mind that Monica didn’t think it twice before pushing the door open and take a seat right across where Andrew was seating. He noticed her presence immediately as his eyes were fixed on her, only occasionally turning to Deborah more for the mere courtesy. Another waitress came near to her to offer the menu but she asked for a coffee.
And Andrew would have noticed her presence no matter what. He so missed her! He had lost everything in hours... his job as an angel and the being he loved the most. He so wanted to run to her and hold her tight, to not let her go anymore, to kiss her and make her forget anything but his love for her. It was almost a physical ache for him not to go closer to her...
And Monica was feeling the same. She so wanted to forget about Kathleen and Gregory and Jamal! But she couldn’t. Instead she examined Deborah carefully from head to toes... yes, she was indeed beautiful, but so she was dangerous and Andrew was right where the demons wanted him to be. She had to find a way to take him away from her, but how? She looked down to the table and her gaze caught in her hand: the ring Andrew had given her for Valentine’s. It would be so painful to give it up; it meant so much for her... She took it out and walked to his table. "Excuse me," she said and Deborah shot her a nasty glance. "Andrew... can I have a word with you?"
The blond angel turned to see Deborah, who understood what he was asking. "I... hum..." she picked up her menus, "I’ll be back later."
Both angels waited until she was gone and only then did Andrew speak. "Now what do you want, Monica?" he said with a very upset tone. "You were very clear when you said you didn’t want to see me again. Did you think it twice and now you regret your words?"
The Irish angel felt how tears were stinging in her eyes for she didn’t know what was worse: being away from him or hear the bitterness in his words. "Please, Andrew, that’s not fair..."
"Fair?! You want me to be fair?!" he yelled and lowered her voice when half of the customers turned to see them. Monica was still standing by the table and he felt suddenly sorry for her. "Sit down," he ordered her. Once she was sitting, he continued, "Don’t come to me with what is fair or not, Monica, ‘cause what you did to me certainly isn’t!"
"If you only knew..." Monica murmured not able to meet his eyes.
"Then tell me!" he raised his voice again, grasping her hand until it was almost painful for her.
The Irish angel raised her face and only then could read the desperation in Andrew’s eyes. She couldn’t tell him anything, not yet... Doing the biggest effort of her life, she freed her hand and stood up. "I can’t!" she said now in a high voice too. "I just wanted to give you this back..."
Andrew saw the ring and couldn’t believe it. "It’s yours. I don’t want it back..."
"I can’t keep it. It doesn’t feel right. Here you have," she let the ring in front of his hands. "That’s all I needed to tell you." She then walked to her table, dropped some coins to pay for the coffee she ordered and left.
He couldn’t let her go so easily. He left a bill too, took the ring and went after her. "Monica, wait!" he said but the little angel practically ran away. He followed her along the street until she crossed by the corner to a park. Being taller and faster than her, he reached her and took her by the arm. "Wait! We need to talk!"
"Let me go, Andrew!" she fought.
"No! You are not going anywhere!" he shouted grabbing both her arms and shaking her. "I can’t believe what you are doing! You and I were blessed with our love! It was the most special gift we could have ever had and you are giving it away! It’s not only yours to decide you know? I have something to say here too!"
"You don’t understand, Andrew, you don’t understand!" she sobbed.
"That’s true! I don’t understand it! I can’t understand you want to give up what we’ve had together, what we’ve shared! How many angels have had this chance, tell me!! How many times had you felt this way?! Why are you doing this?!"
"I have reasons, Andrew!"
"Reasons that I can’t accept! You mean so much to me, baby!" he cupped her face forcing her to see him through teary eyes. "Monica, you can’t possibly know how much I love you, sweetie! You are my world..." he started to kiss her face and then pulled her into a tight hug. "You are the reason of my everyday... Without you... all I have been living for is gone..."
Monica felt how her resistance was receding with Andrew’s caresses. It had been less than twenty four hours but she had missed and needed him every second. Nowhere but in his arms she could feel herself strong enough to carry on with this assignment... Yet, barely a couple of seconds later, she tried to pull away. "Andrew, please, let me go..."
"No!" he shouted cupping her face and steadying her. He had to fight for her. He needed her and wasn’t willing to let her go. "No, Monica, no, don’t go..."
"Let me go, please..." she took his wrists trying to make him free her.
"I said no!" he shouted and taking her by surprise, he pulled her over for a long, deep kiss.

Un-break my heart chapter 6

2005-06-04T21:57:00.000-07:00

Chapter 6

Al límite de la desolación (To the limit of desolation)

Monica leaned against the door as she closed it, her legs suddenly growing weak. She let herself fall to the floor, where she started to cry hopelessly again, holding her knees tightly trying to ease her pain.
"I hope you know what you’re doing, Monica," Sam’s sweet voice startled her after what seemed hours to her.
"S-Sam?" she stuttered seeing the angel crouching at her side.
"Do you think that was the best way to protect him?"
"Do-do you know about...?" the little angel asked nervously.
"Enough to know your reasons... and to question them," the dark skinned angel said helping her stand and walking her to the couch.
"They were going to take him, Sam! I couldn’t let that happen! I didn’t see another way! There wasn’t another way to...!"
"Ease, Monica, ease!" the angel of angels said stroking her hair. "I’m not here to take you to God’s country if that’s what you fear, though I have to warn you you’re standing on thin ice here. True, you didn’t lie to Andrew but it will take you a lot not to do it in the future, and you do know you can even lose your angelic status for lying..."
"I know..." she murmured in a very low voice, her tears still sliding down. "But if I did it to protect him, I’d do it, Sam... That much I love him."
"I won’t ask you why you did this. Angels have free will too and you’ve just used yours. Yes, you hurt Andrew, you’re hurting too and so is the Father for seeing you two apart, but He gave you free will as I say, so... I just hope you have enough strength to keep on working in your assignment ‘cause I wouldn’t know who to send if you couldn’t finish this." He met her teary brown eyes and knew she was perfectly aware of her responsibility. It really made his heart ache: see her suffering so much and still wanting to do God’s work. "Take care, Monica," Sam said kissing her temple in a fatherly manner, "and be strong."
***
Andrew walked to a bench in a park and took a seat heavily. Looking upwards after some minutes he spoke, "Please, help me. I can’t understand what’s going on. I love her, You know that, but she... I cannot think about anything else! I don’t know what to do anymore! Please, Father!"
"I’m glad your asking for guidance, Andrew..." Sam said appearing right beside the angel. "The Father does think you need help... and I’m getting used to come to meet you on this bench."
"Do you know what happened, Sam?" Seeing the dark skinned angel nodding, Andrew kept on, "And can you tell me why? She has to have a reason! We were just fine yesterday!"
"She has a reason, yes, but it doesn’t mean what she’s done is ok..."
"Sam, you need to talk to her! Tell her that this cannot happen!"
"No, Andrew, I can’t. This is not an assignment. These are your lives and the Father cannot order her what to do. When He gave you two the freedom to love each other the way you do, He knew you could be hurt and you knew that too. Angels have free will and free will has some risks..."
"I know... It’s just that it hurts..." the blond angel said in a very low voice, his eyes bright with tears. "It hurts so much..."
"I know it hurts, Andrew, that’s why I’m here. I’m sorry about this, but I have to inform you that you’ll be taking a break from your duties..."
"What?!" Andrew replied not able to believe it.
"The Father feels you’re too tied to you pain to work properly, so you won’t get assigned for a while..."
"Sam, no!"
The older angel stood up. "It’s not permanent, calm down! You’ll be called again at the exact moment, but in the meantime you have to think about your situation and your attitude with Monica. You’re seeing things from your point of view and you have to see hers too."
"How if I can’t understand her, Sam? I’ve asked her about this but she doesn’t tell me!"
"Sometimes, Andrew, a single gesture talks more than a thousand words... Don’t let pain blind you..."
The younger angel saw him disappear and he remained by the bench, not knowing what to think anymore. He had lost Monica and he had been put to a rest in his work, and all that was supposed to have a reason he had to understand?
***
If Andrew wasn’t doing fine, needless to say Monica wasn’t doing any better. She hadn’t been able to sleep at all during the night, and she had had to get dressed and ready for work as it was Friday and she had to go to the office. Besides, she had a divine task to perform, and as bad as she was feeling, she had to do God’s job.
She arrived by 10.30, when Jamal was already in his office. She knocked at the door softly, already thinking in an excuse for her late arrival. "Jamal, can I come in?" she asked and sighed in relief when she saw neither Kathleen nor Gregory were around.
"I thought you were not coming, Monica," the man said eyeing carefully.
"I’m sorry I’m late..."
"For the face you have, I think you didn’t want to come today..." he ventured in a nice tone and pointing at one of the chairs in front of his desk.
Silently, Monica walked to the chair and took a seat, unwilling to talk about her current state of mind, least of all with her assignment. "I..."
"Is it your boyfriend again?"
Monica lifted her face immediately, for a brief second wondering who was the assignment, Jamal or herself. Yet the mere mention of Andrew was enough to make her heart ache again. "Yes," she whispered lowering her face again.
Jamal contemplated her for a moment in absolute silence. "Love hurts, Monica, that’s the only true." When the little angel said nothing, he added. "That’s why I said love is not worth suffering for. I guess you won’t differ this time..."
Two big tears escaped Monica’s brown eyes when she met Jamal’s. "I know you told me I would be hurt, but I still think love is what matters the most in this world..."
"Then you’re thinking about forgiving your boyfriend for whatever he had done or ask for his forgiveness if it was your fault, and you’ll be smiling again next week, just to cry again in no time..."
"Andrew and I are not coming back, Jamal..." Monica murmured in a barely audible voice.
"I swear I will never understand women! You can’t understand love and you shouldn’t feel it either! The time you use ‘loving’ someone you better use it in something more tangible..." he said making a sign of money with a hand, "... like the contract with the French lab we have to send today!"
Monica understood what he was asking and she stood up, but after barely two steps her knees grew weak and she almost fell. "Monica, are you alright?" Jamal asked going to her side and helping her take a seat again. When he touched her hand, he noticed how cold she was. "Did you have breakfast or dinner at least?"
"N-no..." Monica replied after a second. She then assumed that being in human form for so long and with the stress of last night, she was somehow paying its price.
Jamal shook his head. "My! What am I going to do with you, huh?" he said in a strange friendly tone. "I don’t want the best secretary I have had in years so sick in no time! Come on, I haven’t had breakfast either. We’re going to eat something and you will not object!"
***
Andrew sluggishly walked for awhile, hands stuffed in his pockets, not knowing what to think. He was confused, mad and sad at a time, with no place to go as he was too upset to go back home. Not even the clear morning could do something to cheer his heart. He ended up arriving at the diner where he had taken Monica the first day she worked on this assignment. He stood by the door for a second before he decided to get in.
"Well, see who’s here?" a blond girl told Andrew going to his side when he took a seat. "You’re back!"
"Hi, Deborah," the blond angel smiled faintly.
"But what a face you have! I thought you and Monica had worked things out after she was here!"
"She was here? When?" Andrew asked very surprised.
"A couple of days ago... She apologized... I thought you knew about it..." the girl said eyeing him carefully. When he remained silent, she added, "Are things all right between you two, Andrew?"
He sighed deeply before he turned to face the waitress. "No, Deborah, they are not... we... broke up."
"Oh, my! I’m so sorry to hear that!! I don’t know what to say!"
"I guess there’s no much to say..." he offered.
"You’ll find someone much better, Andrew, if you’ve broken for good..."
When he said nothing more, Deborah walked away in silence. Andrew stayed there thinking. There wasn’t anybody else for him. He wasn’t a normal human who have a chance to fall in love once and again. He had been granted that special gift once, and he still couldn’t believe he had lost her.
He lost the track of time lost in his thoughts until the noise of the opening door made him turn... to discover Monica and Jamal coming inside.
The little angel seemed to feel his gaze as she had just given a couple of steps inside when she turned to meet his green eyes. She could see them, so full with confusion, pain and even anger, that her heart broke again. She stood there like frozen until Jamal gently pushed her to the nearest table. "Jamal, could we... go somewhere else?"
"Why?" the man asked and then followed her sight to Andrew’s table. "Is that him?" She nodded. "We’re not leaving, Monica. You’ll show him you can live without him!"
Monica blinked hard trying to fight the tears. How could she tell him that she could not live without Andrew, that other than God, he was the only reason of her life? She turned slightly to see him looking at her again, her legs feeling like running to his side and hold him tight, but then again she remembered Kathleen’s threatens and knew the aching rancor she could see in Andrew’s eyes was worth his being safe.
"If you want him back, Monica, I think I could help you..." The Irish angel turned to see him, eyes wide open, which Jamal took as she was willing to try whatever he had to offer. "See? Kathleen and Gregory helped me to make a ‘deal’ with someone that grants me whatever I want to, either it is something material... or someone in special. If you want to, I’m sure he can give him back to you, this time with his full attention for you..."
Monica met her "boss" eyes and a frightened chill ran up and down her spine. Something in them just terrified her. She couldn’t believe he was offering her to make a deal with the Devil...

Un-break my heart chapter 5 Let's just kiss and say good bye

2005-05-14T15:55:00.000-07:00

Chapter 5

Let’s just kiss and say good bye

"Tonight!" Monica shouted loudly and Kathleen turned to see her. Both the angel and the demon looked at Andrew and how a safety net was miraculously extended to catch him before he hit the ground. Suddenly sound came back to Monica’s conscience and the murmurs of people around her let her know he was safe.
People had mover forward, trying to catch a glance at the firemen and at the man that had just fallen, but the angel couldn’t move. Tonight. One word had decided her destiny and that understanding was overwhelming. Her breath caught in her throat and burst in a pain-freeing sob. She started to cry with pain invading her heart. Shaking with the efforts of her sobs, her legs grew weak and she felt on her knees, her trembling hands moving to cover her face. "Father, forgive me, please," she whispered. "Andrew, I’m so sorry, I’m so, so sorry..."
***
Monica saw how an ambulance took the woman away as soon as possible and how Andrew was taken to another one so his hands could be treated properly. For a second her brown eyes met his and she started to ask herself how she would be able to ask him not to see her anymore when all her being impelled her to run to him and hold him tightly.
Feeling weak and defeated, she started to walk back to her house, her heart already heavy with sorrow. What had taken no more than ten minutes when she rushed to see Andrew, became almost an hour walk back. The air was quite chill now but she couldn’t feel it; it was as if her body was denying any sensation but the sharp pain in her heart. Weary, she walked to the living room not turning the lights on and let herself fall on the couch, her tears a continuos flood that seemed not to end.
She lost the track of time and only the sound of the door being opened made her look at the clock. Almost 11.30 p.m. Half an hour was all the time she had.
"Monica?" Andrew’s voice made her heart beat even faster. She could clearly hear the note of extreme exhaustion on it. How she’d like to hold him tight and spend the rest of the night seeing him sleep to recover from such an experience, but it was not an option anymore. She still couldn’t believe she had been capable of making a deal with a demon but now she couldn’t risk to see if they would fulfill their promise. Not when Andrew was involved.
The tinniest sob was the only reply the blond angel got from Monica, but it was enough for him to run to the couch and gather her in his arms. "Sshh... I’m here, baby, safe and sound." He combed her hair tenderly, yet it made him wince in pain for his burned palms.
Automatically, Monica had wrapped her arms around his waist but a minute later she pulled away. She didn’t miss the confused look on Andrew’s face, yet she decided to cover by examining his hands. "You’re hurt," she sobbed again, seeing how red his palms were even when he had been wearing special gloves.
"I’m okay," he stated.
"You are not!" she burst in tears again and stood up quickly. "You are hurt! And it could’ve been worse! Had you fallen, you would be now in h..." she couldn’t finish the sentence as her crying became more desperate.
"Monica, try to calm down!" he said reaching to take her arm to make her turn. "I’m okay. It was just a hard assignment..."
"No, no, it wasn’t!" she yelled. "This is all my fault!"
"Monica, what nonsense..." he tried to argue.
"No! It is not nonsense, Andrew! I’m risking your life and I can’t let it happen!"
"Risk my life? Monica, I’ve stood in high places more times than I can possibly count, you know it! And this..." he extended his palms, "... if I don’t recall bad you’ve been shot in assignment! What difference does it make?"
"The difference that it wasn’t you! That I didn’t have to worry for the one I love the most, but only about my own assignment! I can’t keep on doing this anymore, Andrew..." She looked at him directly on the eyes and he couldn’t believe the coldness he was seeing in her face.
"What?" he asked not daring to believe what he feared.
"I can’t keep on worrying about you and my assignment at the same time anymore," she stated as firmly as she could. She knew she had to do this, use that fear to make him go without actually having to lie to him or she knew she’d be sent to God’s country like she had been once before. The hurt look in his face was making it more difficult but she was determined.
"That’s so selfish..." the angel of death murmured, sure there had to be an explanation.
"Selfish?! You don’t have a clue, Andrew..."
"Then give it to me, Monica, ‘cause there’s no other way I can understand what you are telling me!" he yelled, his hand grabbing her chin to force her to see him, his green eyes sparkling like set on fire.
"Please, Andrew, you’re not making this any easy..." she murmured through the tears that were now running freely over her cheeks.
"Making what easy?!"
"Asking you to leave and not come back anymore!" she yelled back knowing that she had to shout it or she would never say it.
Andrew released her and gave a couple steps back, shocked by what he had heard. "Leave? Leave you alone forever?"
The Irish angel couldn’t answer. She just lowered her head, her sobs talking for her.
"You-you don’t want me anymore, Monica?" the blond angel stuttered. "You don’t love me anymore?"
"I do... I love you..." she whispered between sobs.
"No, you don’t! Love doesn't hide. It stays and fights. It goes the distance, remember? You used to say that!" he grabbed her arm quite violently.
"I can’t fight anymore, Andrew! I just can’t!"
"Then you never loved me as you said!" he stated in the most hurting tone.
She couldn’t be prepared to face him doubting her love and in between the pain in her heart, she felt a pent up anger at his words. "Oh, you can’t doubt my love for you, Andrew! What we shared, what we lived together, what I gave you was proof enough that I love you!"
"Then why are you asking me to leave?!"
"I told you! I’m risking your life and I can’t let it happen! Believe me! You’ll be better away from me! Please, Andrew, go away! Go away and never try to come back to me!"
He turned his back at her for a moment like thinking, and when he turned around, he said, "I won’t go anywhere unless you prove me you loved me! You’re an angel, you can’t lie! I don’t understand why you want me to go unless it means you never loved me!"
Monica read his eyes for a second, sensing he was serious. But she had to make him go in less than ten minutes. Yes, her heart was falling apart, but the mere thought of him being caught by the demons was enough for her to want to carry on in protecting him. There was only one way to convince him. Taking him by surprise, she placed both her hands on his cheeks pulling him down for the most passionate, almost lustful kiss she had ever given him.
Forcefully she opened his mouth and deepened the kiss while his strong hands remained on her waist pressing her against him. Their lungs were about to burst but none wanted to pull apart. It was Monica the one that finally let him go. "I love you," she said freeing herself from his embrace, panting heavily to catch her breath. She walked to the door and opened it. "Now, please, go."
Andrew still remained in his place for a couple of seconds, fighting against this reality. Feeling betrayed and defeated, he walked to the door where he stopped to look at Monica again. When she lowered her face, he knew he couldn’t argue and walked out slowly before disappearing in the thin air.

Un-break my heart chapter 4 Can't live (if living is without you)

2005-04-30T17:19:00.000-07:00

Hello, everyone!
I'm ready to post the following chapter.
I couldn't check it as my dear sisters Deyse and CubbieAngel were about to kill me if I didn't post quickly, so...
Anyway, enjoy it!

Chapter 4

Can’t live (if living is without you)

The trip back to Monica’s house was a very quiet one as the little angel didn’t talk much except to reply to the occasional questions of her ‘boss’ and to give Gregory directions to arrive. When the male demon stopped the car in front of Monica’s door, they noticed Andrew was opening it, a big bouquet of roses in his hands.
"Looks like we spoiled a surprise," Jamal commented. "See you tomorrow, Monica."
"T-thank you, Jamal," the little angel replied.
"Remember what we talked about, dear," Kathleen added and all Monica could do was to nod in understanding.
"What?" the man asked noticing his secretary nervousness.
"Women talking!" Kathleen covered. "I gave Monica some advice regarding men!"
Monica chose not to say anything as she got out of the limousine, just murmuring a "See you tomorrow."
Andrew had just opened the door when he noticed Monica coming to him. He smiled and offered her the roses. "These are for you," he murmured and stroked her cheek before pulling her for a kiss.
"Andrew... you didn’t have to," Monica murmured smelling at the blossoms. But although she was pleased with his gesture, her stomach was tied in knots knowing he was in danger.
Gregory took a minute to start the limousine again, allowing Jamal and Kathleen to see the two angels kissing.
"Let’s go inside," Monica suggested and Andrew couldn’t avoid to feel her a little nervous.
"How was your day?" the blond angel asked reaching to hold her from behind when she was going to set the flowers over the table. He moved her hair to a side to uncover her neck and kissed it lovingly.
Monica knew she was lost the moment his lips touched her skin. She couldn’t resist him, nor that she wanted to. Bending her head to a side so he could have a better access, she closed her eyes and moaned quietly. "So, how was your day, baby? You didn’t answer," Andrew insisted.
Monica turned in his arms and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Let’s not talk about it, please," she murmured almost touching his lips. "I just want to be with you tonight." She then crossed the small distance and kissed him, letting him to control the kiss at his own will.
Hours later, not even the monotonous sound of crickets could make Monica sleep. Andrew was fast asleep by her side, one of his arms wrapped lovingly around her waist, the other serving her as a pillow. She was drinking in his features, stroking his cheek with a feather like touch. Her hand descended to his bare chest and rested over his heart, his steady heartbeat under her palm. "How am I supposed to do it?" she murmured in a barely audible whisper. "I can’t live if living is without you, Andrew." She continued to look at him, unaware of the tears that were rolling down her cheeks.
***
Monica knew she couldn’t deceive Andrew much longer. That morning he had noticed she had cried during the night and although he had prepared her favorite breakfast, she hadn’t been able to eat but two or three tastes. Arguing she would be late for work, she had managed to convince him that they would talk in the afternoon, and that deadline was all that was in her mind during the morning, until people at the office started to talk about a special report on TV.
"Have you seen the news?" Kathleen asked getting into Jamal’s office when he was dictating a letter to Monica. "There’s a man trapped at the top of the Golden Gate!" The demon turned on the TV in the office and both the man and the angel came closer.
A small multitude had gathered by the shore of the beach and on the highway right by the base of the tower. They were all looking upwards towards the very top of the main tower, 746 feet away from the water.
"Hey, look, that’s Gregory!" Jamal exclaimed when he recognized his driver." He was supposed to go get my documents to the bank, not witnessing a stupid worker trapped!" the man complained although his amused smile was saying he was having a good time watching his worker on TV.
But Monica’s heart had started to beat faster when Jamal saw Gregory there fore she knew who had to be at the top with the trapped man. She turned to see Kathleen and the proud smile in the demon’s face proved her to be right. Andrew had to be there... Gregory was there menacing to catch him if he by any chance could fall. The camera shot the man at the top by the time a helicopter arrived to the place and a rescue man was descended to the tower. The little angel recognized him immediately and joining her hands, she prayed silently, her eyes fixed on the screen.
A collective "Oooh!" made her heart jump when Andrew seemed to lose his balance on the basket where he was seating. For a long minute, the blond angel was practically hanging from the basket until he could seat safely again. Two big tears where shinning at the brink of her eyes until they ran free after the man was seating by Andrew’s side and they were lifted to the helicopter.
Jamal celebrated the end of the incident with a joyous expression as if he had just seen a football match. "What a rescue, huh? W-what’s up?" he asked when he saw how pale Monica was and how she was wiping her tears away.
"I-I... Nothing," the Irish angel said still standing where she had seen all the rescue.
"Oh, come on, Monica, you’re impressed!" the man said walking to her and wrapping an arm around her shoulders squeezing her gently. "Both are ok! They’ll go back to have dinner with their families tonight and we’ll make Gregory tell us every detail as soon as he’s here!"
She nodded and freed herself from his embrace. "I-I’ll go get the letters typed," she said and walked out of the office.
"Fun is over. I’ll go back to work too," Kathleen told the man and followed the angel. Once she had closed the office door, she grabbed Monica’s arm and made her turn. "See? It ca be so, so easy. Next time, I promise Andrew will not be that lucky, dear!"
"You can’t hurt him! He’s an angel and God is watching over him!" Monica tried to defend himself.
"Oh, yes, for sure! But accidents happen all the time, honey, and sometimes even angels can’t save themselves..." the demon added leaving the angel shaking with fear behind her desk.
***
For the 100th time in the night, Monica turned to see the cuckoo clock over the fake chimney in the living room. Andrew had to be there already, he was supposed to arrive two hours ago. Under other circumstances she wouldn’t be that worried, knowing he might have been called in assignment. But since this morning she couldn’t just seat and wait for him to arrive as she knew he was in danger. She walked back to the kitchen and turned on the radio, trying to find a way to get distracted.
"If you’re just joining us now, we’re giving a special report about a fire in a building in Lombard Street..." Monica started to pay special attention to the report. Lombard street was four or five blocks away from her house. "What a day, guys! First the worker trapped at the Golden Gate and now this! Tina McPherson is our special reporter sent to the place. Tina what do you have there?"
The voice of the woman was barely audible with the sound of the sirens of ambulances and firemen trucks that were obviously arriving there. "Well, good night, San Francisco. We are at Lombard street where a fire started in an apartment building about two hours ago. It started apparently by the sixth floor and the fire has already consumed all the five upper floors. Most of the people that lived here is out of the building, but we’re sorry to inform you that there’s a pregnant woman trapped at the last floor. Due to her advanced condition, she couldn’t get out fast enough and she also can’t jump through the window where firemen would try to catch her. They are waiting for a volunteer to reach her with a telescopic ladder but time is an issue here..."
"Oh, no, Father, please!" Monica barely murmured before she turned the radio off and ran towards the zone of the disaster. She could feel in her heart that Andrew was there, and if he was going to be the volunteer... only God could help him to be safe.
What she had imagined while listening to the radio was nothing compared to what she found at the place. Half on her way there, she could already see the orange shining of the flames over the roofs of the high buildings. No less than ten firemen trucks were lined, hoses sending thousands of gallons of water towards the immense flames that nearly devoured the building and were menacing to spread to the next ones. The evacuated people remained near by, seeing how their houses all but disappeared behind the flames. And at the very top, in a small window there was the slim figure of a woman.
"Poor her! Do you think someone will help her? I’m sorry for her child..." a voice said by Monica’s side and the angel turned immediately to see Kathleen standing by her side.
"What are you doing here?!" Monica asked with a mix of fix and anger.
"Don’t you think we did a good job here?"
"YOU?!" the angel asked unable to believe it. "But why?! All these people and that woman!"
"Because... I have to fight for a soul that belong to us!" the demon replied facing Monica with a clear tone of challenge in her voice. "And if I don’t get him tonight, at least I can get the one of a really good angel..."
"No... no! I told you to leave him alone!" Monica shouted.
"The choice is in your hands! I want Jamal’s soul and I’ll get it! TO save your stupid beloved angel is all up to you!"
The little angel kept silence for a minute knowing what the demon’s game was: to make her weak so she couldn’t fight for Jamal’s soul properly. If they were so interested in the man’s soul it had to be because he was special. Somewhere under the hard, cold cover, there had to be something really good, worth enough for the demons to fight so much for him. She couldn’t give up on him, he was her assignment and the was God’s child. The Father had trusted her with him. Her only option was to give up on Andrew so she could keep him safe, even if her heart would break in pieces.
"Look, they are going for her!" someone shouted among the crowd. Monica looked upwards and recognized Andrew at the top of the mechanic ladder, another man behind him.
"Oh, Father, please, help them..." the little angel prayed.
"Oh, there is someone to help him, dear, don’t worry," Kathleen told her pointing at the man behind him. Gregory.
Monica’s heart started to beat wildly and everything around her seemed to disappear. It was only Andrew, the woman and Gregory. No more the shouting, the heat or the people around. Every foot the ladder went up, fear grew up in her heart, making her feet feel like made in lead and her legs in jelly. She couldn’t move, couldn’t think about anything but the blond angel and his safety. Like in slow motion, she saw him reaching the window, moving to get into the burning apartment and helping the woman very carefully to seat on the ladder. Gregory was by her side now, but when the blond angel was about to climb back to the ladder too, it suddenly moved leaving him hanging from the window frame. His shout of pain when he touched the hot metal made its way directly to Monica’s heart. There was no way in which he could resist. The frame must’ve been almost melting. He would release it. He would fall. And Kathleen would be there to catch him and take him with them...
After a second that seemed like an eternity for her, Monica saw Kathleen smiling again at her before she started to walk towards the building. The little angel lifted her face and saw how Andrew’s hands finally released their grip on the frame and he started to fall...

Un-break my heart chapter 3 If I should stay... but I'll go

2005-04-16T16:57:00.000-07:00

Hello, everyone!
I hope you like this!! Even if fluffyness is over now...

Chapter 3

If I should stay... but I’ll go...

Monica sighed when she found herself in front of Donald’s, the café where she and Andrew had been in two days before.
"The name certainly reminds me of the duck but other than that there’s nothing more worth looking at!" Tess told her charge appearing by her side. "Since when you doubt before getting into a café, Miss Wings?"
"Since I behaved badly with one of the waitresses," the Irish angel explained.
"I see..." the older angel murmured.
"I think now I understand why it is so difficult for humans to apologize..."
"I don’t want to remind you that you’re not exactly human and that human weaknesses are not an excuse for you, Monica."
"I know, Tess..." the little angel sighed. "Would you like to have a cup of tea? I’m buying..."
The supervisor followed her charge inside and to a table. As soon as she saw her, Deborah recognized Monica, and sharing a glance with her co-worker, the blond girl walked to offer them the menus. "Hi," she greeted automatically, "do you want coffee?"
"No, thanks, I prefer a tea..." Tess told her.
"I do take the coffee," Monica said and waited until Deborah filled the cup. "And... hum... Deborah, I really want to apologize. My behavior the other day was completely out of order. I had had a terrible day at work and I know you have nothing to do with that but..."
"But you thought I was trying to hit on your boyfriend," the girl stated still a little angry. That piece of news made Tess turn to see Monica rising an eyebrow as demanding an explanation.
"No!" Monica exclaimed. "Not exactly... In any case, I didn’t have the right to be so rude and I’m really sorry."
For a long second, there was an uncomfortable silence. "It’s ok," Deborah finally said. "I hope you and Andrew can fix things too. Here are your menus. I’ll come back to pick up your order."
Once Deborah was gone, Tess faced her young charge. "Just exactly what did you tell that girl, Miss Wings?" Finding her coffee suddenly too interesting, Monica lowered her gaze and told her supervisor what had happened. "Well, well... You’re right in finding it hard to apologize... Is it possible to know what bit you?"
"Not what... who," Monica answered. "Kathleen and Gregory are in my assignment too, Tess! They swear I won’t reach Jamal’s heart! Kathleen even suggested a deal!"
"A deal?!" the dark skinned angel asked.
"Andrew’s soul instead of Jamal’s!" Seeing the shocked face of the supervisor, the Irish angel continued. "You see now? How could I still be in a good mood after a day like that? I was confused and angry and scared for him! And when I was telling him this, he started to chat with an stranger as if he didn’t care about my worries!"
"Angel girl, you know better than that! You know that angel boy loves you more than his own life! Of course he cares about your worries!" Tess said taking her hand. "You know how the demons work. They use your fears to confuse you and to make you weak."
"They certainly do that too well..." Monica murmured wiping a tear away.
"I now understand why Sam told me Andrew could be your biggest weakness..." Reading the confusion in her charge’s eyes, she explained. "Sam told me that the day he explained me what your assignment was. Baby, please, remember what you’ve learned from past experiences with evil! Don’t follow their game and don’t make deals with them or they’ll fool you easily. I wish you didn’t have to do this, baby, but the Father had His reasons to give you this assignment. I’ll pray for you everyday..."
"Are you going somewhere, Tess?" Monica asked feeling a farewell tone in her supervisor’s voice.
"Not exactly but I’m afraid I won’t be able to see you often. With you dealing with this assignment, there are many other shorter cases assigned to younger caseworkers and I need to check on them. Like Gloria... you know you can’t leave her and her big mouth alone for so long..."
Monica chuckled a little at remembering how Tess was always complaining about Gloria and her inexperienced way of saying some things. "I’m gonna miss you, Tess..."
"I’ll try to come soon, baby," the supervisor said squeezing her hands. "Please, take care and don’t lose your north, ok? Don’t let them make you weak..."
***
"Hello, baby," Andrew murmured at Monica’s ear, surprising her by sneaking an arm around her waist while she was heading to her office.
"What...? Oh, Andrew!" she answered and threw her arms around his neck. "What are you doing here?"
"Well... I thought I could catch you before you started to work and that I could at least kiss you good morning..." He then kissed her and hugged her when they parted.
"Hum... I got to go..." she said releasing him. She had seen Jamal’s limousine arriving at the front of the building, Gregory quickly opening the door for the man and Kathleen.
Andrew looked at them briefly and gave her a quick peck. "Take care, ok? I’ll see you at night at home..."
Monica nodded and sighed deeply before she walked towards her ‘boss’.
Jamal saw the two angels pecking and ignored them, hurrying his pace towards the building. "Hello, Mony!" Kathleen greeted her sarcastically. "You worked things with your blond friend, huh?"
"None of your business, Kathleen..." she replied coldly and tried to keep on walking but Kathleen grabbed her arm and made her stop.
"Wrong answer, sweetheart!" the demon answered madly. "See? It is my business as your friend’s soul is highly tempting!"
Both the demon and the angel turned and Monica’s heart started to beat wildly when she saw Andrew crossing the streets, hands in his pockets unaware of anything around. As in slow motion, she saw how Gregory accelerated the limousine towards him...
"NO!" the little angel shouted.
"Watch out!" someone shouted as well and Andrew reacted on time to avoid the vehicle; the last thing he saw was the car going away...
Monica couldn’t breath until she saw how the car missed Andrew for barely a couple of feet. "Why?!" she turned to face Kathleen, her eyes shining with angry and scared tears. "I told you to leave him alone!" She then ran to Andrew who was now surrounded by some people who were asking him if he was ok.
As soon as he saw Monica coming, he opened his arms to receive her. "Shh... I’m ok, angel."
Sobbing, face buried against his chest, the little angel murmured, "I was so scared! He could have killed you!"
Seeing the blond guy was in one piece and sensing they needed to be alone, people around them kept on walking and went back to their occupations. Some minutes later, when he felt Monica was much calmer, Andrew pulled away and cupping her face made her look at him. "Monica, please promise me you’ll be very careful. I’m fine but worried about what they could try to do to you..."
"He wanted to hit you, Andrew!" she said, new tears forming in her eyes.
"But he didn’t!" the angel of death told her firmly. "I’m sure he wanted to shake you and they did! Now you have to be calm to go back there! Remember you can not look weak in front of them!"
"I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle this..."
"Yes, you will!" he kissed her forehead. "You’re the best and God chose you for a reason! They will try to make you mad and scared, but as much as you let them do that, they will take you away from your assignment! I’m ok, I’ll be twice careful since this moment, but you have to keep your mind on your assignment... not in me."
Looking directly into his green eyes, Monica saw how deep his love for her was and how he would be by her side, no matter what. "I’ll try."
"Good. Now go back to work. I have to be with an old woman in ten minutes. I’ll see you at night." He bent his head to give her a light kiss and let her go.
***
"You look much better today," Jamal told Monica that day in the afternoon when they were in his office. "You’re still worried but you look definitely better..."
"I-I... Yes," Monica stuttered.
"I saw you in the morning with this blond guy... Your boyfriend, I presume..." the man ventured. "That was what was wrong yesterday?"
Monica looked at him for a second and then lowered her face. "Yes," she managed to murmur.
For a long moment, Jamal said nothing. He just looked at his secretary from head to toe sighing deeply once or twice. "There was a time when I was like you, you know," he said and Monica met his gaze again. "Love ruled my life. I was sad or happy according to what love had in mind for me."
Sensing this was perhaps a way to start her trip to the man’s soul, the angel tried to know more. "Have you ever been in love, Jamal?"
The man met her brown eyes and Monica could read a story of suffering that was still fresh. "Yes, once," he said never breaking her sight. "She was an angel for me! She could’ve asked me anything in this world! My life itself wouldn’t have been enough for me to give her!"
"And what happened? Did you get married?"
The man chuckled sarcastically. "I was in love like a fool! Like an idiot is better to say! She left me! She said I was a poor nobody and she deserved better. I never saw her again... but I swore I would never be a poor nobody!"
Little by little, Monica had been understanding Jamal’s life as if she was turning upwards the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle: the man had been hurt and his hunger for money and power was nothing but his way to defend himself from pain and humiliation. "Did you ever fall in love again?" she continued to ask.
"Love is a waste of time and money, Monica!"
"I beg to differ..."
"Naïve," the man chuckled again.
"No, Jamal, I’m not naïve... This world was made with love and living without love is not living..."
Jamal’s mouth curled in a mocking smile and although he had a thousand arguments to fight Monica’s, he somehow couldn’t think on the exact one. Then a knock on the door interrupted them and Kathleen and Gregory went in.
"Ready to call this a day?" the female demon asked. "What were you talking about?"
"We were discussing love," Jamal replied and Kathleen didn’t miss the sudden spark of regret in his dark eyes. "But wei have enough for a day. It’s late, and I’m tired and hungry. Gregory we’ll go in five minutes. Monica, go get your things. We’ll drive you home..."
"Oh, it’s not necessary..." the angel tried to say.
"I said we are driving you home. So go get your things," Jamal concluded.
*
Kathleen and Gregory followed Monica out of Jamal’s office and as soon as they were in the hall, the female demon faced the angel. "Just exactly what were you doing, Monica?! Didn’t you understand when I told you to give him up?!"
"I can’t, Kathleen. He’s my assignment," she tried to sound calm and confident. "God sent me to save him and that’s what I’m going to do."
Gregory chuckled sarcastically. "You think you’ll do it, don’t you little angel? Guess what? You’re wrong! That’s why we are here!"
"He’s not lost! Not if I can help him!"
"You don’t get it, right?" Kathleen interrupted her. "You shouldn’t help him! He sold his soul to the Devil and he will go to him!"
"I won’t let that happen!"
"You will! Or we are taking Andrew instead!" the female demon said and saw how horror appeared on Monica’s face.
"No..." she answered weakly. "You can’t! Leave him alone!"
"What happen this morning wasn’t enough proof that we will take him, little angel?" Gregory added. "I missed him this time because I was just showing you... and him. But next time, you won’t shout loud enough!"
"Andrew is not part of this!" Monica had promised him and Tess she wouldn’t let them make her weak, but this was too much. She couldn’t bear to see him suffer. How could she make the demons stay away from him?
Kathleen seemed to be reading the angel’s expression as what she said next made perfect sense with Monica’s thoughts. "There’s a way for you to save him, Mony. I promise we won’t touch one of his blond strands if..."
"If?" the angel asked, her resistance destroyed now.
"...if you break him up."
Monica’s heart broke at the mere thought, still her head was spinning and she seemed not to think properly. "W-what?!"
"See... Pain is a pleasure for us as well as torture. You can choose for him, pain or torture," Gregory said wrapping an arm around her shoulders that the angel quickly got rid of. "And don’t think we can’t hurt him! To make him fall... we just would have to corner him in a high place and take him unaware..."
"I think you still remember when the master told you how to do it in the desert, right?" Kathleen asked.
The Devil’s voice was still clear in Monica’s mind, telling her to climb to a high cliff, urging her to jump... ‘I’ll be waiting to catch you...’
"...once he’s falling we’ll catch him and have him for the rest of eternity..." Kathleen added.
All of a sudden, the situation hit her: she would be losing him one way or another. Her only option was to spare him from physical pain, torture and... and eternity in Hell. "Don’t hurt him..." she murmured weakly.
"Well! She thinks!" Gregory mocked her.
"I’ll tell him to go but don’t hurt him..." she pleaded, a tear rolling down her cheek.
"When?" Gregory asked.
"You have three days, Monica," Kathleen stated. "We won’t wait more than three days."
***

Un-break my heart chapter 2 Part 2

2005-04-02T17:34:00.000-08:00

PART 2
Bring back my smile

Monica couldn’t remember the last time when she had less wanted to go back to an assignment than this time with Jamal. Not only the previous day she had discovered her "co-workers" were two demons, but also she had had the worst fight ever with her beloved Andrew. On the top of all was the fact that she couldn’t put her heart at ease yet as she missed the angel of death more than anything but she felt equally angry when she remembered him laughing and chatting with that... Deborah.
Weakly she walked from the elevator to her desk, mentally praying for her boss to arrive late. She left her purse in a drawer and took a seat. She then remembered the payment orders Jamal had asked her for and started to check for them on the papers scattered in front of her. Twenty minutes later she had gone through all the papers three times, each one finding she had missed new orders, until she finally left them over the desk and hide her face between her hands.
"You had a bad night, Mony?" Kathleen’s shrill voice made her snap back to reality.
"Kathleen..." she murmured.
"What a face you have dear! Couldn’t sleep all night? Oh, no, don’t tell me! Andrew!" The demon shook her head. "Men! One way or another they manage to steal your sleeping!" she laughed.
The little angel was taking deep rapid breaths to try to calm herself but her patience was growing thinner. "What do you want, Kathleen?"
"Hey! Is that a way to say hi to an old friend?" the demon asked.
"Old friend?" Jamal asked coming closer to them. "You didn’t tell me you knew each other!"
"Uh... oh... Yes!" Kathleen stuttered. "Monica and I worked together some time ago."
"Used to," the little angel mumbled.
"Where?" Jamal asked. Both Kathleen and Monica looked at each other like wanting the other to reply. Only then the man noticed the angel’s upset face. "Monica, are you ok?"
The little angel lowered her face so he couldn’t meet her eyes. "Yes, Jamal, I’ll be ok."
"Poor Monica was telling me what you, men do us," Kathleen intervened and walked sexily towards her ‘boss’. Wrapping her arms around one of his, she added, "and yet... we seem not to know how to live without you!"
"You, women are the ones that make us suffer!" Jamal replied following his assistant game. But when he looked at his new secretary again, something made him felt somehow as miserable as she looked. "You don’t look fine, Monica. Why don’t you take a break?"
"I haven’t finished with the payment orders you asked me..."
"That can wait. Take a couple of hours. Go have a coffee or something. I don’t want to see you here until 11," the man ordered before he got into his office.
*
Just as the same time there was another angel that wasn’t doing any better. Andrew walked in a park until a bench and took a seat on it, desperately rubbing his face with his hands.
"Andrew..." Sam greeted his former charge appearing by his side.
"Sam..." the blond angel responded.
"I guess I don’t have to ask how are you doing. Your face speaks volumes."
"What can I say, Sam?" the blond angel replied in a defeated tone.
"You can start by telling me what happened with Monica that has you this down," the dark skinned angel surprised the younger one.
"How... How did you know about...?"
"About you and Monica?" Sam smiled. "Son, whoever has seen you two together can easily guess that the only reason for such a face is that you had problems with that sweet Irish angel! What happened?"
"We had an argument, Sam. I wanted to help her with her assignment but she took it the wrong way and thought I didn’t consider her capable enough to handle it by herself..."
"You do know this is a specially hard assignment, don’t you, Andrew?"
"Yes, I do, Sam! Tess told me, and Monica mentioned Kathleen and Gregory are there too! I know this is difficult!" the blond angel answered almost angrily and stood up quickly. "I want to help her! There’s nothing I want more!"
"Ease, Andrew, you don’t have to convince me! I know you want to help her, but pushing her is not the best way," the supervisor said.
"You know her, Sam! She thinks she can do it all and sometimes she’s too stubborn to accept help!"
"Did you hear yourself, Andrew?" Sam stopped the blond angel.
Andrew sighed heavily and took a seat again. "I’m sorry but she’s stubborn sometimes."
"I know she is. That’s why the Father put Tess as her supervisor an not anyone else. And that’s why she’s been chosen to help Jamal this time. I know you want to help her but this is not the way."
Andrew met Sam’s gaze and the older angel could see in his green eyes how clueless he felt her. "I love her more than my life, Sam. All I want is her safe and happy and... and with me."
Sam placed a hand on Andrew’s shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. "I told Tess you’d be her biggest weakness this time, but don’t be her heaviest burden too, Andrew. That much she couldn’t bear it..."
The blond angel of death saw him walking away, not sure of what he had told him. All he was sure of was that his heart felt so heavy that he didn’t want but to fix things with his beloved Irish friend.
***
"Are you feeling any better, Monica?" Jamal asked the little angel that day in the afternoon. They had just finished to discuss the next meeting agenda.
Monica smiled weakly though she felt grateful with him. "Yes, Jamal, thank you. I was going to ask you if you wanted me to stay late to pay the hours you gave me in the morning..."
"No, no, it’s not necessary," Jamal replied and it even surprised himself. With another secretary he would have made her stay. "The day was quite calm and you finished your job, you don’t have to stay," he tried to cover.
"Thank you," Monica replied shyly and walked out.
Jamal saw her go and something deep in his heart started to reborn after long years of being buried and forgotten.
***
The coldness of the small waves reaching her bare feet couldn’t take out of her reverie the little angel that walked along the beach of her temporary home. Where just a couple of days before she had observed the sunset in the arms of the angel she loved the most, now she was distractedly looking at how the waves erased the traces her feet had left on the sand. All in this assignment felt for her too hard to control and now she felt even weaker as she was mad at the one that always gave her strength.
She longed to have him with her but she didn’t know how to talk to him when her heart felt so troubled that she couldn’t concentrate on one single thing as her assignment. Finally she stopped her pacing and lifted her head in a prayer. "Father, please, let him know I love him," she murmured and closed her eyes feeling how a lonely tear crossed her cheek.
"And I love you, Monica," Andrew’s soothing voice startled her just the same as his hand on her shoulder. "There are not enough words to make you see how much..."
Monica turned to meet his green loving eyes shinning with the last rays of the sun. Looking at him made her remember how badly she wanted him, but also made her anger rise again, anger at feeling betrayed because it seemed to her he was not trusting her. "Andrew..." the little angel whispered.
"Sweetheart, I’m so sorry..." he murmured touching her forehead with his. "I don’t know what I did wrong but it feels so bad to be away from you..."
"Why can’t you trust me with a hard assignment, Andrew?" Her voice was still low but there was a clear note of resentment on it. "I’ve learned through the years..."
"I know, baby, I know," the blond angel offered. "It’s not that I don’t trust you..."
"You made me feel like a silly angel, Andrew! If you trusted me, you wouldn’t make me feel that way!" Monica argued.
He placed his strong hands on her shoulders and ran them down her arms and up again. "Monica, I trust you to handle the hardest assignment, to reach the more closed heart and open it up to God but..."
"No ‘buts’ Andrew!" she started to feel angry again.
"I trust you as an angel, Monica!" he raised his voice a little to force her to listen. "It’s me without you whom I can’t trust! Can’t you see it, baby? Me asking you to be careful, to let me help even if I’m not officially assigned to your case, it’s my way to beg you to come back to me! I can’t even fathom a day without you, Monica! You’re every second of my very life! I’m nothing without you!"
Along with the green fire she could see in his eyes, she recognized that he was telling her nothing but the truth. Deep in her heart she had always known what he was telling her, and more than once she had felt that fierce love too, but now she was seeing it in his eyes. The deep unending love he felt for her. No doubts, no lies.
"You’re my entire world too, Andrew. I told you so..." she replied unable to take her eyes away from his. "I always want to go back to you."
"And I pray the Father for you to do it every day, baby. And today I prayed more than ever."
"I’m back today..." Monica murmured after a long minute. She placed a hand on his cheek and stroked it gently.
"Thanks God," Andrew whispered and leaned down to brush her lips with his.
What started like a very light kiss, little by little became more demanding and passionate as both angels released their troubled hearts in that kiss. Long minutes passed until a sudden cold gust of wind made Monica shiver. Andrew felt that and wrapped his arms protectively around her naked arms. "Let’s go back to the house, baby," he said kissing the top of her head and then wrapped his arm around her waist to guide her into the comfortable living room.
***

Un-break my heart chapter 2 Part 1

2005-03-14T13:25:00.000-08:00

Hello, everyone!!!
I hope you're enjoying this story. Please, leave a comment after you read it! *puppy eyes*

Chapter 2

Part 1
Don’t let this feeling end

"Well, well.. Aren’t you happy to see us, Monica?" Kathleen asked sarcastically when they left Jamal’s office.
"What are you doing here?" Monica asked defiantly, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Where are your manners, Mony?" Gregory said wrapping an arm around her shoulders that she immediately tried to get rid of. "Instead of saying something nice like ‘Long time no see’. Is that the way you greet your partners?"
"You’ve never been my partner, Gregory. Kathleen was, but now..." she turned to look at the former Search and Rescue angel with something that resembled sadness in her hazel eyes.
"We’ll work together again, Monica. Isn’t that great?" Kathleen asked.
"We won’t work together, Kathleen, and you know that," the little angel said coldly. "In fact, I’m here to stop you to do your job."
Gregory laughed in scorn. "Hold your wings, little angel! You think we’re giving up so easily? Of course not! We’ve gotten Jamal’s soul, we’re not losing it!"
"You don’t have it yet!"
"Didn’t your boss told you he’s offered his soul to our master by the time of his death?" the male demon asked again. "For me that’s a promise!"
"He still can regret it and ask for forgiveness, you know that!" Monica’s eyes flashed with certainty. "That’s why you don’t want to leave him alone! You still can lose him!"
"Ease, Monica, ease!" Kathleen told her ex friend patting her shoulder in mock understanding. "Gregory can be a little rude, you know him. He thinks he can beat you in a will contest, but I have a better proposition."
"I’m not interested in any of your propositions, Kathleen, thank you."
"Are you sure? What if I tell you I’m willing to give up on Jamal?"
"Sure you do!"
"I will... if you agree to make a deal," the female demon said.
"I don’t make deals with any of you..."
"If you fail this assignment, you risk to lose God’s love. If you lose Jamal’s soul, you’re losing one of His children’s soul. Don’t you think that would make him angry?" Kathleen asked knowing that was a very sensitive cord for an angel. "You were created to save them not to lose them. He’ll forgive you, yes, but do you think you’d keep on being a caseworker? I’m pretty sure you’d be back to Search and Rescue or what is worse, you might be send somewhere else... like cherubim sitting or gardening..."
"That would be humiliating, Monica!" Gregory made fun of her. "From being the best caseworker to take care of the noisy little cherubims. Lucky you like children!"
"That will never happen!" Monica said with clear anger in her voice. "First because that’s not how it works, second because I’m not losing this assignment!"
"You have already, dear!" Kathleen told her. "But there’s a way for you to get it. If you only hear my proposition..."
"I will never...!" the little angel said.
"An interchange," the demon interrupted her and Gregory looked at her quizzically until he heard the last part. "Jamal’s soul for Andrew’s."
"WHAT?!" Monica shouted feeling how anger and fear raised in her heart in a second.
"You heard me, yes, I can accept Andrew’s soul instead of Jamal’s. You know, Monica? I’ve seen you two together and you make me sick! All that sugar..." Kathleen shivered. "Don’t you get bored? Honestly..."
"How can you ever believe I’d trade Andrew?! Other than the Father, he’s what I love the most!"
"That’s it, you’d said it, dear!" Gregory replied. "’Other than the Father’. The question is who you love the most. Your God or Andrew? You can choose. God’s love and your assignment or your blondie friend."
Just when the Irish angel was about to argue, a buzz in the intercom interrupted them. Monica pressed a button to reply to Jamal’s call. "Y-yes?" she said, her voice clearly trembling.
"Monica, I need you here!" the man’s voice ordered.
"Think about it, Mony," Kathleen said walking away with Gregory. "God or Andrew? That easy."
****
Wanting or not, Monica couldn’t take out of her mind Kathleen and Gregory’s words. Of course she didn’t want to risk her assignment but she would never ever send Andrew to hell. The problem was that there was indeed the possibility of someone ending up there, Jamal, and God was trusting her to save His child.
Before she realized it, it was already five o’clock, her time of leaving the office. She only looked at the clock when Jamal left his office and passed by her desk.
"See you tomorrow, Monica. Gregory and Kathleen are waiting for me. I need the payment orders first hour in the morning, ok?"
"Ok," the angel replied. "See you tomorrow."
She was collecting her things when the phone rang. "There’s a man looking for Miss Monica," the man at the lobby desk told her. "He says his name’s Andrew."
"Yes, tell him I’ll be there in a minute," she said though her voice lacked the normal joy she had when she was about to see him.
Nearly five minutes later, Andrew saw her leaving the elevator and from that moment he could say there was something wrong. She looked tired and the tender smile that usually greeted him didn’t appear when he took her hand and leaned to kiss her. "Are you alright, Monica?" he asked.
The Irish angel met his green eyes and saw there a deep worry that only matched the big love she always found there. "I’m ok, Andrew, just tired..." she chose to say. "Can we go have something to eat?"
"Whatever you want, angel," he replied knowing she wasn’t telling him all but thinking she might feel more comfortable to talk in another place.
He took her hand and they walked in an odd silence until they reached a café, three blocks away from Monica’s new office. "Do you want a coffee?" he asked trying to cheer her up.
"Yes, it’s ok," she said without the enthusiasm. He opened the door for her and went to order their beverages while she took an empty table. Her distant sight and the non-happy tone in her voice made Andrew decide he wanted to know what wasn’t right. Hopefully, he thought, the coffee would help her open up to him.
"You haven’t told me how was your first day, baby," he offered gently, placing the big cup of moka latte in front of her.
"It was ok, I guess..." she said taking a sip. "Just what I could expect."
"Did you meet Jamal or the other employees?" he asked reaching to take her hand.
"Yes, I met him. As for the others..." but she didn’t complete her sentence. Looking at their intertwined fingers, the ‘deal’ the demons had proposed came to her mind as well as the fear of knowing they had placed their eyes on her beloved angel. She couldn’t let him get hurt...
"They were mean to you?"
"Mean?" she asked and chuckled quite sarcastically, for the first time looking at him. "I’ve known them long enough to know that’s how they’d act..."
"You have?" he asked not really understanding.
"They are Kathleen and Gregory, Jamal’s personal assistant and personal driver," she told him and didn’t miss the way his eyes flashed with anger and his hand held hers tighter.
"Kathleen and Gregory? Both of them?!" She just nodded. "Monica, you have to be careful!"
"I know!"
"Angel, I couldn’t bare if something happened to you..."
Monica bit her lower lip seeing the caring concern in Andrew’s expression and she knew she was right in what she had said before: other than God, there was nobody she loved more. And for that she couldn’t tell him anything, she couldn’t even mention the ‘deal’, nor that he would accept it. Unable to hold his sight, she freed her hand from his and took another sip of her coffee.
"I want you to be careful, Monica," Andrew said in a very serious tone.
"I can take..." she was about to answer when the cell phone she has gotten as an employee started to ring. She sighed heavily and took the phone. "Yes?" she asked almost angrily.
"Your new boss wants you in the council meeting with him tomorrow, Monica," Kathleen told her. "I’m sorry to tell you that I’m gonna be there too..."
Hearing her voice, Monica felt the color draining from her face, but at the last remark, she couldn’t help but exclaim a "What?" that made Andrew look at her worriedly.
"Until you don’t accept my deal, I’m not leaving you alone with Jamal, baby," the demon said. "You know the rule".
Thinking twice before replying and saying something that would make Andrew wonder about that ‘deal’, Monica stood up from the table and walked away as if she had trouble with the signal. "And I’ve told you I don’t make deals with you, Kathleen! Least of all if Andrew is involved!"
"Pity..." the demon answered. "I saw you walking out of the office. He really cares about you, you know? How will he feel when you tell him you failed your assignment? He may be the angel of death waiting for Jamal’s soul and will get nothing but seeing him go straight to hell... literally!" Kathleen laughed.
"I haven’t lost Jamal yet..." Monica spent some more minutes arguing with her ex co-worker, Kathleen sarcasm and certainty only making her more and more insecure and scared.
When she hung up the phone, she wanted nothing but run to Andrew’s arms and let him fix her self-confidence, but she froze in her place when she turned to walk back to their table and saw him laughing and chatting with a blond haired woman that was now using her chair. A sudden anger overcame her and in three quick long strides she was by the table again.
"You’ve gotta be kidding me!" the little angel heard Andrew telling the girl.
"No! I promise!" she laughed.
"Excuse me," Monica said with barely contained rage, "but I think you’re using my chair."
Her tone of voice surprised Andrew, who looked at her unable to believe that was the same Monica, while the woman looked at her somehow embarrassed. "I-I’m sorry?" she asked.
"I think you heard me. You’re using my chair," Monica repeated.
"Deborah, this is my girlfriend, Monica," Andrew said standing up and trying to cover the angel’s attitude.
"Oh, hi!" the blond girl said cheerfully.
"Hi," Monica replied coldly.
"Hum... Well, Andrew, I think I better leave you alone. It was nice talking to you!"
"Yes, I enjoyed it very much..." the blond angel said.
"Come by again soon," the girl told him.
"I will, thanks."
"Bye, Monica!"
The Irish angel didn’t answer as she was feeling a mix of anger and sadness rising in her chest and in her eyes in the form of tears that would appear in any moment.
Andrew saw his new friend going away before he turned to face Monica, whose eyes were already shining with tears. "Now, Monica, can you please explain me what’s the matter with you?!" he said in a low thought very angry voice.
"You still ask, Andrew?" she answered tumbling on her chair. "I had one of the worst days in my life as a caseworker and when I need you the most, you’re with another... woman!"
"Baby, I was just talking to her!" he argued. "You even weren’t here!"
"But you should’ve been waiting for me!"
"I was! And that you had a bad day doesn’t give you the right to be so rude! I wish I could help you more, but I’m not in your assignment!"
Arguing with Andrew was all the little angel needed to break down, so at his last words, tears started to cross her cheeks. "Ok, I know! Forget I even mentioned it!"
"Monica..."
"As I told you the day we met, I may be unlucky but certainly I’m not incompetent!"
The memory of that particular moment in a day he held dearly in his heart was like a punch on his stomach. Her tears and her outburst were nothing but the proof that whatever she had been through today had certainly taken its toll on the little angel. Regretting his hard recriminations, Andrew reached a hand to take hers. "Angel girl," he started with a doubting voice, "that’s unfair!"
"You didn’t mean it?" she exploded looking at him through her tears. "Yes, you did! I’m rude and boring and you had a good time with... Deborah. Well, stay then! I’ll see you later!" Monica said standing up quickly, grabbing her purse and leaving Andrew speechless in the lonely table.

Un-break my heart chapter 1

2005-02-19T17:54:00.000-08:00

Chapter 1

God only knows

"Monica, Tess is already waiting for you!" Andrew shouted from the bottom of the stairs. "She’s already dressing, I can’t hear the shower," the blond angel told the supervisor coming back to the kitchen. "We... hum... had a busy night yesterday... We thought you’d join us."
Tess smiled and patted his hand lovingly. "On Valentine’s day? I knew you’d find something special to do and you’d rather do that without me!"
"You know we love you, Tess," Andrew said kissing her cheek.
"And I love you two too, angel boy. But I know that sometimes you need to be alone and I should be out of the way..." she replied mischievously and chuckled when she saw Andrew blushing and finding his empty coffee mug suddenly fascinating.
"Good morning, Tess!" Monica said going to hug her supervisor.
"Well, good morning, sleeping beauty! You’ve just saved Andrew to be scolded for keeping you awake till too late!" the dark skinned angel teased her.
"He’d have to be scolded for not taking coffee upstairs! He knows that’s an effective way to wake me up!" the Irish angel joked serving herself a hot mug of her favorite drink and then took a seat beside Andrew, pecking him on the lips at his expression of mock annoyance.
"Ok, now we can discuss your new assignment, Miss Wings," Tess said seriously. "You’re taking a post of executive secretary at Burgham enterprises. You’ll be working with the president, Jamal Burgham."
"All right. And where will you be?" the small angel asked taking a piece of fruit from the plate Andrew had placed in front of her.
"Angel baby, this time neither Andrew nor me will be there. You’re on your own..."
Monica had handled some assignments already alone, so that was not the part that scared her. It was the too solemn tone in Tess’ voice. "What is this assignment about, Tess? All I know so far is that I had to be in this house, but the Father hasn’t told me more..."
"I know, baby. I asked Him to be the one telling you." Tess moved her chair to be closer to her charge and took her hands. "Monica, I’ll be direct. You’re going to face Evil again. I know you’ve done it sometimes before and that the Father has always been there with you. I know He will too this time, but yet I have to warn you: it is not just one evil being this time. Your assignment is Jamal, a very rich and powerful man, but..."
"... but he has forgotten God," Monica ventured.
"Yes, but he has not only forgotten the Father. He has neglected Him in the worst way: Jamal has offered his soul to the Devil by the time of his death."
Monica took a sharp breath and opened her eyes, looking at Andrew and then at Tess. She could feel Andrew’s hand rubbing her waist and she knew it was more for his own fear than to soothe her apprehension. "And his death is not far..." the little angel turned to see Andrew.
He knew he couldn’t lie to her even when the scared look in her eyes made his heart ache. "No, baby. It may be coming..."
****
The rest of the breakfast was quiet and somber, and so was the trip to Monica’s new office. Andrew had taken his normal seat at the back of the red Cadillac, but he had kept a hand on his beloved angel’s shoulder, alternately combing her hair and rubbing her right arm. Once they had arrived to the office building, Tess parked the car and turned to see her charge. "Remember, angel girl, don’t let them fool you. Be careful. Remember how the enemy works, attacking your weaknesses and using your fears. Don’t let them deceive you."
"I’ll be careful, Tess," Monica said leaning over to hug her supervisor. "God will always be with me."
"Yes, baby, He will."
Andrew has already jumped out of the car and was holding the door opened for her. When she descended, he pulled her into a fiercely protective hug. "Take care, Monica, please. God only knows what would become of me if I lost you."
She pulled apart a little to look at his eyes and found there the strong and deep love he felt for her. She cupped his cheek tenderly and made him lean down for a kiss. "I’ll be fine, Andrew. You take care. Please, come back tonight?"
"Godspeed, baby. If I don’t get assigned, I’ll come to have dinner with you, ok?" he said giving her a last quick kiss.
"I’ll be waiting for you."
Both Andrew and Tess saw her getting into the building before they left. "Can I give you a lift, angel boy?" the supervisor asked him.
"Yeah, thanks, Tess. I have to be at the County hospital in one hour," the angel of death answered seriously.
They drove for a while in an uncomfortable silence until the dark skinned angel talked. "Something’s wrong, Andrew?"
The blond angel sighed. "I don’t like the idea of Monica handling something like this and alone! You know how she is, how caring her heart is and if the enemy tries to use her weak points, she’s going to suffer a lot! Wasn’t anybody else to do this?!"
"Are you insinuating that the Father made a wrong choice, angel boy?"
Andrew broke Tess’ gaze and looked in front not really paying attention to anything. "It much feels like..." he confessed, "...although I know He always knows what He’s doing."
"Yes, He knows, Andrew! He has his reasons to pick Monica out for this job even if we both would gladly trade places with her to spare her from danger! Against Evil we’re all together in this war, but only the Father knows what the next movement will be. We have to trust Monica and trust Him over all!" the supervisor replied.
"I do trust Him... and I trust Him with her," Andrew spoke after some seconds in silence. "I just hope I don’t get assigned at night to be able to come and check on her," he said getting out of the car and heading towards the hospital main entrance.
****
Monica walked somehow timidly towards the big black desk where a tall man was desperately looking for something among big piles of papers that were now all scattered around. He was wearing only his shirt and his tie was half loosen, showing clearly he was frantic for what he was searching. "E-excuse me, sir," Monica said cautiously. "I’m looking for Mr. Jamal Burgham."
"If your name’s Monica and you’re applying for the secretary post, you’re hired," he said not taking his eyes off the papers.
The Irish angel chuckled lightly, her previous uncertainty immediately gone. "Yes, I am Monica," and she offered her hand to him.
Only then Jamal looked at her, taking her hand. "Monica? My new secretary?" he said carefully studying her, a weird spark in his eyes that she didn’t like much. Jamal was looking at her examining her body and she could feel it. "Hum... Nice hair... Reddish," he said still holding her hand even when she had discretely tried to pull it away. "It matches my assistant’s hair too. You’ll know her soon. It seems that I’m condemned to live among reddish haired women. All right then," he said finally releasing her hand and walking to his office. "That’s your desk, and if you can find among those the taxes payment receipts from the last year, you’ll get a promotion in your salary since today."
Monica stood still until the door was closed and then sighed in resignation. She put away some papers to make room for her purse and started to order the mess. An hour later, she knocked at Jamal’s door and walked into the office with the papers he had asked.
"These are all, Mr. Burgham. I checked twice," the little angel said.
"Call me Jamal," he replied while he looked at the papers. "Good job, Monica. I think we’ll get along just fine!"
Monica smiled and sighed in relief, and then heard a new knock at the door.
"Come in! Oh, there you are!" Jamal exclaimed when he saw the two people coming. "Monica, I want you to meet my closer workers, my personal assistant and my driver."
Still smiling, the Irish angel turned to greet them, but her heart froze when she recognized them. "Kathleen! Gregory!" she exclaimed.

Un-break my heart

2005-02-13T16:07:00.000-08:00

Hello, everyone!
Happy Valentine's! As a special present, I'm starting to post a new story today.
This is going to be a very unusual story, I'm pretty sure, but I hope you enjoy it.
I won't be posting this on the official TBAA board as it is a shipper and I won't change it. It wouldn't work that way. I'm looking forward to make you sigh, cry and shout a little here.
Remember I'll be waiting for your replies.
Love,
Gaby

Un-break my heart

By Gabriela Valenzuela

Prologue

You’re my world

“Is it here?” Tess turned and asked Sam, the angel in charge of special cases, when they appeared in a corner of a big dark room.
“Yes, Tess, it’s here,” the dark skinned angel told the supervisor. “It’s going to start any minute now.”
“You-you know, Sam? I really don’t like the idea of Monica handling this. She’s faced evil many times but nothing like this!”
“I know,” Sam replied noticing the deep worry in his co-worker’s eyes. “But the Father knows she’s the right angel for this.”
“It’s going to be too hard for that angel girl...”
“She’s strong enough...”
“What if she can’t deal with this alone? You said I won’t be working with her...”
“She’ll get special help if she needs it...” Sam assured her.
“Andrew?” Tess asked hopefully.
“I’m afraid not. He won’t be able to help her this time. Much on the contrary, he will be her biggest weakness,” the male angel answered.
“Sam, I hate to say this but I’m really scared,” the supervisor said in an insecure tone that was very unusual in her.
“I understand but there’s no other way. It’s too late to find someone else. They are coming,” Sam said and then looked at the door.
The two angels saw a group of people getting into the room, all dressed in black with large capes covering them from head to toe, their faces hidden from the paly light of a chandelier. They formed a circle and started to sing something neither Tess nor Sam understood. It seemed they were in a kind of trance, their singing repeated once and again until another figure appeared out of nothing and came closer the them.
Two of the figures went to his side and bowed in front of him, then invited a third one that made the same. Sam and Tess were right in front of them but across the room. They were invisible to human eyes, so a bone deep worry ran through them when the figure appeared out of nothing lifted his face and looked at them. The two other figures that had come to its side first looked at the angels and then uncovered their faces. “Oh, Father, please help us!” Tess murmured when she recognized them and then turned to look at Sam. He nodded confirming her fears: it was the Enemy itself.
****
“Andrew! Come! Look at this!” Monica shouted and in a second she got rid of her shoes and ran across the backyard of “her” house to the beach at the end of it. She had just gotten the orders to go to San Francisco and get settled in that house at the limits of the city, and she was far from complaining about the location. She ran as a little child until the small waves reached her feet.
At hearing her shouts, Andrew went to the backyard door and stood there just looking at her. His heart felt so full of love that he couldn’t think about anything but thanking God for create that little angel. The almost setting sun was washing her small figure with a soft orange light that made her look even more beautiful, even more ethereal in the loosen dress she was wearing. She then turned to see him and smiled, reaching a hand to invite him to join her.
Andrew walked to her and taking her hand, he pulled her into a tight hold. “Do you ever realize how amazingly beautiful you are?” he murmured kissing her cheek and then her lips. They stayed there for some minutes, just looking at the sun and the sea, until Andrew checked his watch. “We better hurry.”
“Can’t we wait for the sunset?” Monica pouted.
“Oh, no! You were the one who insisted on that restaurant downtown! We are not missing the reservations!” he said mockingly complaining. “You better get pretty as soon as possible!”
Monica yelled in surprise when Andrew took her in his arms and started to walk back to the house. “I thought you’d said I was already pretty!” she argued.
“You are! You are the most beautiful angel God has ever created!” he replied placing her back on the floor near where she had let her shoes. “But humans created something like dressing codes, and barefoot is not acceptable everywhere!” he teased her leaning down to give her a peck and later pushing her gently inside the house.
*
“Do you know where Tess is?” Monica asked Andrew late that night when they were already taking the dessert in the restaurant she had picked up.
“No, baby, I don’t know. She just asked me to take you to the house and keep you company... And I’m far from complaining!” he added kissing her hand.
“So do I!” she agreed. “This was a different Valentine’s.”
“The first we spend like this,” he added kissing her hand again. “I have something for you.”
She opened her mouth in a surprised intake when she saw the beautiful pair of earrings and the matching ring he had bought her. They were made with gold, sapphires and diamonds and had the shape of a small flower, with the blue gem at the center. “Andrew, they are beautiful!” she reached a trembling hand to graze them.
“Delicate, small, almost innocent... like you, baby,” he said taking the ring and slipping it on her finger. “So you remember I’m with you wherever you go.”
Monica felt tears stinging in her eyes with his present. “I have something for you too,” she said, “but my present pales in comparison with yours.”
He took the package she was offering him and unwrapped it to discover a leather covered edition of the Twenty love poems and a song of despair by Pablo Neruda. He opened it and read the inscription she had written.
“I know you like poetry,” she explained, “and these were perfect. I took a little paragraph of one to write the inscription.”
“I don’t resemble anybody since you loved me.
Lay me down between yellow garlands.
Who writes my name in smoke letters among the stars of the South?
Ah, let me remember how I was back then,
when I didn’t exist yet.”*

“I couldn’t give you something like this...” the little angel said almost ashamedly looking at the ring in her hand.
He didn’t let her finish. He placed a hand on her forehead and pulled her down for a long, passionate kiss. “You alone are the best present I could ever get,” he told her trying to regain his breath. “You are my world!”
They kissed again until they were again both breathless. “You’re my world, you’re every breath I take,” Monica murmured repeating the lyrics of Cilla Black’s song. “If our love ceases to be, then it’s the end of my world, end of my world for me.”
______
*Poem 14, You play all days...
“You don’t resemble anybody since I love you.
Let me lay you down between yellow garlands.
Who writes your name in smoke letters among the stars of the South?
Ah, let me remember how you were back then,
when you didn’t exist yet.”
****

Somewhere under the desert's moon Epilogue

2005-02-05T09:49:00.000-08:00

Hello, everyone!
I'm happy to post the last part of this story. Thanks for all your comments, I'm glad you liked the story.
There's a new one coming soon.
Blessings,
Gaby

Epilogue

"Well, good morning, sleepyhead" Gloria’s voice was what Monica first heard in the morning. She blinked several times before she could open her eyes, still feeling weak after so many days in bed.
"G’morning," she mumbled.
"You have a visitor," Robert’s voice made her turn and see the man with Mike in his arms.
"Hello, Mike," Monica said now fully awake.
"Hi! Are you feeling better?" the boy asked.
"Yes, honey, thank you," the angel told the boy. "I see your dad went to see you."
"This morning, first hour!" Robert said kissing the boy’s cheek. "He’s had a good breakfast and, if he behaves, I promised him a cake for tonight. Will you like a piece, Monica?"
"Sure!" the little angel smiled at the image of her assignment with his son in arms.
"Senator Grimsley, you’ve gotta come!" a nurse got into the room almost shouting. "It’s your wife!"
"Oh, no, Father, please!" Monica and Gloria heard Robert praying before he left his son on Monica’s bed and ran out of the room with Gloria behind him.
"Mommy!" Mike cried and he tried to follow his father but the little angel stopped him.
"Wait, Mike, I’ll go with you," Monica said and slowly she got out of bed and put her robe on.
When Monica and Mike finally arrived to Alice’s room, Gloria was standing at the door frame looking at the scene behind her with tears in her eyes. "She woke up!" the young angel informed them. "She’s going to be alright!"
"Thanks, Father!" Monica said looking at Mike and at Robert, who was tenderly stroking Alice’s hair and kissing her hand.
***
"When am I going to see my mommy?" Mike asked about two hours later. Gloria had taken the boy and Monica back to the angel’s room so Robert could have a time alone with his wife.
"It won’t be long, sweetheart," Monica said taking her turn in the game of checkers she was sharing with the boy. "Your mommy will be moved to a normal room soon and your daddy had some things to talk to her."
"He won’t leave the house, will he?" the boy asked with sad eyes.
"I don’t think so, Mike. Your daddy loves you and your mom a lot!"
At that moment, a knock at the door made them turn. "Come in," Monica said.
"Dad!" Mike exclaimed jumping to his father’s neck immediately. "How’s mommy?"
"She’s sleeping now, big boy, but as soon as she wakes up, we’ll go to see her, ok? Now I need a word with your friend here..." Robert said smiling at the curious look in Monica’s eyes. "Do you think you’ll be able to travel like in five days?"
"Travel? Where?"
"What would you say about Brazzaville?"
The sparkle of happiness in the angel’s hazel brown eyes was undeniable: Brazzaville... The Congo... Andrew! "Are you saying that...?"
Robert nodded. "Ten doctors, three full hospital units leaving in three days. We’re going two days after ‘cause I want to be sure Mike, Alice and you are feeling better. Of course they are not going, but I guess nothing will keep you here..."
Monica smiled and shook her head enthusiastically, her eyes bright with tears. "No, I will go!"
"I knew it," Robert said. "I’ve already talked to a Sam... something. He said he knew you and Andrew and that nurse that was here... Tess. They are all waiting for you!"
"Robert... how did you get all that? Gloria told me you had had problems..."
"I learned my lesson in the hardest way, Monica. But yesterday, after I talked to you, I called the President directly. It took me a while but he accepted and gave a direct order to the Ministry of Health... I must admit your words made the difference," the man told her.
"My words?" the little angel asked.
"I saw the letter you’re writing for Andrew... And that made me remember I have someone to fight so hard for too, two ‘someone’s’ actually," he said kissing his son’s cheek. "Andrew is a very lucky guy, Monica. You are a real angel."
Monica blushed at his words, half for the compliment, half for the happiness to know she’d be seeing Andrew soon. "Thank you, Robert."
"Thanks to you!" the man smiled. "I’m leaving now. I have many things to do and you have to get as strong as possible in five days, ok?"
****
Five days seemed a very short time for Gloria and the remaining medical team that would join the first ten doctors that had already gone to Brazzaville. Once there, they had called Washington to give a full list of what they needed the most so the second team would take all that with them. Nearly a ton of medical supplies was already waiting in the special plane that would take Senator Grimsley and his team to The Congo to personally supervise the operations in the city.
Nevertheless, five days seemed eternal for one little angel that wanted nothing more but to be already in Brazzaville’s hospital and see her dearest friend. The news about going to meet Andrew had made Monica to recover quickly, eat better and be able to take longer walks along the hospital. She had gone to visit Alice and the woman had noticed the unmistakable spark of joy in her brown eyes. Finally the day of the departure had come and both Monica and Alice had said good bye, reassuring each other that the nightmare was really coming to an end.
It was late in the night when the noises of a big agitation made Andrew and Jack wake up. Two days before they had known that the so wanted international help had arrived and now apparently some more people had come.
"What’s all that?" Jack asked weakly. The man was now having some periods of lucidity mixed with longer ones of hallucinations due to the fever and the constant loss of blood.
Andrew climbed down his bed and walked to the plastic curtain that keep them isolated. As much as he tried, he couldn’t see but a slim part of the corridor and he couldn’t guess where the voices and the noises came from. "I don’t know..." the blond angel muttered standing on his tippy toes to try to see more. "Seems like there are more people coming..."
"What time is it, Andrew?"
"Almost eleven," he replied checking his golden pocket watch.
"If they are new doctors, don’t you think they’d wait until tomorrow?" the doctor reasoned.
"Unless..." the angel said, but suddenly a distant voice made his heart jump.
"Over the corner, that way, angel girl..." Tess’ voice indicated in the distance.
"Unless...?" Jack asked his friend when he noticed the state of expectation of the angel.
"Andrew!"
"Monica!"
Jack made a superior effort to sit up on his bed and looked at the blond angel with a bittersweet feeling of joy and sadness.
Monica had all but ran to the area where her beloved angel was and tears were now rolling down her pale cheeks, her small hand trying to touch Andrew’s over the thick plastic.
Her tears, her small hands, her trembling lips and especially her closeness were a physical ache for the blond angel that had tried to hold her even through the plastic but had found it frustratingly impossible. "Angel..." Andrew murmured tracing Monica’s cheek.
The little angel rested her head over the curtain to feel Andrew’s warm touch through it. "I’m here..." she repeated once and again. "I love you..."
"Don’t cry, baby," he whispered.
"I’m here, Andrew. I came to you..."
"Monica... if I only could hold you..."
It was almost one in the morning when Tess managed to convince her charge to go to the hotel and rest properly after the long trip.
Two days more passed with the same ritual: Monica spending long hours outside the curtain, so close and yet so far from Andrew. Jack observed them almost every time, sometimes seeing Louise and himself sharing that sweet unending chatting of the people in love. Doctors had refused to let Monica in the isolated area and it had broken Andrew’s heart to have to refuse to get out and leave Jack alone, but he knew his assignment still needed him there.
Finally, one afternoon, Jack surprised Andrew with his question. "Does God know I was so angry and hurting when I doubted Him, Andrew?"
"Yes, Jack, He did," the blond angel answered coming closer to him.
"He understands your heart just as He understands the heart of all His children..." Monica’s voice surprised both the man and the angel.
"You are an angel too!" the doctor whispered seeing her glowing.
"Yes, I am. And I’m here to tell you you’ve done something great with your life, Jack, you’ve done what many people wouldn’t be willing to do."
"I couldn’t help as many people as I wanted. Many died!"
"You helped as may people as you could. And you’ll still help them even if you’re not in this Earth anymore. Your example will be followed by many not only here but all around the world, and many people will live thanks to that," the little angel said.
"But I couldn’t make Louise happy..."
"You did make her happy. She met love with you. She found illusion for her life when even her closer relatives thought she was supposed to die soon because of the diabetes. She saw in you a honest and very devoted man who gladly offered her and every patient his very life. She still loves you and she’s waiting for the moment you’ll be together again."
"She still loves me?" Jack asked incredulously.
"Oh, yes!" Andrew answered blinking back the tears he had in her eyes after hearing Monica’s words. "When two people share a love as yours, death cannot separate them forever. Distance doesn’t mean separation... It’s just a way to make love grow stronger." He then took Monica’s hand and both released a sigh of contentment at the long awaited contact.
"Then I’m ready, Andrew..." Jack murmured and at that moment, the heart monitor that had been attached to him a couple of days ago started to beep frantically.
"Let’s go Home, Jack," the blond angel now all dressed in white told his friend offering him a hand. They still turned after a couple of steps and they saw Monica closing the eyes of the man’s body and nodding in agreement...
***
The big full moon seemed bigger than ever before with the mixed shadows of blue and yellow in contrast with the deep black sky of the desert and the dark golden of the sand that seemed to become one with the sky at the end. After seeing Andrew taking Jack to Heaven, Monica had gone to where her heart was calling her: the big Sahara. She was standing at the top of a high dune, the sand feeling still warm under her bare feet, the wind making her hair float over her shoulders like a delicate veil.
Andrew’s heart felt full of love at her sight, knowing she was finding renewed energies after the hard, faith-proving assignment they had just finished.
"I dreamed night after night with this moment," she said feeling him coming closer. "It was driving me crazy."
He wasted no time in holding her closer and leaned down to kiss her long. She sighed in relief when he finally allowed her to come for air, her hungry hands seeming not to have enough of running all the length of his back. "You can’t possibly know what this has been for me either," the blond angel said kissing every inch of her face. "I need you to live, angel. My heart is empty without you."
"But we were supposed to meet again, Andrew," she murmured against his lips, breathing in his warm breath.
"We are meant to be together forever, baby," he whispered closing his eyes and kissing her again. "Nothing’s gonna change that."

THE END

Somewhere under the desert's moon Chapter 8

2005-01-27T10:29:00.000-08:00

Hello, everyone!!!
This is the last chapter and it's just missing the epilogue. I hope you like it. Please, read and reply!

Chapter 8

"Louise was a nurse here in Brazzaville, in this very hospital," Jack’s voice woke up Andrew and made the blond angel to sit up a little and turn to face him. Jack was now lying on a bed next to the angel’s, sweating with the fever and his whole body aching a lot. An occasional drop of blood from his nose told him the end was coming. "I still remember the first time I saw her, standing at the door of the doctor’s lounge, telling me it was 6 o’clock and my shift had begun. It was an image I wanted to wake up with forever!"
Jack turned to see Andrew. The angel smiled and the man continued. "It took me a while to confess my love for her but at the end I did it. We dated for about a year, the happiest of my life."
"And then what happened?"
"It was the early 80’s when we didn’t know a lot about AIDS, about how you could get infected or about the risks you had when working with sick people. There was an accident not far from here. A school bus crashed and a little girl crashed against a window. The glass was stuck everywhere in her body, even in her face. It was so painful to see her! And she was just five years old. We started to work on her immediately but we couldn’t sedate her as her blood pressure was too low. She moved because of the pain and Louise cut her hand. We didn’t know but the girl had AIDS. Louise had diabetes and without a proper treatment, as there wasn’t any then, her health worsen quickly. We ran all kinds of tests on her and we got the results the day I was going to ask her to marry me."
"Did you still propose?" Andrew asked.
"Yes. All I wanted was to be able to call Louise my wife. But a few days before the wedding a sudden summer storm caught her on her way back home. She was very weak and she got fulminating pneumonia. Her mother took her to the hospital immediately but it was too late. She only make it through the night and died the following morning... three days before the wedding."
After Jack finished his story, Andrew remained silent for a minute, then he added, "And you blamed God for Louise’s death..."
"Who else could be?" the man answered. "It was only three days before she became my wife! Why couldn’t we make come truth what we wanted the most? Why did she had to get AIDS in the first place?"
"God didn’t give her AIDS, Jack, that was not His will. Louise got AIDS because she decided to help the little girl and it was a risk she decided to take..."
"But we didn’t know the girl had AIDS! That was not Louise’s choice!" Jack argued.
"It was even if she didn’t know about the AIDS. It was her choice to help her just as it was your choice to help the first patient you got with Ebola even before you knew it was indeed Ebola..." the angel explained.
"I had to help them. I’m a doctor, I’m here to help them and to try to safe their lives..."
"But you do know you risk to get sick ‘cause you never know what your next patient may have. That’s something all doctors and nurses know, and it is your choice to decide to take that risk and become a doctor or a nurse, or choose another profession."
"You’re right..." Jack accepted.
"I know you wanted to marry Louise and it’s terrible she died just three days before your wedding, but she was suffering, Jack, she was in a terrible pain when she got the pneumonia. As any father, God doesn’t want to see His children in pain and she was too sick to get well..."
"Are you telling me it was the best for her to die?"
"Being that sick and with no chances to get better... I think that you, as a doctor, know well enough when one of your patients has no chance to have a good quality of life anymore. Don’t you give them all kind of medicines to help them to bear the pain even when you know they’ll die in some hours or days at most?"
"Yes, I do..." the doctor accepted. "I’ve even thought the best for some of them would be to die as soon as possible... I mean, when they are too sick or too badly hurt."
"I know that, Jack, and God knows it even better. That’s why He knows when someone has to die... and He sends an angel to take them Home."
"An angel?" the man asked meeting Andrew’s gaze. "You mean there is an angel with every people who dies?"
"Yes, there is. Just as there was an angel with Louise and just as there will be one with you..."
"Andrew, how can you know that?" he asked still fighting to accept what his friend was telling him. "There is no proof of something like that! You can’t know for sure..."
"I know it, Jack, because I am one of those angels. I am an Angel of Death," Andrew said sitting on his bed.
"Yeah, right! You’re an angel and you are lying on a bed with an arm hurt and a big scar on your stomach!"
"When God sends His angels to Earth, we have to take human form to be able to reach you and make you trust us and trust Him. I know it’s weird to believe we can get hurt or sick, but He moves in mysterious ways and we all are instruments of His plan. Louise saw the truth before she died, an angel was by her side and took her to meet the Father when her time here was over, and she lives now in His presence..."
Jack could swear the man sitting on the bed next to his was the most human of the human beings, but there was something in his words that had finally reached his heart. Most important, the man wanted to believe what the angel was telling him, even when he hadn’t been magically healed or when there hadn’t been a sudden miracle in the room. What Jack was seeing in Andrew’s green eyes wasn’t the studied discourse of a fanatic but the most absolute and sincere truth, and that fact still scared him a lot. He was facing something he had tried to deny for years. "If you really are an angel, do something to make me believe it," the doctor asked in a defiant tone.
"You better believe him, Jack McKinney, because he is an angel and angels don’t lie," Tess’ strong voice filled the room and made Andrew turn to see her with a wide smile on his face.
"Tess!" Andrew exclaimed.
"Hello, Andy, how’s my angel boy doing?" the supervisor went to hug him.
"How did you get here?!" Jack asked very surprised. "None is supposed to get in here!"
"I don’t need a permission. I am an angel and a plastic curtain is nothing for me," Tess said and her white attire seemed to start to glow.
"Oh my...!" the man murmured almost speechless.
"Finish the sentence, Jack. ‘Oh, my God!’" the dark skinned angel told him. "Yes, there is a God and He’s sent an angel to be with you in these hard moments, so when the time comes you can go to Him with your heart clean of sorrow and pain, and full of joy and peace. He loves you. You can be sure of it, you can accept that and stop fighting with what your heart already believes."
Tess and Andrew had remained talking to Jack for a little while more until the man had drifted off to sleep. Sitting on Andrew’s bed, both angels were looking at him before the supervisor started to talk. "It’s good to see you back, angel boy."
"It’s good to be fine again! Though I should be mad at you..." he said in mock indignation.
"Mad at me?" Tess asked.
"Yeah! I almost kicked the bucket and you didn’t even bring me chocolates!" the blond angel joked crossing his arms over his chest and pouting as a spoiled little boy.
"Oh, you...!" the older angel said slapping him on the arm playfully and then hugging him again. When she released him, they turned to look at Jack again. "You’re doing a great job, baby. He’s a hard case."
"I wish Monica was here!" Andrew exclaimed. "She’d do a much better job than me!"
Tess smiled and met his gaze, easily reading what was in his green eyes. "She’s doing just fine, Andy. She really scared us, but she was awake and talking when I left her."
"I’m dying to see her, Tess. You can’t imagine what these days have been for me, knowing she was sick and we were so far from each other..."
"I know and the Father knows, but I’m sure you’ll be together again very soon and this won’t be but a very bad dream..."
He reached to take the supervisor’s hand and squeezed it. "Yes, I know... I just want to wake up as soon as possible."
****
Washington 4:00 p.m. Two days later
Gloria got into Monica’s room pushing a wheel chair and the Irish angel couldn’t help but look at her questioningly. "It’s for you," the young angel explained. "I guess you’ll want to use it as soon as I tell you what happened an hour ago."
"What?" Monica asked.
"Mike woke up. He’s conscious now, he has no fever and he’s even trying to eat."
"Oh, God! That’s wonderful news!" the Irish angel exclaimed with eyes bright with joy. "I want to see him!"
"I know, let me help you."
Mike, as well as Monica, had been moved to a normal room now, and the boy was obediently eating a chicken soup under the attentive look of a nurse, when the two angels came in.
"Hello, Mike. This is my friend Monica," Gloria told him. "She was the first doctor to see you when you came in here, and she wanted to see you."
"Can’t you walk?" the little boy asked innocently when he saw the Irish angel on the chair.
"No, I can walk, Mike. It’s just that I was sick and I get tired easily," Monica explained.
"I know. I was sick too and I also feel tired", he said reaching to take Monica’s arm. She looked at his little hand and saw how thin it was after so many days sick and how big the bruise around his veins was after so many IV’s. "Did you have what I had?"
"Seems so..." Monica replied.
"Don’t worry, you’re gonna be ok," he said now stroking the angel’s auburn hair as if she was the kid and he the grown person. "The worst part is over and God is watching you."
Monica smiled at the boy’s words. "Thank you, Mike. I know God was watching over both of us during these days."
The boy smiled back at her and then lowered his head. "Is my mommy going to be alright?"
Monica cupped his chin to make him see her. "She’s still fighting, sweetheart. We have to keep on praying for her..."
"Can I see my dad? I don’t want him to be mad at me anymore..."
"No, Mike, he was not mad!" Monica told the boy. She made a big effort to stand up from the chair and take a seat on the bed to hug him.
"He was mad at my mommy too..."
"You know? Sometimes people who love each other do some things that end up hurting the ones they love even when that was not their intention. But real love can heal that hurting and your dad loves you and your mom a lot!"
"Can you tell him to come and see me?"
"He’s working, honey, but I’ll call him and ask him to come as soon as possible, ok? I promise he’ll come," Monica said and smiled at seeing the boy’s eyes full of hope.
"Thank you," Mike murmured.
"You’re more than welcome," she said hugging him again.
****
Washington 7:00 p.m.
Being as active as she’s always been, Monica was having a hard time staying in bed most of the time. She was taking now short walks along the corridor, but the truth was that she got tired after a few steps and she certainly couldn’t go back to work like this. Gloria had brought her a CD player and some slow, romantic songs that were almost drifting her off to sleep. Besides, after being with Mike, she had insisted on going check on Alice and then call to Robert’s office, but his secretary had informed he was in a reunion with other members of the Senate. She had decided she’d wait for him to come, so in the mean time she was trying to write a letter for Andrew.
"Come in," she said suppressing a yawn when she heard a knock in the door.
"Good night, Monica," Robert greeted her. "You look much better today."
"Thanks, Robert. I feel much better."
"Michel Bolton, huh?" the man said taking the box of the CD Gloria had left playing. "It’s one of Alice’s favorites too..."
"Robert," Monica started, "I called you precisely to talk about Alice and Mike. Have you seen him?"
"No. I... can’t find the courage to face him," the man said obviously ashamed.
"He thinks you’re mad at him and that you don’t love him anymore because of something he might have done wrong..."
"No! It’s not his fault! It would never be!"
"Then tell him, Robert! Don’t tell me you don’t love him because you do! I know you spent these nights in your office, alone, almost without sleeping because you couldn’t bare your house alone, without Mike’s laughter or Alice’s music. I know more than once you lifted your face and gulped hard at the very thought of facing the rest of your life without them..."
"How do you know it?" the senator asked very surprised.
"I know it, Robert. I can see it in your eyes."
"I did it..." he said closing his eyes, a tear crossing his cheek. "I wouldn’t know how to live without them... but I don’t know how to live with that lie..."
"You’re not living with a lie now. You’re living with a truth. And that truth has come from love, from the love you feel for your son and from the love you feel for your wife..." the little angel told him clearly fighting to remain awaken.
"How do I face them? How do I tell Mike he’s not my son but I love him anyway? How do I tell Alice I forgive her and that she has to forgive me if she..." Robert took a deep breath "...if she’s still in danger and I can’t get in and touch her, kiss her as I’d like to do?"
"One step at a time..." Monica reached her hand and he took it. "Mike is fine, he’s recovering, and he needs you, he needs the loving father he’s always had in you..."
"I don’t even dare to think Alice might..."
Monica squeezed his hand reassuringly. "I can’t tell you if she’s going to live, but I can tell you to trust God with her life. He can heal the sickest body and mend the most hurting heart, and even if He called her to His side... I can promise you you’ll see her in Heaven one day..."
Robert cleared his tears away before he could respond. "I want to trust Him, Monica, but I’m so afraid of what I’d do alone!"
"I know that, Robert, believe me... I’ve wondered the same after what happened with me and Andrew..." the Irish angel said.
"Oh, yes... Your friend Gloria told me he was in The Congo and had had an accident..." He saw Monica’s eyes shining with a sudden spark of pain. "But you’ll be together soon again, I’m sure."
"And so will you... with your family. I’m sure..."
Seeing the little angel was fighting not to sleep, Robert decided it was better for him to go. "I’ll let you sleep, Monica."
"Promise you’ll go see Mike?"
"Yeah..." he murmured wondering how could be someone so interested in the others even when she was barely recovering from a terrible disease.
Monica saw him going out and reached to take the notebook where the letter for Andrew was. She started to read it again, but the lyrics of the song that was now playing called her attention and she closed her eyes to listen to it... little by little surrendering to sleep.
I talk to you but its not the same as touchin' youAnd every time you whisper my name, I wanna run to youWe'll be together, it won't be long, it won't be longBut it feels like forever, and its hard to be strong
Monica was asleep when Robert opened her door again. He had come back to ask her if she wanted him to call to Brazzaville to know how Andrew was doing, but he realized she was too tired to wake her up. He noticed the song and listened for a little while, smiling at how oddly appropriate it seemed...
Baby 'cause I'm missing you nowAnd its drivin' me crazyHow I'm needin' you babyI'm missing you now
Can't wait till I'm alone with youTo show you how I'm missing you now
Robert noticed the notebook in Monica’s hand and took it to place it on the nightstand, but a line of the letter called his attention and he read it...
*
At the same time, Andrew woke up with the first rays of light of a new day. Someone at the nurses station had turned on a radio and the angel listened to the song that was being played, his thoughts immediately going to a certain little angel he missed so much...
Wishin' you were here by my side is all that I can doGot my arms around my pillow at night, they should beholdin' youThought I was stronger, how could I know, how couldI knowI can't take this much longer, its so hard on my soul
Baby 'cause I'm missing you nowAnd its drivin' me crazyHow I'm needin' you babyI'm missing you now
Can't wait till I'm alone with youTo show you how I'm missing you now
Baby I just can't wait, till I see your faceChase away this loneliness insideWhen you're close to my heart, right here in my armsThen and only then, will I be satisfiedI'm missing you now
I know
We'll be together, it won't be long, it won't be longBut it feels like forever, and its hard to be strong
Baby 'cause I'm missing you nowAnd its drivin' me crazyHow I'm needin' you babyI'm missing you now
Can't wait till I'm alone with youTo show you how I'm missing you now

(Missing you now by Michel Bolton and Kenny G)

Somewhere under the desert's moon chapter 7

2005-01-20T14:42:00.000-08:00

Hello, everyone!!!
I promise suffering will be over soon! Please, read and review!

Chapter 7

Washington DC, 3:00 p.m. Two days after
"Ok, Tess, your turn," Gloria told the older angel getting into Monica’s room. "You really need to eat something."
"I’ll be back in a minute, Miss Wings," Tess told Monica taking her small hand and patting it lovingly. "Did you get Andrew, baby?"
"No, Tess," Gloria said and she saw hope leaving the older angel’s eyes. "And it is strange. Sam keeps telling me he hasn’t been able to tell him but he insists Andrew is ok... Something’s wrong, I’m feeling so."
"I also feel that, baby," the supervisor said meeting the younger angel’s worried eyes and then turning to see Monica. "Had Andrew know about her, he’d be here already no matter what... Don’t leave her a second, Gloria," she said before leaving the room.
But when the older angel came back, she saw her out of the room talking to someone who she couldn’t see clearly. "Gloria, why are...? Hello, baby!" Tess exclaimed and went to hug the angel of death.
"Hullo, Tess, it’s so good to see you!"
"Definitely yes! But what are you doing here?"
"I came to see Monica," Adam said. "I got a direct order..." he pointed indicating the sky with his thumb.
"Where’s Andrew?" the supervisor asked confused.
"That’s what Adam was telling me, Tess," Gloria interrupted. "He... hum... he couldn’t come..."
Tess turned to see Adam. "He had an accident, Tess," he explained ad then proceeded to tell them the whole story.
"This has to be a nightmare!" the dark skinned angel said and looked up at the sky. "Father, I know Your plan is always wise, but right now I can’t understand it!"
"There’s another reason why I’m here, "Adam told her. "With Andrew sick there... the Father wants you to go cover his place."
The older angel opened her mouth to argue but said nothing. Then she looked away for some seconds before closing her eyes, and sighed heavily. "Of course, baby. I’ll be ready."
****
Jack was dozing off due to the hot temperature of the room and the high fever he had already gotten. He knew what was to come so he refused to get any medicines even to ease his symptoms, as they might be more useful to the other patients. All the supplies he had asked for were for Andrew. After two days, the angel’s condition had remained stable, yet he hadn’t woken up.
It was a weak moan what made Jack stand up with a jump and practically run to his friend’s bed. "Andrew?" the doctor asked.
The blond angel moaned again and Jack quickly checked his vitals. "Jack?" Andrew asked in a very low voice fighting to open his eyes.
"Yes, Andrew! Good you’re awakening!"
"What happened?"
"You scared the death out of us, pal!" the doctor said checking on his friend’s pupils.
Andrew blinked a couple of times and then he remembered. "Monica!" he shouted and tried to get up, but a sharp pain in his stomach made him lay down again. "Aargh!"
"Easy there!" Jack told him. "You’ve just gotten out of a surgery! Where do you think you’re going?"
"Jack! Monica? What happened to her?!"
"She’s sick, Andrew," the doctor told him and saw the deep pain in the angel’s green eyes. "As far as I know, she was found with a high fever but she’s not bleeding. Your friend Adam has gone there to see her."
"No, Father, please!" Andrew murmured looking away and feeling his heart heavier than ever.
Jack saw him and felt really sorry for him. He didn’t know what to say, he knew he had to tell Andrew about him getting infected and about the possibility of him getting sick too but that was not the right moment. The angel was hurting for the woman he loved... just as he had hurt years ago.
The next morning the angel was feeling way much better. He and Jack had taken their breakfast and Andrew was now sitting and leaning against the headboard of his bed, trying to forget the pain in the right side of his abdomen. "Your intestine is working just fine," Jack said with the stethoscope still over the angel’s stomach.
"I guess it will start complaining of hunger in a few hours again," the blond angel joked.
"It’s good to see you in such a good mood," the doctor said and then proceeded to examine the scar of the surgery. It was when Andrew felt the high temperature of the man.
"Jack, you’re burning!"
Jack put away the stethoscope and took a chair before talking to the angel. "Andrew, I wasn’t completely honest with you when I told you it was just a precaution that we were isolated. Do you remember Nikki, the monkey that welcomed us in Impfondo?" The angel nodded. "He died... of Ebola."
Now it was Andrew’s turn to be speechless: Jack was telling him he was going to die!
"I know I’m not gonna make it, Andrew," the man said. "The infection is a 100% sure, he bit me and he made me bleed. The fever started yesterday and my body is aching now. But you have a chance, buddy. I was really careful when I operated you and when I stopped the bleeding back there at the jungle, my hand wasn’t bleeding anymore..."
The truth hit Andrew hard but he understood easily, and at the end the certainty of the Father’s word in his heart told him what his assignment was: he would escort Jack Home, a man that had willingly risked his life for long weeks now to help the people there. The only question he had was why he had come to his assignment so soon. "There’s nothing to be afraid, Jack," Andrew told him. "Death is not an ending but a beginning..."
The man snorted ironically. "Save the religious discourse, Andrew. I don’t believe in Heaven. I think when it’s over, it’s over."
"Are you ready to know the truth, Jack?" the angel insisted knowing now what his assignment was. "Are you ready to acknowledge there’s a God and a Heaven and you’ll be seeing Him soon?"
"Andrew, how can you still believe there is a God after what you’ve seen here?" the doctor said disgustedly. "After what’s happening to you? After what’s happening to Monica? How could I believe in a loving God when He took away from me what I loved the most in the world and let me live alone and grieving forever?"
"It is not God’s will for you to suffer, Jack, and it is not His will that I had that accident and that Monica may be infected. He is with us right now and He is with her too..."
"Too naive!" the doctor said.
"Nope. It is the truth and you’ll see it soon," the angel said. "I’ve seen it. Death is not the end."
"What would you do if Monica died, Andrew?" Jack asked with anger, thinking he’d touched a especially sensitive cord in his friend’s heart and that he wouldn’t argue then.
"I trust God to do what is the best for her..."
"You mean you don’t mind if she dies? I thought you said you were in love!"
"I am in love, Jack, and I do care if she dies! But I also care about her suffering, the pain she must be going through and I don’t want that for her at all."
"Aren’t you dying to see her again? To hold her and kiss her? If you were as in love as I was..."
"Of course I’m longing to see her, Jack! And of course I’m worrying to death about her, but I also know I have to trust God with her life!"
"No, Andrew, you’re not in love! When you are and the person you love the most is dying, your whole world is dying with her! You don’t want her far away in Heaven, you want her in your arms!" the doctor was pacing furiously along the little room.
"That sounds very selfish, you know?"
"Love is selfish! Love is when a woman becomes your world and your only truth, and all you know is her presence in your life as the most certain thing of all! And what you want is that certainty, to be sure about when you’ll have her back where she belongs: by your side!"
"Jack, I know I’ll see Monica again," the angel said calmly.
"When? Where? In Washington? Here in Brazzaville? Or in the middle of the Sahara?" Jack asked sarcastically.
Andrew knew the man was taking out a deep pain he had kept in his heart and he didn’t want to fight him, so when the angel heard the last part of the man’s question, he smiled and joked to ease the mood. "Hum... Not a bad idea. Monica loves the desert, especially a spot in the Colorado’s Canyon. I’m sure she’ll love to see the Sahara..."
Jack couldn’t help but chuckle at the angel’s reply, and felt his raising anger stop. Seeing his assignment relax, Andrew prepared a last talking. "I don’t know when or where I’m seeing Monica again, Jack, but I know I will. That was God’s promise when He sent us in different ways... and it was His promise to you too. Monica and I will be together again someday... here, in Washington... or somewhere under the desert’s moon."
Jack met the angel’s green eyes and the sincerity he saw there left him no place for more arguing. Instead he nodded and then moved to his bed and lay there in silence, Andrew’s words still weighing in his heart.
****
Tess and Adam came into Monica’s room in the morning after a night of good sleep. Gloria had insisted the older angel needed to rest as she was going to work hard in Africa. "Good morning, baby," she greeted Gloria with her muffled voice under the surgical mask. "How is she doing?"
"Her vitals keep on being stable," the angel answered. "The fever is low now and her heart beat is back to normal."
"Oh, Miss Wings, I wish you were awaken before I go..." Tess said stroking her forehead.
As if her wish was accomplished by a genius, in that moment Monica stirred and tried to open her eyes. "She’s awakening!" Adam exclaimed.
"Baby? Monica?" Tess and Gloria said at the same time each in a side of her bed.
"Tess..." Monica murmured still fighting not to sleep again.
"Oh, Father, thank you!" the older angel said deeply moved.
"You had us really worried, Monica," Gloria said resting a hand on her supervisor’s shoulder, her eyes bright with tears.
"Thanks God you’re back!"
"What happened?" the Irish angel asked. "What happened with Mike and Alice?"
"They are ok, baby," Tess answered taking her small hand between hers. "They are still fighting. But I found you in your office burning in fever. You’ve been here for almost four days now."
"You’re a strong fighter, Monica," Adam said coming closer to his friend too. "We were all very worried."
"Thanks, Adam," the little angel answered now more conscious. "Where... where’s Andrew?"
Gloria and Tess turned to see him and he didn’t know what to do for a moment. He couldn’t tell her Andrew was ok, he couldn’t lie! But he didn’t want to make her suffer more... He met Tess’ gaze and he knew he had to tell her the truth. "He... he couldn’t come, Monica."
"Why?"
"He... had an accident."
"What?!" the little angel asked trying to sit up, but Tess and Gloria stopped her. "No, no, Father, please!"
"He’s ok, Monica! He was operated and he’ll be ok!" the angel of death assured her.
"Operated? But why? Where is he?!" Monica said starting to cry.
Some time later, when she had fully regained consciousness and has calmed down after knowing about her beloved friend, Adam helped the little angel to sit on her bed. Gloria had gone to check on Monica’s patients and Tess was giving instructions to the nurses that would take her place, so Adam had taken the opportunity to talk to his friend and keep her company while she ate a little of Jell-O and tea. "I called to Brazzaville today in the morning. Sam told me Andrew woke up yesterday too," Adam said.
"Do they know already if he’s been infected?" she asked.
"The first results didn’t show the presence of the virus, but Jack has fever already."
"Poor him! This is such a hard way of dying, so painful and there’s nothing you can do to help..."
"Yeah... And back there is worse... You just have to turn and see the one beside you to see what will happen to you."
They stayed in silence for some minutes, Monica taking small spoons of Jell-O. Adam studied her carefully, knowing that as bad as she may be feeling, she was fighting with her human form to be able to go back to the people that needed her the most. "Andrew misses you a lot," he said finally breaking the silence.
Monica met his gaze and smiled, her eyes shining with the special bright Andrew brought to them. "I miss him too, Adam. Though I saw him the other day... when my heart was failing and I guess when he had the accident, we were going Home but then I got the word to come back..."
"I’ve seen so many people die, but I never thought angels could die too," he commented.
"You know? I’m not sure if we were dying, Adam," Monica said. "We know the spirit doesn’t die, and ours can’t die either. I guess it was just our human form..."
"Human form or not, you really scared us!" Adam chuckled. "Maybe we’ve spent too much time on Earth recently and we’re starting to share humans fears now!"
"That’s not bad for an angel... Understand human fears and help them go over them..."
Adam smiled seeing the old Monica was back, the tender, caring angel she had always been. At that moment, Tess came back to the room. "All right, Adam, I’m ready."
"Whenever you want, Tess," he said standing up.
"Are you going somewhere?" Monica asked somewhat scared.
"Baby," the older angel said coming closer and taking her hand, "the Father has called me to go to The Congo and take Andrew’s place until he’s fully recovered. I didn’t want to go until you were awaken, but you’re better now and I’m needed there..." She took a seat on the bed and pulled the little angel in a loving hug. "You’ll have to stay and concentrate on getting well soon, Monica. You still have an assignment here..."
"Who’s gonna give me advice?" Monica asked with the tone of a little girl.
The older angel couldn’t help but chuckle. "You stopped needing my advice long ago, Miss Wings! You’re capable of handling everything by yourself!"
"But I’m gonna miss you, Tess."
"I’m gonna miss you too, but we’ll be meeting soon again. Meanwhile I’m gonna check on Andrew, and I’ll tell him how much you miss him."
"Tell him I love him," the Irish angel asked.
"And he loves you a lot too!" Adam interrupted and he handled her a little velvet bag. "He brought this for you the day we arrived to Brazzaville."
Monica took the bag and opened it revealing the silver necklace the blond angel had gotten for her. Two big tears rolled down her cheeks and she pressed the necklace against her chest. "Thank you, Adam. Please, take care of him and Tess."
"I will, Monica," he said leaning down to kiss her cheek. "We need to go now.
Tess hugged her charge again and then walked to Adam’s side. "We’ll be waiting for you, baby," the supervisor said. "We love you and we trust you."
Monica nodded and saw them disappear.

Somewhere under the desert's moon Chapter 6

2005-01-13T13:22:00.000-08:00

Chapter 6

"Let’s go Home, sweetheart," Andrew told Monica taking her small hand. The little angel nodded and started to walk with him, but after a few steps she stopped.
"I can’t Andrew," she said sadly.
He held her tightly and buried his face in her hair. "I can’t see you suffering," he murmured with pain in his voice.
"I have to go back," she explained fighting her tears.
He let go on his hold and leaned down to kiss her one more time, a long kiss full of longing and pain. "I love you. I’ll be waiting for you," was all he could say also fighting a tear that longed to escape his eye.
"She’s back!" Gloria exclaimed when she saw Monica’s heart monitor beeping again. "We have a rhythm!"
"Thank you, Father!" Tess murmured through her tears and went to stroke Monica’s forehead. "Angel girl, don’t do this again!" she warned her.
Gloria stepped back and saw the supervisor talking to the Irish angel, and then turned to see the other doctors that were now taking away the equipment they had used to give Monica electroshocks after her heart had failed.
"The next 72 hours will be critical," one of them told Gloria. "If she’s infected but doesn’t start to bleed, she may have a chance to make it."
"The results of the test don’t show any signs of the virus, yet the symptoms are there," the angel said.
"I really hope she doesn’t have it," the doctor said closing her file. "One week without cases was very good but this should remind us that we are not out of danger yet."
Gloria came closer to Tess and Monica after the doctors and the nurses had left the little angel stabilized and all set. "She really scared us," she commented.
"Father, she has to be all right," the dark skinned angel said still crying.
Gloria went to hug her moved by her tears. "We’ll pray for her, Tess. She has so many things to do! We need her here!"
****
By the time Gloria and Tess were still by Monica’s bed, Henry, Rafael, Adam and two men were working non-stop to take an angel and a doctor out of the gorge where an accident had taken them. Jack had descended to rescue Andrew and had found him unconscious, his left arm dislocated and a big branch stuck in his abdomen. Evaluating the seriousness of his injuries, the doctor had ordered the men that had come with Henry to go to the town and get a small plane ready to take them back to Brazzaville as soon as possible. Finally, after one long hour, Jack guided up an improvised stretcher where Andrew laid badly hurt.
"Adam, Rafael, get up in the jeep and make sure he stays still!" the doctor ordered the two angels while he placed his own shirt around the branch in the blond angel’s stomach and Henry took the driver’s place.
Soon they arrived to where the plane was waiting for them. Jack found an IV to fight the loss of blood and managed to stop the bleeding. "How long do we have?" Rafael asked helping the doctor to hang the bag inside the plane.
"That bag is his very life right now," he said meeting the young angel’s worried eyes. "We have to arrive in less than two hours!"
****
"Is she infected?" Robert asked Gloria when he saw the young angel coming along the hallway of the isolated area that was now so familiar to him.
"We don’t know," she replied looking through the window at Tess seated by Monica’s side. "We’re running a second test to make sure..."
"Of all the people that had been working here, she’s the one that least deserved this."
"Mr. Grimsley, none deserved to get sick," Gloria argued. "This is a tragedy, not a divine punishment or something like that."
"It much feels like one," he commented.
"But it is not! God doesn’t send diseases to punish His children! He’s hurting to see so many dying and suffering! And He is helping us even if we may think things are too complicated! He sends us the people we need by our side and He will certainly see us through all this at the end!"
Somewhat surprised by Gloria’s certainty, Robert didn’t argue. He felt himself in debt with a woman that had been so patient with him even when he had been quite mean to her, and he certainly wanted to do something for the Irish angel that he could see now lying at the other side of the window. "Does Monica have a family?" he asked genuinely concerned. "Where are they? I could see them coming here with a special driver or a private plane."
Gloria shook her head. "Tess is almost a mother for her, that’s why she won’t leave her."
"Isn’t she married?" he continued. "Or maybe a boyfriend... She was calling an Andrew when we found her."
"Andrew, yes! I’m sure she’ll love to have him here but..."
"Tell me where he is!" Robert said, but his expectations disappeared when he heard Gloria’s answer.
"He’s in The Congo."
****
The doors of the OR opened with a noisy slam when Jack got in with Adam and Rafael pushing Andrew’s stretcher. The IV bag was dripping its last drops but the people at Brazzaville’s hospital were ready to help the blond angel. "Give him two units of O negative immediately and get him ready for surgery. I’ll go get ready too!" the doctor ordered.
Adam, Rafael and Henry saw their coworker disappear behind the door and they felt awfully helpless once they were there.
"I could hardly believe this when I heard it!" Ronald said coming closer to them with Sam at his side. "Oh, my! Is it that bad news are never going to end?" he said pessimistically.
"Everything seems so unreal!" Adam commented. "First Monica, now Andrew... I wonder if there has been something similar before."
"How’s Monica?" Rafael asked.
"Last news were that they took her out of a heart failure," Sam informed them. "Gloria called wanting to know if we had contacted Andrew. I didn’t want to tell her anything about the accident until I was sure of what had happened. I think she and Tess have enough with Monica right now."
Time thickened for the angels while they waited for news about their friend. All of them had to go back to their work as the number of new cases had kept on being regular and the hospital was still crowded. Almost three hours later, Rafael and Adam went back to the surgery ward to ask about Andrew and found one of the doctors that had helped Jack.
"He’s still in critical condition, he lost a lot of blood and the branch went through the upper part of his liver. Fortunately it didn’t touch his kidneys or his lungs, otherwise we wouldn’t be talking now," the doctor informed them.
"Where is he now?" Adam asked.
"He’s about to be moved," he said and in that moment, they saw two men nurses moving him, all covered with the special suit they had been using to handle the sickest people.
"What?!" Rafael asked when they saw them taking him to an improvised isolated area by the recovery ward.
"He will be isolated now," the doctor barely explained. "Excuse me," he said and left them without more explanation.
Rafael and Adam looked at each other not understanding at all. When they turned to see if there was someone else who could give them more information, they saw Ronald and Sam coming to them with a somber expression.
"Now what?" Adam asked exasperatedly.
Sam lifted his head showing him to turn towards the isolated area. Jack was walking to get in there too, a nurse perfectly protected handling him some medical supplies and then making sure the plastic curtain that will keep the angel and the doctor separated from the rest of the hospital was perfectly sealed. The two younger angels turned to see them with no clue at all about what had happened in front of them.
"Isolated?" Rafael finally asked.
"Yes," Sam answered. "Raymond Mberi called while Jack was operating Andrew. He found Nikki bleeding through the mouth and the eyes. The monkey died about an hour ago..."
"Oh, no, Jack!" Rafael exclaimed. "Nikki bit him when he tried to get my cap back!"
"He’s infected," Ronald said. "He knows that."
"But Andrew?" Adam asked.
"Jack touched Andrew’s blood and he operated him," Sam explained. "He fears a possible exchange of fluids, and if that has happened... Andrew is infected as well."

Somewhere under the desert's moon Chapter 5

2005-01-07T08:20:00.000-08:00

Hello, everybody!! Happy New Year!!
I'm back to continue with this story. Hold on to it, I promise it will be worth waiting!

Chapter 5

Washington 11:00 p.m. One week later
"Oh, Andrew, how I wish you were here with me," the little Irish angel murmured looking at the star filled sky Andrew loved so much in the balcony of the hospital. A single tear crossed her cheek and she wiped it away distractedly still thinking about her beloved blond angel that was so far from her now.
"Monica?" Gloria’s voice made her turn and forget her silent meditations. "Are you ok?"
"Yes, Gloria, I’m fine..." she answered cleaning her last tears.
"Any news from Andrew and the others?"
"No," Monica replied looking down. "It’s been a week since they went to the jungle and I haven’t gotten a word from them."
"But it’s been also a week without more cases," Gloria added. "I wonder if it is finally the ending..."
"I hope so too... I just can imagine how desperate their families must be feeling."
"You’re right. It must be horrible to be fearing if your beloved ones are dying or not..." the younger angel said adjusting her gown around herself at a sudden and chill blow of wind. Only then she noticed Monica wasn’t wearing hers. "Aren’t you cold, Monica?"
"It’s pretty hot tonight, isn’t it?" she replied and then turned to face her friend. Gloria saw the sweat drops shinning on her forehead.
"Oh, my God! Are you alright?" the angel asked touching her forehead. "You’ve got a fever!"
"I’m fine..." the Irish angel argued weakly. "I’ve gotta go check on Alice," and then disappeared on the hallway.
Meanwhile Tess reached Robert, who was leaning over the window of the isolated room where now his whole family was fighting against death. "When did they let you know?" the dark skinned angel asked a man that barely resembled to the proud senator that had denied help to Monica.
"The people from my office just told me day before yesterday. I came as soon as I could."
"Now do you believe what Monica told you?"
"Yes..." he accepted with aching regret in his voice. "But it’s too late."
"It’s never too late to do the right thing, baby... especially when big apologies are needed. Alice told Monica everything about you and Mike," the older angel explained to the unspoken question she saw in his eyes. "You do love Alice and you do love your son."
"Mike is not my son."
"Yes, he is," Tess argued. "He’s always been your son from the very moment you thought of him like that and you started to love him that way."
"But he doesn’t have my blood!" he shouted.
"Now listen to me, Robert Grimsley," Tess said in her commanding tone. "A father is not necessarily the one that gives life but the one that raises a child to become a good man. St. Joseph and Jesus are a good example! What you have with Mike is something that can’t be broken that easily. It’s a shame it has cost you so much to realize it."
"Even if I accept that, it won’t serve of much! I can’t do anything!"
"What do you mean by you can’t do anything? Weren’t you having a meeting with other Health Ministers?"
"Yes, but they won’t send any help to The Congo. It’s too late".
"Why?"
"Because they consider that the priority is national security and with all the 40 cases and the 5 deaths confirmed here, they don’t want any of the experts in these viruses away from here," Robert said finally meeting Tess’ eyes.
"You mean that all the people out there in Africa will keep on waiting for...?" the angel couldn’t continue.
"...for help that will never arrive? Yes."
"Jesus help us!" Tess couldn’t help but exclaim. But when she was about to ask for more, she saw Gloria coming to her with a worried expression.
"Senator Grimsley," she greeted. "Tess, I’m glad I’ve found you."
"What is it, baby?" the dark skinned angel asked fearing what as to come.
"It’s Monica... I’m afraid she has a fever..."
"What?! Monica?!" Tess and Robert asked at the same time and almost ran to her office, Gloria right at their heels.
"Angel girl, are you there?!" Tess knocked at her door. When she got no answer, she opened the door and ran to her charge.
"Monica, are you alright?" Robert asked.
Monica was leaning over her desk, her head resting on her arms. She seemed to be asleep and didn’t respond to Robert and Tess’ callings. The older angel touched her forehead. "She’s burning with fever!" she screamed when she felt Monica’s temperature. "We need to take her to a room immediately!"
"Andrew..." the little angel murmured.
"Shh... shh, angel baby, you’ll be alright," Tess said stroking her hair.
"Andrew..."
"I think she’s calling someone," Robert offered feeling himself very useless at the moment.
"Andrew, please come..."
"He will, baby," Tess said holding Monica’s head against her chest and brushing her damp strands of hair away of her face. "But now you have to get better soon, sweetie, you have to!"
****
Impfondo, 11:00 a.m. The next day
"All right now, let’s start descending him," Jack ordered to Adam, Rafael and two other men that were helping him to guide a line from where Andrew was hanging. They had been tracking the earlier cases of Ebola and had found out it had been a monkey the first to be sick and to die for it. Even more they had found some dead monkeys in the jungle and in a cavern over a big cliff, and Jack had insisted on collecting samples to analyze them. Andrew had offered to go pick them.
"Easy, guys!" Jack shouted. "Andrew, you have to help us maintain your weight by walking over the rocks and then letting the rope go out little by little, ok? Like that, yes, go on...!" the dark skinned man directed him.
The blond angel was already hanging about 10 feet when the sound of a car coming closer interrupted them. "Hey, watch out!" Jack told the men when he saw them turning to see a jeep. "Andrew, are you ok?"
"Yeah, I’m fine!" the angel shouted from the cliff.
"Then keep on descending! We need the samples for today!"
Still, Adam and Rafael turned too when they saw Henry getting out of the jeep and running to them. "Good we found you fast! Where’s Andrew?" the angel for special cases asked.
"Down there, why?" Adam asked.
"What’s going on?" Andrew asked when he noticed they were not helping him to descend now.
"What’s happening, Henry?" Rafael asked noticing the angel’s concern.
"It’s Monica," he answered flatly. "I’m afraid she..."
"What?!"
"No way!" Rafael and Adam exclaimed at the same time. "Monica cannot be infected!" the angel of death said.
Andrew couldn’t hear all the conversation but he heard Adam’s last words. "What?" he asked incredulously. "Oh, no, Monica no!" he said and he decided to get up immediately. But by not telling the others, they were not prepared for the change in the pulling ropes so they tripped and released their holding. "Aaaaaaaargh!" they heard Andrew screaming.
"Andrew!!!" Jack, Henry, Adam and Rafael shouted at the same time and ran to the border of the cliff. Before they arrived they heard the sound of Andrew’s body hitting the soil and the shout of pain from the angel.
"There he is!" said one of the other men that were working with them. Andrew was lying at the bottom of the gorge, his left arm in an awkward angle in respect to his body. He had been wearing a white shirt which was now all covered in dust and blood.
The next thing the angel knew was that he was standing in the middle of a beautiful forest. He could hear not too far from there the sound of a stream and everything around just smelled good, like fresh rain in a hot day. He inhaled deeply and the scent brought a sense of relief and peace to his heart. He then felt a pair of small hands slipping around his waist and the weight of a head resting on his back.
"I’ve been waiting for you," Monica’s soft voice told him.
He turned in her arms so he could hold her tightly too, only then realizing they were both dressed in white. "I’ve missed you," he said simply and leaned down to kiss her with abandon. "Let’s go Home," he suggested when they parted and they started to walk hand in hand.

Somewhere under the desert's moon Chapter 4

2004-12-19T18:01:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas to all!!!
May God fill you life with love and hope, and the best things to come for you!

Chapter 4
Brazzaville 9:00 p.m.
The sound of the crickets filled the hot air of the city and the moon and the stars seemed to keep an eye over a place so full of pain the last days. Jack walked towards a lonely figure who was sitting over a big rock on the country yard of the hotel.
"Nice," the doctor said looking at a silver necklace. "Is it for someone special for you?"
"Yes."
"A girlfriend maybe? ‘Cause I can take you to a place where you can find small diamonds, good price," Jack added taking a seat at his side.
"Thanks, Jack... I’ll appreciate that."
"What’s her name?"
"Monica," the blond angel of death answered. "Her name’s Monica."
"The one that is supposed to help us? I understand now why you talk about her the way you do it!"
"The way any of us would talk about her," Rafael told the doctor coming closer with Adam and Ronald.
"You all know her?"
"Oh, yes!" Adam replied. "We’ve all known her for years."
"But you don’t need to know her for years to learn to admire her," Ronald explained. "I’m probably the one that has spent less time with them and I still admire her job a lot!"
"You seem to be a very lucky guy, Andrew," Jack said patting his shoulder. "I used to think that way about myself but... life is not always fair... Sometimes is very cruel, I’d say." The four angels saw him standing up and walking away and knew there was much more behind those words.
After some moments of silence, Adam took a seat beside his co-worker and asked him, "Did you tell her we’re going into the jungle?"
"Yes, I talked to her in the afternoon..."
"Why am I under the impression there’s something you’re worrying about?" the older angel of death said.
"I... yes, Adam... I’m worried. Something very weird happened today. When we were talking, Monica sneezed."
"Sneezed?" Rafael asked. "You mean a real sneeze?"
"Yeah!" the green eyed angel exclaimed.
"Come on, Andrew! You’re not thinking..." Adam started.
"Oh, no, that’s not possible!" Rafael replied understanding what Adam was saying. "I mean, she’s an angel, she’s there to help, she can’t get sick!"
"She can," Ronald said and immediately saw the accusing faces of the other three angels. "R-remember Tess got Alzheimer once!"
"That’s not gonna happen, Andrew!" Adam said trying to reassure him.
"No, the Father wouldn’t put you together to separate you now!" Rafael said. "Come on, you two seem to be done one for the other, as if it was His will you two came to be together at the end!"
"That’s because it is, boy!" Ronald interrupted and the three looked at him again. "It was His will. He knew it when He created you two and when He sent you to work together! Remember there’s no such a thing like coincidences!"
"Is it in your files, Ronald?" Andrew asked.
"Kind of... I mean, it didn’t say you would fall in love but... the Father knows which of His angels can work together and make a good team... But the files are not oracles, so I have no idea of how this is supposed to end."
****
Washington 3:00 p.m.
"You should think about eating something in fact if you’re planning to spend all the nights without sleeping, Miss Wings," Tess told Monica when she saw her young charge playing distractedly with the food in the plate in front of her.
"I don’t feel like eating, Tess," Monica replied pushing away the food. "I wish time could pass faster and we could know how all this is going to end."
The supervisor took a seat in front of her at the table of the cafeteria where they were. "Are you telling me that you don’t trust the Father to be able to take something good out of all this?"
"No, Tess, no. It’s just that... diseases are always so hard to understand... So many innocent people and such a horrible feeling of helplessness..."
"We have to trust, baby! And help the Father as much as we can where he chose us to be! He’ll see us through!"
"I know, but..." the young angel said with eyes full of tears. "Things are not going well... Andrew and the others are going to the jungle and I can’t help but having a bad feeling about it! I wish I could be there with him!"
"Calm down, angel girl!" Tess said reaching for her hand. But when she took it, she exclaimed, "Monica, are you alright? You’re too cold!"
The Irish angel was wiping her tears away. "I-I’m a wee bit cold... It’s a little chill here..."
"Chill? Baby, it’s like 30ºc outside!"
****
Next day. Impfondo 8:00 p.m.
The sound of the river running along the town welcomed the two jeeps that arrived that night. Sam, Adam, Rafael, Andrew and Jack climbed out of one and headed to the house their guide pointed out. A middle-age man joined them at the door. "You must be Dr. Jack McKinney," the man said shaking hands with the dark skinned doctor. "Thanks God you’re here! My name is Raymond Mberi."
"Nice to meet you, Raymond," Jack replied and then introduced the group of angels.
Sam and Jack were at the head of the group and spent some more minutes talking to Raymond; Rafael, Adam and Andrew a little behind, listening to what the man was saying. None noticed a pair of black, bright small eyes that were checking on them until they heard Rafael’s scream. "What on Earth!" the younger angel said when he felt a sudden weight jumping to his back and taking away his cap.
Andrew and Adam practically jump in their places and turned to see their friend. Then they couldn’t help but laugh at what they and the rest of the group saw: on a high lamp there was a monkey now "wearing" Rafael’s cap.
"Hey, you! Give me my cap!" the angel exclaimed.
"That’s Nikki," Raymond said. "It’s my daughter’s pet. And that’s his particular way to introduce himself."
Rafael turned to see Adam, Sam and Andrew who were all the three fighting tears for laughing. "He scared the death out of you, pal!" Adam managed to say, his face all red.
"Very funny..." the younger angel mumbled. "Ok, Nikki, nice to meet you. Can I have my cap back?" he said coming closer to the monkey, but the little animal jumped and got out of the angel’s reach.
"Nikki, come here!" Raymond ordered but the monkey showed him his teeth as if smiling at him. "We have to distract him."
"You call him, I’ll take the cap," Jack suggested to Raymond, carefully walking towards the pet.
"Ok, Nikki, look. Come here and I’ll give you a banana," Raymond said patting his shoulder.
The monkey seemed to consider the offer as he examined his owner trying to find out the truth. Jack took the chance to reach for the cap but when he pulled it, Nikki felt the movement and attacked the cap biting Jack. "Ouch!" the doctor shouted covering his hurt hand with the other one. "You stupid monkey!"
"Jack, are you ok?" Rafael asked and Andrew and Adam came closer to examine his hand, their laughter now forgotten.
"Nikki, come back!" Raymond shouted at seeing the monkey disappearing in a near tree. "Oh, doctor, I’m sorry! He had never done something like this!"
"I’ll be alright, don’t worry," Jack said. "But we’ll have to get you a new cap, Rafael."
****
Washington 10:00 p.m.
Monica yawned deeply before she opened the door of the isolated room where Mike and Alice were. The boy seemed to be fighting for his life although he had had to get fluids, blood transfusions and special drugs to keep his heart beating. Her mother had never left his side and the lack of sleep was now evident in her face. "Good night, Alice," the Irish angel greeted, her voice muffled by the surgical mask. "How are you doing?"
"Fine, I guess," the woman answered. "The nurse has just changed his IV. She said his vitals are still..."
"I see Mike is doing as well as we could hope," Monica continued checking his file. "But now I want to know how you feel. You look rather pale..."
"Oh, I’m fine..." Alice said taking a seat on the chair right beside her son’s bed. "I’m tired and worried, but I keep on praying for a miracle..." she stoked the boy’s cheek. Monica saw her and took a seat at the end of the bed. After some seconds, Alice turned to see her. "Are you alright, Monica? You too look pale..."
"No, I’m fine... Just tired... I... hum... I called Robert today."
Alice met her gaze immediately, hope written all over her face. "And what did he say?!"
Monica felt a knot forming in her stomach and played nervously with her pen and notebook. "I couldn’t talk to him. His secretary told me he was on a trip..."
"He had to go to Colorado to a reunion with American ministers of Health and some people from the World Health Organization. Isn’t it ironic?" Alice asked. "They were discussing some special plans to send help to Africa to fight AIDS..."
"That’s the perfect chance!" Monica exclaimed with renewed hope. "I hope he talks about Ebola this time!"
"I don’t want to disappoint you, but I wouldn’t bet," Alice said pessimistically.
"Why?"
"I know Robert. He’s hurting... I hurt him and he can’t forgive me..." the woman said fighting the tears that were now forming in her eyes.
"Alice, I understand you have family problems and I know we don’t know each other very well, but if there’s something I can do to help... The epidemic is my priority, it’s true, but I’d like to help you," the little angel said reaching to squeeze the woman’s hand.
"I lied to him, Monica. I lied to my husband for eight years... He discovered the truth and I can’t blame him..." Alice met Monica’s sight and she continued. "Mike... Mike is not his son, Robert can’t have children but I made him believe the contrary. When I discovered his infertility, I secretly asked for a sperm donor and then got an in vitro fertilization. He was running for the major’s election in Atlanta and I didn’t want to bother him with the unsuccessful tries to get pregnant, so I did it all by myself. I told him he was going to be a father the day he won the election and I’ll never forget the happiness in his face!"
"I’m sure he wanted a baby as much as you did," the angel offered. "But a lie is a lie..."
"And a lie always get discovered... He found out about Mike like half a year ago... I had never seen so much anger and discourage in someone’s face as I did in his that day. He asked me for the divorce immediately but he stayed for Mike. God! They used to be so close... But Robert changed when he knew the truth and Mike felt it. He’s being asking his father to stay and that’s the only reason we are still together... He doesn’t love me anymore..." the woman concluded sadly.
"But you do love him," Monica guessed.
"Yes, yes, I do!" Alice sobbed. "I did what I did ‘cause I love him, ‘cause he always talked about a family and a baby and I knew it would devastate him to know he was infertile! After Mike was born, I told him it was me the one that had trouble to get pregnant but that we would keep on trying. Mike became his biggest pride... and now..."
"We’ll make him see, Alice, I promise to help you," Monica said standing up and hugging the woman. "God will help us."
"I keep on asking Him to spare my baby’s life... to give me a second chance..."
"And praying is the best you can do..."
"I’m so tired and overwhelmed that... Achoo!" Alice sneezed.
"Bless... Oh no!" Monica murmured, one hand covering her open mouth.
"What?" Alice asked but when she touched her surgical mask and then removed it, she saw what the angel had seen. A big red droop of fresh blood. She took her hand to her nose and then to her mouth, the feeling of a warm liquid over her fingers very present now. She saw her wet fingers and lifted her head to meet Monica’s gaze. The angel’s brow eyes told her everything: a nightmare had come true.

Somewhere under the desert's moon Chapter 3

2004-12-04T17:14:00.000-08:00

Hello, everyone!
I hope you like it... If you thought things were controlled... I'm sorry!!!

Chapter 3

Brazzaville, 2:00 a.m.
The front desk of the hotel where they were staying was empty and the only source of light were a couple of lamps at the living room. Andrew walked towards the couch and took a seat, heavily leaning over his back and sighing. He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples with his thumbs.
"How many?" Adam asked taking a seat beside him a couple of minutes later.
"27... you?"
"30." They remained silent for some minutes, then the older angel of death said, "I can’t believe this is happening! That many a day?"
"Yeah... I know..." Andrew replied with a sad voice.
"I wonder how long will it take for Monica to send the help we need."
"I hope she doesn’t have to come," the blond angel said firmly, and looking at Adam he added, "I don’t want to see her suffering, Adam, and this is so, so hard. I want to see her again, but I don’t want her to watch this. You know her, her heart would break in pieces."
"You’re right..." Adam conceded. "This is too much for anyone. But you’re dying to know when you’ll see her again..."
"Of course," Andrew replied quickly. "I need her now more than ever. It’s just that..." he sighed, "that I feel this is the hardest assignment the Father has given me! I mean... some have been really hard... wars, bombs, natural disasters, but this time these people know they are bleeding to death, they know their insides are melting into nothing but blood, and we can’t do anything, not even to ease their pain! I look into their eyes and all I can see is a silent prayer for death to come as soon as possible and... I... I am praying with them for it to happen, Adam! How can I...?! What kind of an angel am I...?!"
"I understand you, Andrew..." Adam said in a calm voice. "Because I feel the same way."
"Days, weeks... how long will it be?"
Adam just shook his head and sighed. Then he checked his watch. "It’s just 7:00 p.m. in Washington. You can talk to her."
Feeling his heart too heavy with sorrow, he stood up and walked to his room barely murmuring a "Good night" to his partner.
****
Washington – 7:00 p. m.
Monica walked into her office and stood in front of the window, absentmindedly looking to the dark city in front of her. She couldn’t believe what was happening: in a matter of hours, she had 15 people admitted, all with the possibility of being infected as they had had contact either with Mike, his teacher or the flight attendant. "Father," she prayed closing her eyes, a couple of big tears rolling over her cheeks, "please help me understand what Your plan is here because right now I can’t figure it out..." The ring of the phone interrupted her and she picked it up. "Yes?"
"You have a call from Brazzaville," the receptionist told her.
Monica felt her heart jumping with joy. ‘Andrew!’ she thought. "Yes, put it on line." She waited until the call was connected. "H-hello?" she asked somehow uncertain.
"Hello, sweetheart," said the familiar male voice, though this time it was clearly sad.
"Andrew..." she could say before a sob broke her voice.
"I guess your day was pretty hard, huh?" he added, his heart feeling sadder with the tone of her voice. "Bad news with Robert?"
"He doesn’t even want to talk!" Monica choked. "He ran away! He hasn’t come back to see his wife or his son! He refuses to believe this is happening and he has even forbidden me to talk to the press!"
"Forbidden you?"
"He thinks we can handle everything here, but he hasn’t come back so he doesn’t know..."
"He doesn’t know what, Monica?" the blond angel asked fearing something really serious.
The Irish angel sighed. "He doesn’t know we have two more cases and I have had to admitted other 15 people with symptoms..."
"You mean you have 18 Ebola cases already there?!" he shouted standing up quickly. "In one day?!" He hardly heard the tiny "yes" that was Monica’s reply. "Oh, Father, what are we going to do?!"
"How many do you have there, Andrew?" she managed to ask.
He pondered the possibility of not telling her the truth, of hiding it, of hang up the phone to spare her the worry he knew she’d get, but finally he spoke. "Honey... we don’t know... Only Adam and I took 57 people Home today..." Andrew heard the noise of her chair and she starting to sob, and his heart ached with the need to be by her side and hold her close. He knew her, he knew how impotent she should be feeling knowing so many people were dying and she could do nothing to stop it. "Angel..." he finally murmured.
"I’m not prepared for this, Andrew!" she exclaimed and surprised him. "I’m not ready to hold in my hands the lives of so many and know they are slipping away through my fingers and I can’t do a single thing to help! This is too difficult! I’m not the right angel for this!" she was openly crying now and she wanted nothing more but to be with him and feel his strong arms circling her body, protecting her, his hands stroking her hair and soothing her soul in the process.
"Nonsense, baby!" he gently admonished her though he really meant it. "God knows you’re the right angel for this, that’s why He put you there! I... I was doubting myself that I could be useful here, but now, hearing you questioning what I was questioning too, makes me see He was right. We have to go over our pain and our fear and help Him to help them. You can do it, angel girl. Just remember the Father never gives you a task you can’t accomplish. He will never ask you to do something impossible."
****
Brazzaville, 8:00 a.m.
"Sam!" Andrew exclaimed at seeing his formal supervisor. ‘This can’t be good’ he thought.
"Nice to see you, Andrew," the dark skinned angel said. "It’s been quite a long..."
"What are you doing here? I mean... It’s obvious this is a mess but..."
"I know," Sam said placing his hand over the blond angel’s shoulder and walking with him. "This time I came with some good news, boy. The World Health Organization had ordered to send help here. They are arriving day after tomorrow."
"Thanks, God!!!" Andrew almost shouted. "That’s great! So Monica got her job done?"
"I’m afraid no and the help is not what we expected. They are only sending five doctors and some supplies, but none of the experts of the CDC’s. I heard Monica got some trouble in Washington..."
"Three confirmed cases, 15 suspicious... Sam, the more I think, the less I can find a solution or a way to stop it! What can we do?"
"Go meet Jack and the others for a start is a good idea. We have a plan and they are waiting for us. When was the last time you went out camping?"
"Camping?!" Andrew asked surprised. "Camping like what?" he added feeling that marshmallows and a bonfire wasn’t exactly what Sam had in mind.
"Camping like spending a good week or so sleeping under the stars... without the marshmallows," the supervisor told him reaching for the door of the hospital.
****
Washington, 7:00 a.m.
Monica was walking along the corridor with a big cup of coffee in her hands. She had spent the night watching over her patients and admitting five more, and she felt that her human form really needed the caffeine this time. She felt tired and sleepy, and that was not a normal feeling for her.
"Hang on a sec," the little angel heard a nurse telling someone on the phone when she passed by the nurses station of the infectology ward. "Dr. Monica, it’s for you!"
Monica took the phone wishing it was Andrew again. It was strange for her to have to use the phone to talk to him but at the moment she would take what she could have... "Hello?"
"You’re exhausted, I can say that," the blond angel told her as soon as he heard her voice. "I guess you didn’t take a rest last night and now you have a big cup of coffee right beside you."
"Touchée!" she chuckled feeling like a little girl caught with her hands on her mom’s make-up. "Good morning, sweetheart," she greeted.
"I guess Tess is too busy this time to be concerned about your caffeine level," he was trying to joke but the concern in his voice betrayed him.
"How are you doing?" Monica asked now seriously.
"Sam’s here," Andrew told her at once. "He came with a special commission from the WHO. They are sending some doctors, but not exactly what we need."
"I will contact Robert today. He has to know about the new cases I got at night."
"While that happens, baby, I have something to tell you..." he announced. "I... hum... We are going to the town where it all began. It’s at the end of the jungle, right where the big savanna starts. There’s no phone there so I won’t be able to call... Jack and Sam think monkeys can be the source of infection and we’re going to find out..."
A big fear set in Monica’s heart at hearing this. She didn’t know why but she had a bad feeling about the trip. "Please, don’t go," she said automatically, "don’t go, Andrew!"
"Monica, you know I have no choice. I have to go... I don’t like this more than you do, but we have to do all we can, you right there and me right here."
"Please, take care. I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you. I miss you," she said slowly and he smiled immediately.
"I miss you too, angel girl," he told her quietly. "I promise I’ll be back as soon as possible... I so want to hold you..."
"So do... I... A... A... Achoo!" she tried to reply.
"Bless you!" Andrew said automatically before realizing what was strange in the situation: had Monica just sneezed? "Did you sneeze?" he asked incredulously.
"Yeah... it seems so," the little angel answered surprised too. "I guess I’m really tired this time," she tried to sound cheerful but Andrew wasn’t about to joke.
After a long second of silence, the blond angel asked, "Monica, you are taking all the precautions, aren’t you?"

Somewhere under the desert's moon Chapter 2

2004-11-24T13:42:00.000-08:00

Hello, everyone!!
I hope you're enjoying this! Remember I'm always waiting for your comments!

Chapter 2

"Do you see now why I told you to pray?" Henry asked the four angels. "And it’s been just two weeks. It all started with one single sick person, and now we don’t know how many are sick. Just in this hospital we’ve attended more than 1 500, but we can’t know the number out of the city. A whole town could disappear in days if they don’t control their sick people."
"But if that little boy is already sick in Washington... he could infect many other people," Rafael voice was almost trembling.
"In fact, he has," Henry’s words were the confirmation of what all the four angels were thinking. "I’m afraid Tess, Monica and Gloria will have a hard work to do."
******
"You need to have faith, Alice," Monica said to the crying woman who was standing in front of the window that separated the isolated room where two nurses covered from top to bottom worked over little Mike. The Irish angel was also wearing gloves and a surgical mask.
"Please, tell me this is a bad dream. This cannot be happening."
"I wish I could," Monica’s voice was trying to be reassuring. "Although, I have to tell you that you’ll be isolated as well, but if you want you can stay with Mike, as long as you don’t touch him with bare hands."
"Yes, I want to be with him," the teary gaze of the mother penetrated Monica’s heart and the little angel squeezed Alice’s shoulder.
"Come with me, we’ll get you the suit."
"I’m sorry, I don’t even know your name," Alice said, realizing that she didn’t know how to call the angel that had been so nice to her.
"Monica."
They entered a little room where another nurse handled Alice a blue gown, a hat, gloves and a surgical mask. She was helped to get dressed and that only make her felt more like living something unreal.
"I’d like to apologize for Robert. He’s a good man but this is so hard," Alice said lowering her eyes.
"Don’t do it. It’s not necessary," Monica felt a wave of compassion at the worried face of the woman who was having so much trouble to deal with everything, her son as well as her husband. "I know this is a nightmare for you. I don’t blame him for being angry, but I really hope he’ll think better about what I asked him."
"We made that trip for Mike; we have had some hard times lately and the kid resented them so bad we thought we could make up things with a safari. You know kids, a safari was such an adventure for him!" Monica and Alice left the little room and walked down the corridor to Mike’s room. "Are you married, Monica? Do you have children?"
The Irish angel smiled at the simple thought of she and Andrew sharing a family life. "No, I’m not married, neither I have kids."
"But you’re in love?"
Monica’s smile grew larger and a special glint appeared in her eyes, the special glint reserved only for Andrew. "Yes, I am."
"Then you can understand what I mean. I wanted to save my marriage and my family. I love Robert. God! I’d like he was here!" Alice leaned over her son and brushed a lock of his hair that was over his forehead.
"I’m sure he’ll be here soon, Alice. He loves you and he loves his son," the angel felt she was starting to understand what Tess meant with there was something huge in this assignment.
"Yes, he is his son," Alice whispered without paying attention to Monica’s puzzled face.
The angel chose not to ask more and, instead, she left her alone with her son. "I’ll be back later. If you need something, call for the nurse, ok?" but she got no answer. She closed the door and stood in front of the window, watching at the mechanical stroking of the woman on his child forehead.
"This family has been built over a lie, isn’t it, Tess?" Monica asked when she felt her supervisor presence.
"Yes and not, baby." The younger angel turned to face her, unable to understand the contradiction in Tess’ answer. "There’s a lie, it’s true, but there are also many truths in this family, and one that should never be forgotten: there is love between them, angel girl, and you better than any other angel know that love itself is worthier than any mistake the person you love could ever make."
"But Robert has forgotten that," Monica sighed.
"Yes, and so has Alice, baby."
*****
"Andrew, this is Dr. McKinney," Henry said introducing the blond angel to a dark skinned man. "He’s in charge of the hospital right now. The... hum... the original director died two days ago."
"Nice to meet you, Dr. McKinney," the angel shook hands with him.
"Please, call me Jack," he said. "I’m glad you’re here. We need all the help we can have."
"That’s why we’re here. Oh, and these are Adam, Rafael and Ronald." The other three angels shook hands with him too.
"Thank you. I’ll take you to where you’ll be staying."
Jack took the four of them to a 2 level building that seemed to be the highest building in the zone. It was placed at the end of a road and behind it there was nothing but the open field, beautiful and calm as if it were a little part of the paradise. There was a big terrace on the second floor with open view to it.
"Your rooms are ready. You won’t have to share them, there’s plenty of room for everyone," Jack explained. "I hope you’ll be comfortable." They crossed the living room and Jack added, "Feel free to use the phone. I can imagine you’ll want to call your families or someone else," he smiled at seeing Andrew blushing slightly after Adam and Rafael elbowed him teasingly.
An hour later, the blond angel went to find Jack back at the hospital. He was wearing the safety equipment already, and when he arrived the doctor was closing the eyes of the woman lying in front of him. The angel looked in front and saw Rafael, all dressed in white, offering a hand to the soul of the woman.
"Her little son died yesterday," Jack told Andrew when he covered the corpse. "She told us they had already buried her husband before they came to the town. We’re losing more than a hundred people everyday between here and the other hospitals, but we have no exact records of the deaths in the villages. We’re desperate now, that’s why we’ve asked help."
"Where have you asked for help? The World Health Organization?"
"Yes, but we also hope to get help from the Centers of Disease Control and Prevention. They’re doing research about epidemics and I truly believe they are most capable to handle this. Unfortunately they are refusing to come. I know this scares them, but the whole world is in danger if we don’t control it. My last hope is a woman I talked to yesterday. Her name is Tess."
"Yeah, I know her," Andrew said.
"You do?" Jack asked surprised and saw the angel nodding. "She said there was someone else who could help us, another woman..."
"Monica," he guessed.
"Yes! Don’t tell me you know her too?"
Andrew smiled, his heart feeling sad at the memory of her. "I do... I know her very well."
"Well, I really pray for her to help us. I wish she could some and see what you’ve just seen."
"It’s not necessary, Jack," the angel of death told him placing a hand on his shoulder. "Monica doesn’t have to see this to believe you need help. She has the most compassionate heart of the world and I can assure you she’s already doing everything to send help."
"She must be something for you to talk like this about her..." the doctor commented in surprise with Andrew’s words about the little angel.
"She is," he said smiling. "I hope one day you can meet her... under better circumstances."
*****
"How are you feeling, Mr. Grimsley?" Monica asked the man who was looking at his wife and son through the window of the isolated area of the hospital.
"How do you think?" he replied sarcastically.
"I know you must feel terrible for Alice and Mike, but actually I was talking about your health. I didn’t ask you to be isolated for what I told you before, but if you show any symptom as fever or muscular ache, you will have to be admitted as well."
Robert turned to look at the Irish angel and leaned heavily over the wall. "No, I don’t feel bad at all. I’m ok."
"Alice asked me to let her stay with your son. She told me the last few months have been pretty hard for you..."
"Yeah... That’s why we had the idea of the trip. She proposed Disney but I wanted something more. It was me the one who thought about going to The Congo. I never thought something like this could happen!"
Monica placed a reassuring hand on his arm. "This is not your fault, Mr. Grimsley. You wanted to give your son something to remember and you did."
"Yeah... and I gave him his own death."
"Robert, the next two weeks will be critical for him. If he survives them, he may have a good chance to recover. He’s here under a good care, getting the medicines that cannot cure him but that can help him to fight. But there is an epidemic at The Congo, and thousands of people are lying on the floor just waiting to die! Please, you have to help me, you have to help them!"
"You’ve said it, doctor...?"
"Call me Monica."
"Ok. You’ve said it, Monica. Here we have the conditions, medicines, special clothes! There there’s nothing! My job as a senator is to protect the life of the citizens, not send them to risk it!"
"A fancy hospital is not what they need!" she replied feeling desperate at how her words crashed with a wall again. "If Mike is not the only case, we won’t have a single chance either! Do this for your country, do this for your own son!"
"My son? I don’t know if..." Robert stopped not wanting to discuss his worries with a complete stranger. "There won’t be any more cases, Monica," he said.
"How can you know?!"
"We’re in America, we’re lucky, we’ve always been lucky," he said with a forced smile.
"I wouldn’t call it luck."
"Call it the way you want to. Mike will be the only case. Oh, and I need to ask you something. Please, don’t inform the press about this. You don’t want to cause a massive panic, do you?"
The little angel’s hands were tightly wrapped in fists, her nails almost hurting her. How could this man be so blind? She closed her eyes and mentally asked for help and guidance, though what happened next scared her more and let her wondering about the near future.
"Monica, you need to come immediately!" Gloria said almost breathless running to the angel and the man.
"What’s going on, Gloria?" she asked.
"We have two new cases of Ebola on the ER! A flight attendant and Mike’s teacher!"
Robert’s blood froze in his veins but what he would never forget was the penetrating sight in Monica’s brown eyes.

Somewhere under the desert's moon Chapter 1

2004-11-14T17:27:00.000-08:00

Chapter 1

By the time, Robert and Alice arrived to the hospital, Monica, Gloria and Tess were already settled in their posts at their new assignment. Tess was the first to meet them, working as an emergency nurse, quickly followed by Monica, who was supposed to be the attending pediatrician in the hospital.
"We’ll take good care of him", Monica reassured the concerned parents as they looked their boy disappearing into the wards. "I may ask you to please stay here and think of what could possibly caused the bleeding, any symptom, any previous disease, something he might’ve eaten or some place where he might’ve gone where there were other sick people... I’ll be back soon".
"Please, help him", Alice whispered between sobs. Monica placed her hand on her shoulder, gave her a little squeeze and a sly smile, and then got inside. Robert tightened his hold around his wife’s shoulders trying to give her some strength while he himself looked for some back. Mike had been acting quite strange since they had come back from Africa, with occasional fevers and some symptoms of a cold, but both he and Alice thought it was just the change of climate from the sunny and hot days of Brazzaville to the rainy ones of Washington D.C. They went to look for a seat on the waiting room. Monica and Tess could see them so quiet, so worried... and so far away from each other.
"I’m so sorry for them, Tess", the little angel said, "but why do I have the feeling that you’re not telling me everything?".
"I’m not lying to you, Miss Wings, if that’s what you’re trying to say!", exclaimed the older angel with an indignant tone.
Monica wrapped an arm around her supervisor’s shoulders and softened her voice. "I’m not saying you’re lying to me, Tess, I said I feel that Mike’s not the only problem for Robert and Alice. There’s something more but I’m not quite sure about it...".
"Well, I thought you would never notice it! As now you want every couple to be so perfect as you and Andrew are...", Monica cleared her throat to avoid the clear ironic note in Tess’ voice. "Of course there is something more, something huge, and you’re supposed to make them go through all this t o g e t h e r", Tess almost spelled every letter of the last word, "I only pray the Lord that your mind is clear enough to use what you’ve learned about love recently..."
Monica listen to her in silence, half laughing at the fact that the older angel still used to tease her about her relationship with Andrew, half praying God to help her to find the right words as He had always done before.
"What?" Tess asked when she found her charge looking at her almost without blinking.
"I love you too, Tess", Monica answered before kissing her cheek and walked to Mike’s room. The young angel didn’t see the tender smile on Tess’ face.
******
"If you’re thinking if she would like it, I think she would", Andrew heard Adam’s voice right behind him. He had been looking a delicate silver necklace in a street shop in Brazzaville. They were supposed to find there Henry, an angel from Special cases who would be supervising them, but as there was no sing of him, the four of them were wandering around the zone that had come to be a crowded market.
"Do you like this?" Rafael asked as he showed Adam and Andrew a colorful T-shirt with an "I went on safari" legend and an enormous lion face across the chest.
"Well, not exactly angelic", Andrew said, "but I think it will suit your old jeans when we go back Home". Rafael laugh with his mates while they kept looking around to try to find Henry.
"This is strange", Ronald said checking his watch. "I’m perfectly sure that he should be here by now. If things are going the way they looked, we shouldn’t be wasting time".
"Last minute change, I’m sorry". Henry had finally appeared behind them. He was sweeping, had taken out his jacket and bent his shirt sleeves over his elbows. "It’s so hot around here". He took a tissue out of his pocket and cleaned his forehead. "I would say it’s nice to see you, but under the circumstances..."
"Not exactly the best, huh?", Adam asked.
"In fact, the worst, I’d say. Things are going worse and every single day counts", Henry’s voice was really concerned. Then he turned to face Andrew, who still had the necklace in his hands. "I really hope Monica can do her job fast enough. If this is not controlled, in a month the whole planet will be in danger. Everything depends on her".
"She will", Adam said. "She will not give up".
"Yeah, if there’s an angel who can touch the hardest heart and change the closest mind, that’s Monica", Rafael continued.
"May God help her. You’ll see why...", Henry said looking at the four angels. "I trust her as well, but still I recommend you to pray for her. Let’s go".
Andrew listened to the conversation in silence, slightly mad at the beginning for thinking Henry didn’t trust Monica enough, and worried later because, by the sound of the special cases angel’s voice, he had realized that the life of millions was in his beloved angel’s hands... or voice. Adam looked at him silently, understanding what was in his friend mind, but not feeling able to force him to share his thoughts. "Shall we go, Andrew?", he asked, Ronald and Rafael some steps away with Henry.
"Yes", the blond angel answered. "Just let me pay for this".
******
Alice and Robert almost ran to meet Monica and Gloria when they saw them approaching. They had been there for more than an hour after arriving to the hospital with Mike lying unconscious and bleeding, and they were almost expecting the worst. Unfortunately, that was not too far from the truth.
"Senator Grimsley? This is Gloria", the Irish angel said to introduce her charge to the waiting parents. "Could you please join us? There’s something we need to discuss".
"What’s happening to Mike?", Alice voice was almost a whisper.
"Please, come with me", Monica offered her hand to her, and walked them to "her" dispensary. When they arrive, Gloria was the first to talk.
"I’m sorry for being so direct, but I need you to tell me: Have you been in Africa recently, The Congo, for example?"
"Yes", Robert answered, "we came back from The Congo a week and a half ago. But why?"
"Mr. Grimsley", Monica’s voice was really serious and concern was also evident. "We are afraid Mike has got Ebola".
"No!!!", Alice shouted before she covered her mouth with her hands and began to cry openly.
"What? This is not possible", Robert was having a hard time to get all that Monica’s words implied: Ebola was a mortal disease in most of the cases.
"Sometimes it’s not easy to identify the symptoms", Gloria explained. "They seem like a simple flu, and when detected at that moment, the possibility of a full recovery is higher, but Mike was already bleeding, and..."
"And what?", Robert was almost furious.
Gloria looked at Monica for a confirmation to continue, and sighting she said: "The probabilities for him, now, are only 25%. I’m sorry".
For some seconds, there was no other sound than Alice’s sobs. Monica and Gloria felt really sorry but they knew they had to continue: every little precaution was necessary, not only for their own security but for the one of thousands of people in the city.
"He’s already isolated", Monica finally broke the silence out. "We should recommend both of you to be isolated as well, but I will make an exception with you, Mr. Grimsley". Robert looked at her and saw a request in Monica's dark eyes, but he wasn’t sure he would accept. Noticing he didn’t answer anything, the little angel continued to explain. "You’re a Senator and have influences in the government. We need to alert the authorities and convince them to send special help to The Congo..."
"No...", Robert shook his head.
"Otherwise, Mike will not be the only case in the US... There could be millions of sick people in days if we don’t control this".
"You control it right here! I’m not going to ask for a permission to send doctors to die in there!", the Senator was almost shouting.
"But your son may not be the only one case. Don’t you see it?", Monica had also risen her voice though it was still controlled.
Robert looked directly into her eyes, and she met the most empty gaze she could remember for a while. "My son is almost dead, you said that", he half murmured before rushing out of the dispensary with a big slam.
******
Any of the angels weren’t prepared to see what they found at the crowded little hospital at Brazzaville: a thousand of sad dark eyes, empty of tears as well as of hope, bodies lying over the floor as beds weren’t enough long ago, flies fluttering around bleeding noses and mouths that remained unconsciously opened... Three fans still fought a lost battle against hot in the improvised ward where some other angels of death were already giving comfort to the dying.
"Oh, God, be merciful!", Andrew whispered feeling the moisture of tears coming to his eyes, just as Adam, Rafael and Ronald stayed like petrified behind him.

Somewhere under the desert's moon

2004-11-07T17:41:00.000-08:00

Prologue

It was a sunny day when none could think about anything going wrong. Monica had met her former charge, Gloria, and was walking with her in silence, thinking that any assignment that they may have to deal with in such a beautiful day would be easy to solve. More than anything, she wanted to be free to spend some time with Andrew... Maybe, she thought, they could spend the afternoon walking together hand in hand and talking about any simple thing that may come to their minds... She hadn’t had a clue of what she was supposed to deal with when she had been required to meet Tess and Gloria.
When Monica saw Tess, the Irish angel smiled happily and hugged her supervisor, who even after the hug, didn’t take her eyes away of what she was looking at. "Hi, Tess!" she said. "What a beautiful day, isn’t it?"
"Not that fast, Miss Wings." Monica and Gloria couldn’t avoid the concern in her voice. "Everything looks good now, but you should already know that things can change in a second."
"But, Tess," Gloria interrupted, "I don’t see anything strange around here..."
Gloria hasn’t even finished the sentence when a terrifying cry made the two younger angels turn to pay attention to what Tess was looking. A young woman was running out of an elegant house to meet her husband in the yard with a small kid lying unconscious in her arms, blood draining out if his mouth and nose. The man ran to meet his wife, took the little boy and got into a car. A second later, the three angels saw the car disappear around the corner.
Gloria looked at Monica questioningly, but the Irish angel only shook her head. "That’s Senator Robert Grimsley," Tess finally said facing the younger angels, "and his wife Alice and their son, Mike".
"What’s happening to the boy, Tess?" Monica asked.
"He’s gotten Ebola, Monica," Andrew answered, appearing just right behind her.
"Andrew!" Monica felt her heart filling with joy at the sound of his voice, and a wide smile spread on her face when she turned to face him, wanting nothing more but hugging him. But all the happiness just fade away in a second when she saw that her beloved angel, as well as Adam, Rafael and Ronald were all dressed in their formal angel suit ready to go to work. Her voice changed from joy to a barely audible whisper. "Are you going anywhere?"
"Yes, beautiful," Adam said. "And this is not going to be an easy... nor a happy assignment." Having always been close to Andrew and Monica, the angel of death knew the deep love his two friends shared and he understood that being away was going to be especially painful for both of them.
"What kind of assignment needs seven angels?" Gloria asked. "Not to mention two angels of death..."
"Well, this is not a normal assignment", Rafael explained. "We are not the only angels working at this..."
"Where are you going?" Monica interrupted while she took Andrew’s hand looking for some relief to the anguish she was starting to feel.
"The Congo" Ronald said. "There’s an epidemic of Ebola there. Senator Robert and his family have just came back from a safari."
Knowing that this meant a long term separation from Andrew, fear had risen in Monica’s heart before she decided to ask for a confirmation. "How long would you be out?" she heard herself asking but not wishing to know the answer.
Andrew tighten her hand and sighed heavily. "At least a month...", he said, just as afraid as she was of the tears that had started to glisten in her eyes. "Will you excuse us for a moment?" he asked their friends.
"Of course, baby," Tess said. "You need to talk".
The blond angel held Monica by the shoulders and walked with her a little away from the rest of the group. He could feel the fear in her heart, not a fear of never meeting again but of not having a clue about how to deal a long time without each other’s loved presence. When she finally stopped and faced him, Andrew saw her bright eyes and felt his heart plunging to the bottom of his chest.
"A whole month without seeing you?" her voice was trembling and he could see in her face a silence hope of everything being a misunderstood. He felt his resistance about to cease, about to refuse going anywhere away of the little angel he loved so much. "I’m afraid so..." he took both of her hands and kissed them tenderly before meeting her sad gaze again. "I know this is hard, but you know that I have no choice..."
"And why can’t I go with you?" she asked anxiously, a tear falling through her cheek. "If Rafael and Ronald are going..."
She was almost pleading and that was something Andrew felt he wasn’t prepared to deal with. He couldn’t deny anything to her, he would do everything she asked for, but this was not his decision... He took her face in his hands and gently cleaned up her tears with his thumbs. "But this time they are working as angels of death too. And I also know that God needs His best angel of truth right here. That’s why you’re staying".
The remainder of her mission as an angel forced her to regain herself, yet she felt her hands would be terribly empty without the contact of his body. She nodded slightly and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head on his chest, trying to remember since that very moment what that contact she was so used to felt like. "I know", she said. "I just don’t know how I’m supposed to live a whole month without you".
"You know you’re never away from me, baby", Andrew said in a low voice. "I carry you in my heart wherever I go."
"You know what I mean...", she replied. "I’m going to miss being with you like this". Monica held him tighter, rubbing his back slowly.
Andrew felt himself almost shaking with the love he felt every time he had Monica near him. Leaving her for some hours was one thing: he always knew he would surely be with her at night, she would be waiting for him and they would spend hours on each other’s arms, talking about the day, the assignment or any other nice thing they could come up with. But leaving her for weeks... "I don’t know either how I’m going to do this, sweetheart, if I can’t stand two seconds away form you". He held her tightly, as if his entire life depended on her warm contact. "I’m going to miss terribly holding you like this, feeling you this near..." he whispered on her ear, "... but especially" he pulled her a little away, just enough to take her face between his hands once more, "... I’m going to miss kissing you like this...". Andrew leaned down to reach her slightly open lips that were waiting for his and kissed her slowly, tenderly first and more passionately later. He felt her melting under the feelings his mouth and his hands had risen in her and lowered his left hand to encircle her waist and pull her even closer.
"I’m going to miss you so much", she whispered finally stopping to kiss him.
"I know. But I want you to remember that I love you with everything I have on me, ok?", he said his forehead touching hers and caressing her right cheek.
"Ok... You do know I love you as well".
"I know", he said leaning again to give her one last quick kiss. "I’ve got to go".
Monica nodded and looked at her beloved angel walking to where Adam, Rafael and Ronald were already waiting for him, their hands refusing to release until the last moment. Tess and Gloria had come near her and the supervisor hugged her. "I know you’re going to miss him, angel girl," Tess said with tender voice, "but the Father really needs you here".
"I know, Tess", the little angel looked at her, tears glistening in her eyes. "Let’s go back to work".

I say love is a flower (alternate version) chap 10 - epilogue

2004-11-04T13:38:00.000-08:00

Chapter 10

Lying alone with nothing but a paper gown and a blanket covering her, for the first time Monica asked mentally why it has to be her the donor for Natalia. The little angel closed her eyes while she waited for the nurses and the doctor that will run some tests on her. After Richard had said she was a perfect match, she had felt the eyes of the four fixed on her. She had wanted to say no, that one thing was to give a sample of blood and another completely different to have her blood filtered during five days and to be under anesthesia and have her hips punctured to collect two quarts of blood and marrow bone! But she had looked at Tess and her supervisor’s eyes had told her all she needed: she being the donor was part of God’s plan, no doubts.
A couple of minutes later, Tess and Andrew got in the exam room. The blond angel quickly took a seat beside her and she sit up to hold him. "I’m scared" she murmured looking at her supervisor with the sight of a lost puppy. Andrew tightened his hold and ran a hand over her hair.
"I know, baby," Tess said, "but everything will be alright. You know the Father wouldn’t have done something like this if He didn’t have a perfect plan behind."
"I keep telling myself that, Tess," she said, her brown eyes full of tears. "But I don’t like what’s lying ahead for the next days."
"We will be with you all the time, angel girl," the old supervisor told her patting her hand lovingly.
"And all the time means all the time," Andrew added kissing her forehead tenderly. "Even during the marrow harvest... I think this time is well allowed to take advantage of being an angel." He smiled in relief when he saw a tiny sparkle of hope in her eyes.
A knock in the door interrupted them and Richard an another nurse got in. "I’m sorry for keeping you waiting Monica but we are ready now. It’s just some more tests, and if everything is alright, we can start with the dialysis tomorrow morning."
"Ok," she managed to whisper.
"I’ll be back when you’re done, ok?" Andrew said kissing her temple again and then leaving the room.
****
Mary Ann sighed heavily before opening the door of her daughter’s room.
"I thought I had told you to leave me alone," the girl said coldly when she saw her mother getting in.
"I’m not here to fight, ok? I’m here to give you wonderful news."
"What?"
"We’ve found a donor, honey! You’ll get the transplant!"
Her mother’s enthusiasm was reflected in her eyes for some seconds. "Really?"
"Yes, baby, yes," Mary Ann went to hold her daughter as if she was again her little baby. "Thanks God we found her."
"Who is it?"
"You won’t believe this. It’s Monica!"
"What?!"
The sudden change in her daughter’s voice surprised the psychologist. "What’s wrong?"
"You mean Monica, your assistant?" the ballerina said freeing herself from her mother’s hug.
"Yes... Imagine that!"
"I don’t want anything that may come form her!!!"
"Honey, what are you saying? This may be your only chance..."
"Then I rather prefer to die!!"
"Natalia..."
"Don’t you get it? She’s the only reason for me being here! If Andrew wasn’t in love with her, he would love me!"
"Honey, that’s not true! They are just friends!"
"I don’t believe that!" she yelled. "I won’t get the transplant if she’s the donor!"
"You are getting that transplant either you want it or not!" Mary Ann shouted back. "Take it willingly or I’ll sign a paper saying you have mental problems and you can’t decide by yourself!"
"You wouldn’t! You could loose your license!"
"I don’t care as long as I don’t loose my daughter! End of the discussion!" Mary Ann said and left the room. When she was at the corridor, she leaned over the wall and covered her face with her hands to muffle her crying.
"Are you ok, Mary Ann?" Andrew asked coming closer to her. "I saw you..."
"No, I’m not ok!" she said and held Andrew, clutching his shirt desperately. "I don’t know what to do with my daughter! She doesn’t want the transplant if Monica is the donor!"
The angel of death rubbed her back soothingly and let her cry for a minute before he suggested, "Why don’t you let me talk to her? I’ll try to make her see."
"Please, Andrew, help me. You heard Richard. If she doesn’t get it, she may die!"
"I’ll go, Mary Ann, calm down." She nodded silently and saw him getting into the room. Weakly she walked towards the waiting room and took a seat on a couch, her head buried in her hands, praying for him to find the words to convince her daughter.
****
When Andrew got into the room, the first thing he noticed was that Natalia was crying. He walked silently to her bed and took a seat there, trying to force her to look at him. "You should be happy, not crying," he offered.
"Had she not been here, would you have fallen in love with me, Andrew?" she asked through her tears, her brown eyes with a pleading expression that made him stutter.
"I thought this was already clear," the angel said not without a note of discomfort. "I told you I couldn’t correspond you that way, Natalia."
"What does she have that I don’t have?"
"It has nothing to do with Monica..."
"Please, tell me!" she said flinging to his arms and wrapping her hands around his neck without paying attention to the IV and the blood bag attached to her arm. "What do I have to do...?" She tried to kiss him but he pulled away.
"Natalia, don’t you see it?" Andrew took her arms away from his neck and pushed her to her pillow again. "I can’t love you that way!"
"Because of Monica" she stated bitterly.
"Because of me!" He had stood up and decided distance was safer for him. "I thought you had understood when I took you to see what was happening in the OR when you first arrived here yesterday night."
"How do you know...?" she asked in surprise.
"I just know," he said. "Don’t you get it? You’ve got a second chance to live! You’ve got a perfect donor, something many people never get!"
"But I don’t have you! You will love her more for her heroic action! I don’t want your pity nor see you admire her more! I don’t care how you knew about my dream! Go to her, go tell her she doesn’t have to play the heroine to have you drooling for her!" She was yelling and Andrew knew she wouldn’t hear anything he could say, much on the contrary, he would finish loosing his temper as he was already dreading.
Andrew sighed heavily and turned to leave the room. He walked to the waiting room with a clear expression of defeat on his face. He found Mary Ann there with Mike, who had come to visit his fellow mate. "Hi, Mike," the blond angel said.
"What happened?" the woman asked anxiously. She saw the angel shaking his head and taking a seat in front of them.
"I’m sorry," he said joining his hands in front of his face. "I think this was a bad idea."
"She blames Monica for what she thinks she has lost, she won’t accept her as her donor."
"Who’s Monica?" Mike asked.
"A friend of Andrew," Mary Ann explained. "Natalia thinks they are dating and ironically she’s the perfect match for the transplant."
"I feel responsible for this," the angel confessed. "I keep on asking myself what I could have done different and I think about a million things and about nothing at the same time."
"No, Andrew, it’s not your fault. I insist it would be mine, but I never knew about Natalia’s relationship with William."
"Do you think I could visit her?" Mike asked somehow timidly.
"I can’t promise she’ll be happy to see you..." Mary Ann warned him.
"Don’t worry," the boy said taking her hand and squeezing it. "I want to try."
Mary Ann and Andrew saw him walking away. "I will go have a walk," the angel said when they were alone. "I need to think, I guess. Could you please tell Monica if she comes?"
"Sure, Andrew. I think I need to make up my mind too."
****
Mike knocked at the door and waited to get an answer. Nothing. He tried again and something inside told him to open the door. He would never forget what he saw: Natalia was lying on the floor, unconscious, in the middle of a puddle of blood and serum. He ran to her and tried to wake her up. He searched her wrists and saw her bandages were in place; the blood was coming from the bag she had detached from her arm. Then he saw something not too far that gave him all the answers: a little bottle with only two pills left. He had seen those before, almost in every bag of his female classmates at the ABA. Amphetamines. Used by the ballerinas to suppress their hunger and have more energy. He stood up, ran to the door and shouted for help...
****
Tess had stayed with Monica during the tests that had included an electrocardiogram and an ultrasound of her kidneys and her liver. The Irish angel felt like a lab rat as she already knew that if God had made her the perfect match, all these tests weren’t necessary. Yet she had let them smear her stomach with the cold gel to get some blurry white and gray images that Richard had interpreted as good news. When they finally ended with all that, she only wanted to get dressed and get out of the hospital for at least that night. Tess had helped her get cleaned and dressed when Richard and the other nurse had been gone, and now the two angels were walking together towards the Oncology ward to find Andrew and Mary Ann.
But they weren’t expecting what they saw... They had almost been run over by a nurse taking a trolley full of packages and medical supplies to Natalia’s room. The door was open and they got closer. A heart monitor showed irregular lines up and down, one doctor was inserting a tube in the girl’s throat while a nurse got ready a mix of black active charcoal. Another nurse had taken some blood samples and then ran out of the room. They could only understand half of the yelling, medical orders shouted from a doctor to a nurse and vice versa...
In a corner they saw a crying Mary Ann held by a rather pale Mike. Monica was about to go near them when a hand on her shoulder stopped her. Standing at her side, in an impeccable white suit was Andrew. It was obvious for her that this was a much harder assignment than many others she had been with him. His sad green eyes spoke volumes to her about how troubled his heart was. She turned to see Tess and her expression confirmed what she wanted to be an illusion: none but they could see him, he was there ready to do his job and if it was the case, this would not be a happy journey. The little angel took his hand and locked her gaze with his, her gesture trying to tell him what she couldn’t put in words. Still, she felt her heart beating frantically when he squeezed her hand and then let it go, and she saw him reaching for Natalia’s hand just in the moment when her heart monitor showed a flat line.
****

Chapter 11

When Natalia opened her eyes, she didn’t know where she was. Everything was dark and just a light over her illuminated a small circle around. She turned everywhere and saw nothing...
"Don’t you know where you are, Natalia?" Andrew asked coming closer. "Don’t you remember this place?"
Natalia looked at him in awe. "Where are we?"
"Don’t you remember that when you were a little girl, there was no other place where you wanted to be one day? Have you forgotten the day you first danced here?"
As he talked, Natalia’s eyes had gotten accustomed to the light and she could see the place: the main stage of the New York State Theater.
"How...?" she asked. "How do you know...?"
"I thought you had understood the last time," he said coming closer. He was dressed in a white suit and so Natalia knew.
"You’re an angel?" He nodded. "Why? Why are you here?"
"I’m the angel of death."
"Am I dead?"
"Not yet. But if you’ll live or not depends on you, on your willing to live."
"I don’t have it, isn’t it obvious?" she replied sarcastically.
"You can keep your sarcasm away. Your future is to be decided right here, right now. This is the place where you decided you wanted to be a ballerina. You were seven years old and you started to work for this dream since then. Have you forgotten that day before Christmas when you played Clara in The Nutcracker? Twelve years, Natalia, and you got the role that any ballerina would want to get as a teenager. Ballet has been your life since then, so don’t blame your mother for your mistakes."
"But I don’t love it anymore, don’t you get it?! My life has no meaning at all! I’m not even worth enough for someone to love me..." she was crying softly and her voice remained somehow calm but with a clear note of sadness.
"Everyone is worth to be loved, Natalia, and you are loved," Monica’s voice surprised them both. Andrew saw her and smiled thankfully. She walked to his side and took his hand reassuringly. "Your parents love you, and other than God’s, that’s the most complete and utter love you’ll find."
"Then is it bad to want to find a man that loves me? Is that what you want to tell me?" This time it was not sadness but anger what was in her voice.
Andrew was about to answer but Monica spoke first. "The love of a man is just a proof of how wonderful His love can be," she said looking at Andrew, "but so are many other things, like the love of your parents or the success in your career. Your talent in ballet is a gift from the Father, a very special one."
The ballerina kept on swiping her tears that now ran freely through her cheeks. "I feel lonely sometimes. I thought William loved me and that belief brought happiness to my life, but now..."
"Do you know the song ‘The Rose’?" the Irish angel asked.
"Yes, why?"
"Do you remember what it says at the end?" Natalia shook her head and then the angel continued. " When the night has been too lonely/ and the road has been too long/ and you feel that love is only/ for the lucky and the strong/ just remember in the winter/ far beneath the bitter snows/ lies the seed that with the sun’s love/ in the spring becomes the rose... Wait, Natalia, wait. Winter may seem long but it doesn’t last forever, and if these last months have been winter for you, the sun’s love will come soon, warm and full of surprises. The seed is there and it’s not dead yet..."
Natalia couldn’t stand it more and felt to her knees, sobs making her tremble. When she rose her head to look at the angels, they were gone. She was all alone, she had to decide right there, right at that moment...
****
Tess saw her angel babies walking hand in hand to where she, Mary Ann and Mike were waiting. "What happened?" the supervisor asked.
"It’s all up to her, Tess," Andrew replied.
"Any notice yet?" Monica asked then.
"No, not yet."
They remained in silence for long minutes, looking at Mary Ann and Mike. Richard joined them soon with no different news: Natalia was unconscious and they couldn’t do anything but wait. What none was expecting was that William went back to the hospital.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Mike, the first to see him made the others to be aware of his presence. Andrew and Richard almost had to run to stop the boy to hit the choreographer.
"I wanted to know about Natalia," he tried to explain.
"She’s almost dead because of you! Because you give the ballerinas the amphetamines they use so they don’t have to eat! You push them to lose weight without control! All this is your fault!"
"You, big b..." Richard was about to shout when another voice interrupted him.
"Mike, will you repeat what you’ve just said ?" It was Jonathan Michels.
"Of course I will!" the boy said looking defiantly at William.
"And if you need a medical opinion, I will be glad to testify!" Richard offered. "I wanted to know how my daughter could possibly get those pills and I guess I’ve just found out. Tess, please call security!"
William tried to run at hearing this but a guard coming to the hall at that exact moment stopped him.
"William White, you’ll have to face a legal suit for abuse in your functions as a teacher at the ABC..." Jonathan said. "Dr. Harris, Ms. Harris, the ABC is very sorry for this. Please, believe me, had we known before, we would’ve stopped this. It will never happen again."
Mary Ann had said nothing and was crying quietly. "We know, Mr. Michels. We really appreciate your concern."
Jonathan excused himself and went with the guard to wait for the police to come. Just then Andrew released his hold on Mike’s arms. "Calm down, Mike," the angel said.
The boy’s words had been like a bucket of cold water for all: William White, the famous choreographer and dancer forced the ballerinas to do drugs and to starve to death, something too dirty to imagine when thought about the glamorous American ballet company...
None broke the silence until a nurse ran to the waiting room. "Dr. Harris, you’ve gotta come!" the woman said almost breathlessly. "It’s your daughter!"
****

Epilogue

Richard and Mary Ann were the first to arrive to Natalia’s room after the nurse called them. The ballerina was waking up, her dark eyes open and scared as she couldn’t talk with the tube in her throat. "Wait, honey," her father told her, "I’ll take this out, ok?"
The three angels looked from the door while Richard took the machine away from her daughter. She coughed a little and her mother gave her some water. "I’m sorry, mom" the girl murmured with a hoarse voice. "I’m sorry, dad."
"We know everything, baby," Mary Ann said. "We’ll help you go through all this, but please, you have to accept the transplant..."
"I will," she said and looked at the door, where the three angels were waiting. "Two angels convinced me that I have to." Andrew, Monica and Tess smiled at hearing her.
"Angels?" Mary Ann asked surprised.
"Whoever they were, God bless them!" Richard said.
"Come on, babies," Tess told the younger angels. "Let’s leave them alone." They walked along the corridor and then the older angel suggested, "Andrew, don’t you think someone here deserves a big moka latte?"
The blond angel hold Monica closer to him. "Oh, yes, Tess, she really deserves it!"
****
The following days passed like a dream for Monica and Natalia, though they didn’t talk to each other. The ballerina had had to take a higher dose of chemotherapy so her bone marrow was destroyed, while Monica had to get a dialysis everyday to be ready for the mother cells collect. Andrew stayed by her side during all the procedures, carefully stroking her swollen little hand where she got the catheters.
And there was someone else waiting for the transplant day to come. The afternoon before, Mike knocked at the door of his classmate’s room, carefully using the gloves and the mouth cover the doctor instructed him to wear as Natalia’s immunity was low because of the chemotherapy.
"Mike" the girl greeted him. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to see you, and to wish you the best luck for tomorrow, from me and from everyone at the ABA."
She reached for his hand. "Thank you."
Mike took a seat over the bed and gently kissed her hand. "I’m so happy you’re doing this..."
Natalia looked at him questioningly. "What?"
"Taking the transplant..." The boy took a deep breath before continuing. "I want to have time."
"Time for what?"
"Time for showing you how much I care about you." Natalia opened her mouth in surprise but she couldn’t say a word. Mike smiled sheepishly. "I do, Natalia, I care a lot about you and I want to be able to show you how much. You don’t know what was for me to find you lying unconscious... I prayed so hard for you to live... And now I won’t miss the chance I’ve gotten." He took her hand to his lips again and then stroked gently her cheek. "You don’t have to do anything but allow me to show you, all right?"
A single tear crossed Natalia’s cheek though she was smiling. "Thank you, Mike," she murmured.
"You don’t have to thank me anything, baby. I’d do anything you want me to..."
They spent some more time talking and making plans for the future months. They both knew hard months lied ahead for her, but now she was not alone. Someone was there for her besides her parents, just as Monica had promised her, and the expectation of new sweet moments to live gave the ballerina an extra desire to get through the transplant and survive the leukemia. At the end, when Mike was about to say good bye, Natalia asked him a favor. "Mike, before you go, could you please call Andrew? I think he must be with Monica."
"Natalia..." Mike felt somehow upset even if Andrew had always been kind with him.
"It’s nothing about that, I promise. I’d like to talk to Monica, but I know she can’t come. Please?"
****
Even if she was scared of needles, Monica hadn’t complained much about being pecked once and again. This time, it was time for her to have the IV attached for the marrow harvest the next day, so Andrew held her and buried her face in his chest while the nurse introduced the needle in her already sensitive left hand. "I promise this is the last one," the nurse apologized and smiled at Andrew in compassion when they both heard the muffled sob Monica released at feeling the needle getting into her vein.
The blond angel helped Monica to lay down again and kissed her forehead. "You’ve been brave, baby," he murmured and wiped away the tears that were running from her eyes. "And after tomorrow, I’m planning on pampering you for a long time."
"You will spoil me," she replied smiling.
He couldn’t help but smile. "I don’t care, I have all the right." He was tucking her in bed when a light knock at the door made them turn, and Mike appeared on the room.
"I hope I’m not bothering you..."
"Oh, no, Mike, it’s ok. Come in," Andrew answered.
"I... I came to ask you a favor, Andrew," Mike said. "Natalia wants to see you before the operation."
Suddenly there was an uncomfortable silence between the three of them until Monica broke it. "Go, Andrew. I know this is hard for all of us, especially for you two, but you have to go. I’m ok."
The angel of death kissed her hand again. "You’re right, angel. I’ll go."
This time another soft knock alerted Natalia that someone was at her door. She smiled weakly when she saw Andrew coming. "Thanks for coming, Andrew," the ballerina started and offered him a seat with her free hand. "After all I’ve done, the first thing I want to do is to apologize."
"It’s not necessary..." Andrew began but she stopped him.
"It is. I gave you a really hard time and I know I have no excuse. And now, after all I made, Monica still will save my life... I don’t know what to say." Some tears had appeared in her eyes and were now crossing her cheeks. "Could you please forgive me one day?"
Andrew moved form the chair to her bed and swiped at her tears with his thumbs. "We don’t have anything to forgive, Natalia. You’re human and humans make mistakes... and so do angels sometimes." Hearing the giggle he was looking for, he cupped her face tenderly. "Monica and I are happy that you chose life instead of death."
"Will I see you again if I survive the transplant?" Her voice revealed a clear note of fear.
"I don’t know, but I think so. I can tell you God didn’t give you another chance to take it away so soon. You’ll have a new life tomorrow, Natalia, and you have to remember you’ve been especially blessed once and again, ok?" Natalia nodded weakly still crying. "God bless you, little one," the angel said kissing her forehead.
The girl grabbed him by the shirt and kissed him on the cheek. "Will you thank Monica for all this?"
"Of course I will," Andrew said smiling.
****
Normally afraid of darkness, Monica had never feared a sunrise more than this one. She was awaken since very early but tried not to disturb Andrew, who was sleeping more or less calmly seated on a chair and leaning over her bed. When he finally woke up, she had long ago forgotten about sleeping. The first hours of the morning passed in Andrew’s attempts to make her relax, but her hand clutched his tightly when Richard, Tess and two young men appeared at her door with a stretcher ready to carry her to the OR.
"Monica, I really want to thank you for this," Richard told her. Sensing her fear, he continued, "I know I don’t have a way to repay you for saving my daughter’s life and the only one thing I can do is to promise I’ll be especially careful with you. All the procedure is quite uncomfortable, to say the least, but I’ll do everything with even more care so the discomfort will be minimal, ok?"
"Will you be there, Tess?" Monica asked with the tone of a little girl.
"Of course, baby, I’ll assist Dr. Harris."
"And you’ll be back in less than you expect, sweetheart," Andrew said kissing her cheek.
"Ok." Monica let them take her to the OR and saw how another doctor adding a medicine to her IV. She was aware they were counting the time, but soon everything was black for her and she lost conscience of anything around...
The next thing she’d remember was that she was standing in the middle of a forest where trees had yellow and red leaves and there was a slightly cold breeze. "A special present from the Father," whispered on her ear a male voice that he recognize at once. "We have about one hour while they harvest the bone marrow."
Andrew took her hand and leaded her to a spot she recognized at once as the place where Tess had found them and had told them about the assignment. They took a seat on the ground; he leaned against the trunk and she cuddled in his lap. "I hope you don’t mind I chose the book again," he told her showing her The Sonnets by William Shakespeare. "There’s one I picked up for you..."
"Why is my verse so barren of new pride?
So far from variation or quick change?
Why, with the time, do I not glance aside
To new-found methods and to compounds strange?
Why write I still all one, ever the same,
And keep invention in a noted weed,
That every word doth almost tell my name,
Showing their birth, and where they did proceed?
O know, sweet love, I always write of you,
And you and love are still my argument;
So all my best is dressing old words new,
Spending again what is already spent;
For as the sun is daily new and old,
So is my love still telling what is told.
When they realized time was out and Andrew knew they had to go back. "I promise you’ll see me when you wake up," he told her kissing her forehead lovingly.
And so it was. When Monica opened her eyes, the first thing she saw were Andrew’s green eyes full with the love she always found there. "Hello, sleeping beauty," he greeted her.
"Hey," she murmured still half asleep.
"You have visitors," Andrew told her, and Adam and Tess came closer to her bed.
"Hello, beautiful," the other angel of death told her.
"Hello, baby," the supervisor said. "I’m so proud of you!"
"How did everything go?" the little angel asked fighting not to fall asleep again.
"Perfectly well, baby," Tess answered. "They got the bone marrow and the mother cells. Natalia will get them today and tomorrow."
"Great... OUCH!" she couldn’t help but shout when she tried to move and her hip grazed the mattress.
"Don’t move, baby!" Andrew was quick to soothe her and to wipe away the tear that came unbidden to her eye.
"Andrew is right, angel girl. You have eight punctures in each hip. I’m afraid that will hurt for a little while..."
Monica sighed deeply to stop complaining.
"The Father knew why it was you the donor," Adam said reading in her gesture. "Any other angel wouldn’t be so brave. This is only one proof of your strength, Monica, the strength we three admire on you..."
Monica blushed slightly. "I don’t feel too strong right now to be honest," she chuckled weakly.
"Why don’t you try to sleep, baby?" Tess suggested. "The anesthesia must be still hitting on you."
"Ok... Will you be here?" she asked drifting off to sleep.
"I won’t go anywhere," Andrew replied stroking her cheek delicately and squeezing her hand.
****
Mary Ann heard the sound of steps coming closer and she smiled when she turned and saw the three angels walking towards her. She had been standing on the corridor, watching through the window at the room where her daughter was getting the mother cells.
Monica was limping slightly and Andrew had his arm around her waist to help her. "Oh, Monica, how are you?" she asked to her ex assistant.
"I’ve just been released," the little angel answered. "How’s Natalia doing?"
"She’s doing great! If there isn’t any complication, she may leave in four weeks..."
"I see..."
"I guess you’re going home to rest?" the doctor asked.
Andrew and Monica chuckled before answering. "Most definitely!" she replied.
"I want you to pamper her a lot, Andrew," Mary Ann said taking Monica’s hands. "She deserves that and much more!"
"I will, ma’am!" the angel of death assured her.
"Good morning," Mike interrupted them at the moment.
"Hello, Mike," Mary Ann said. "You came to see Natalia?"
"Yes," the boy said blushing slightly thought the big bouquet of white roses he was carrying spoke for itself. "I know she can’t have those with her, but at least she can know I brought them..."
"That’s very sweet from you!" the woman said. "I’m meeting Richard in a minute to know what’s new. You want to come with me?"
"Of course!"
"Ok, then, let’s go. Bye Monica, Andrew, Tess..." Mary Ann said hugging each of them.
They hugged her and shook hands with Mike too. When the blond angel shook hands with his ex student, he leaned down. "Next time, bring them red," he said referring to the roses, and blinked an eye in complicity.
Mary Ann and he saw the angels starting to walk away and they turned to go to Richard’s office. Suddenly, Mary Ann remembered she hadn’t said thank you again... but when she turned around, the angels were nowhere in sight...

THE END
BTW, I didn’t say this before: I took the short tale at the beginning from Ernest Hemingway’s First forty-nine short stories and the sonnet from William Shakespeare’s Sonnets. The songs are The Rose by Beth Middler for the one of the title, and for the ones at the party, The lady in red by Chris De Burgh and Strangers in the night by Mel Torme.

I say love is a flower (alternate version) chap 8 - 9

2004-11-04T13:36:00.000-08:00

Chapter 8

Richard and Mary Ann stood up quickly and quite scared when they saw their daughter running across the ballroom and towards the door. They tried to stop her and just then Adam and Tess saw Monica and Andrew getting in a hurry behind the ballerina. All the six finally gathered at the main entrance where Natalia was no where in sight.
"Baby, what happened?" Tess asked to a rather pale Monica.
"She saw us, Tess," Andrew started to explain.
"Saw what?" Mary Ann and Richard have also came near the angels.
Monica blushed deeply and looked away, unable to resist her boss’ sight. Andrew noticed this and took her hand reassuringly. "Natalia saw me holding Monica," he said slowly, already dreading the doctor’s response.
"Monica!" Mary Ann almost shouted to her assistant and then turned to see Adam. "But how? I thought you..."
"No," the older angel of death said understanding what she was thinking. "Monica and I are not dating... if that was what you were thinking."
"Andrew," Richard interrupted. "Are you and Monica...?"
"No, Richard, we are not" the blond angel said tightening his grip on the little angel’s hand.
"Then?!" the man shouted running a hand through his hair. "Why were you alone there? Why did you make my daughter think you cared about her?!" He faced the angel and everybody could see a barely repressed fury in his expression.
But before the angel could try an explanation, Mary Ann’s voice interrupted any argument. "This is all my fault! Oh, God, what have I done?"
"Mary Ann, what...?"
"I asked Andrew to do this, Richard!" She explained to her husband, a horrible feeling of guilt filling up her heart. "I asked him to keep on visiting her even when I knew she had a crush on him and he had warned me he couldn’t correspond her".
"Are you crazy, woman?!" Richard snapped at her wife.
"I needed to give her some illusion! She had lost hope, she wanted to die!" the woman started to cry and her husband wrapped an arm around her shoulders feeling somewhat guilty for shouting at her.
"A lie never ends well, baby" Tess admonished her looking at Andrew with a face of ‘we’ll discuss this later, Mr. Halo’.
"I know, but I was desperate..." she murmured, her face buried in her husband’s chest. "Is that so hard to understand?"
"No, Mary Ann, it isn’t" Monica’s secure voice made a contrast with her previous ashamed expression. "We all made mistakes. You, Andrew and me. But instead of blaming each other what we have to care for is Natalia."
"I’ll go ask if someone saw her leaving" Adam offered.
"I should’ve listened to you, Andrew," the psychologist continued. "Now, what am I going to tell my daughter?"
"The truth," Monica answered looking into Andrew’s green eyes. "We all have to tell her the truth... God will help us to."
A minute later, Adam came back and Mike, Jonathan and even William reached the group. "The man at the door says he saw her leaving and the guys of the valet parking say she crossed the street and headed towards Central Park," the angel informed.
"What’s going on?" Jonathan asked.
"Natalia left the theater and we don’t know where she is," Richard said. "We have to find her."
"We’ll help," William offered with a convincing worried tone even if Andrew was watching him in distrust.
Once they had decided to go to different places, the four angels headed towards Tess’ Cadillac. The supervisor and Adam were going to the lake in Central Park while Andrew and Monica had decided to go to the south part, but a "not so fast, Mr. Halo," made them stop. "I think we have some points to make clear, angel boy," Tess added. "I don’t want to believe you really told her you were falling in love."
"Of course I didn’t, Tess! I can’t lie, remember? Mary Ann asked me to keep on visiting her. At that moment I couldn’t see another way to be near my ‘assignment’ and I accepted, that was my mistake! I never promised her anything, there’s no way I could do that!"
His pleading eyes and the fervor in his voice moved the old angel, who knew her angel boy was telling nothing but the truth. "I know, baby," she said hugging him. "I’m sorry. I didn’t want to bother you. Now let’s move. Only God knows where that girl is and what she’s thinking right now." They got into the car and the supervisor took the street. "I’ll drop you on 65th street and we’ll meet at the cross with the 5th Avenue in an hour, ok?"
****
Monica and Andrew saw the red car going away and the blond angel sighed in concern. "Ok, why don’t you go to West drive and I’ll go towards the lake. It’s not too late and I hope she’s not too far if she’s here."
Monica saw him walking away and sighed feeling somewhat guilty for the worry in his eyes. "I’m sorry, Father," she murmured looking at the sky. "I’ve been selfish and I didn’t help him the way Tess told me I had to. Please, let me help him now, let us find Natalia."
The little angel walked and walked around the park but couldn’t find the ballerina. She kept on praying, longing to hear the Father’s voice telling her where to go. Almost one hour later she reached the Lehman gates where Andrew had told her to meet him and waited a couple of minutes for him. She saw him walking towards her, sweating after the long walk. "Anything?" she asked him.
"No, nothing," he sighed heavily. "God, I wish I knew where to go!"
Suddenly he felt her soft hand in his and he turned to find her eyes fixed on his face. "Andrew, I’m sorry. I made this time so hard for you."
Her slightly trembling voice did him and he didn’t waste a minute in holding her tightly. "This is not your fault, Monica. I should’ve told you..."
"I didn’t give you much of a chance... I’ve always told you I trusted you and it didn’t seem like I do this time... I was jealous," she added after some moments.
He chuckled quietly at her childlike tone. "You know you have no reason to be jealous," he pulled apart and pinched her nose tenderly.
She wrapped her arms around his neck, her eyes bright with joy. "I know it now," she placed a soft kiss on his cheek. "I love you."
"I love you too," he said holding her tightly.
They stayed there for some minutes. Finally, never releasing her hold, Monica murmured, "Tess and Adam should be here already."
"You read my mind" Andrew added. He checked his watch and he saw it was 15 minutes passed the hour they had said they would’ve been meeting there. "It’s strange."
"Yeah..." Monica turned around looking for their friends.
A feeling of unease started in Andrew’s heart but he forced himself to think it was because there were less and less people on the street. He reached for Monica’s hand not wanting her to be far from him, but this didn’t bring peace to his heart.
As the minutes passed he felt even more anxious and when he heard the siren of an ambulance, he tightened his grip on Monica’s hand. "Oh no, Father, please!" he murmured.
"Andrew?" Monica asked in concern. "What’s going on?"
They saw the ambulance passing along the 5th Avenue and he said in a hurry: "We need to go."
****
Monica and Andrew spotted the red Cadillac on the parking lot and hurried into the hospital. When they reached the ER ward, they saw Tess hugging a crying Mary Ann. Both angels froze at the sight, Andrew knowing what had happened and Monica foreboding it. Adam approached them as soon as he saw them and read the fear in his partner’s face.
"Adam?" Monica was the first to speak. "What happened? Is it Natalia?"
"Yes, baby girl," he answered quietly and then looked at Andrew. "Her mother found her in her bathroom. She... tried to commit suicide."
****

Chapter 9

"I have to go now," Andrew told Monica and Adam after a few seconds of silence. Monica released his hand and saw him walking towards the corridor soon taking his angelic form.
****
Andrew looked at the doctors working frantically, ordering an immediate transfusion of blood and fluids. The cheeks that hours before were rosy looked now drained of all color, and among the voices, the angel could easily identify Richard’s strong one. He took a deep breath and go closer to the girl, leaning down to talk into her ear. "Natalia, I need you to pay attention to me, please."
A second later, Natalia was standing besides Andrew. The angel smiled at her, a trace of sadness evident in his eyes. "But what?" the ballerina asked confused. Andrew indicated her to turn around and then she saw the doctors working on what she could recognize as her own body.
"This is what’s happening right now, Natalia. This is the consequence of your actions."
"And what do you care about it?! I’m worthy for nobody! Nobody cares about me!" she shouted angrily.
"I do care, Natalia, and so do many people around you, but especially God cares. He doesn’t want you to die," the angel said trying to show her the truth.
"But I do want to die!" she cried. "I do, I don’t want to live anymore! Please, Andrew, I want to die!"
"Not today," he said as he disappeared.
The next thing Natalia knew was that she was regaining consciousness, trying to focus her blurry vision on the faces of the nurses that were around her.
****
Two hours later Monica saw Andrew walking back to the waiting room and she immediately stood up from the couch where she was seated besides her supervisor and her temporary chief.
"What happened?" she asked to the angel of death. "Did she...?"
"No," he answered. "Not this time."
Monica sighed in relief and then they heard Mary Ann’s voice addressing to her husband. "Richard, what happened?"
"She’ll live..." he said holding his wife and looking at the three angels that were there too. "She lost a lot of blood but I think we find her just in time. Some minutes more and she wouldn’t have made it."
"Thanks God!" Tess replied.
"Yeah... Still she’s not out of danger. Because of the lost of blood she’s extremely weak and she won’t be able to continue with her treatment for the leukemia."
"But if she doesn’t, she won’t have the chance to recover!" Monica reasoned.
"That’s right," the doctor said. "We’re running out of options here, there’s just one left but it’s the most risky one."
"What is it?" Andrew asked.
"She needs to get a bone marrow transplant as soon as possible. With the kind of leukemia she has, the lymphoblasts number will increase as her body tries to produce the blood she lost. The transfusions will help her and stop this for a few days, but if she doesn’t get the transplant, her condition will be worse in a matter of days, nothing more..."
"She has to be on the list," Mary Ann said referring to the list of transplants.
"She’s already," Richard explained. "But we have to get the closest match we can find so the chances of a reject will be smaller. Otherwise she’s too weak to fight a reaction..."
"We have to be tested, Richard. Maybe one of us would be the best match."
"We’ll be of course, but we have to find more options if possible. her friends, her classmates, whoever it is."
"I’ll talk to Jonathan Michels," Andrew offered. "We can ask all the people at the ABC to come and get tested."
"Thanks, Andrew," the doctor said. "And can I ask the two of you another favor?"
"Sure."
"Could you be tested now?"
Andrew turned to look at Monica knowing she was afraid of needles. He took her hand and squeezed it tightly. "Of course," he answered for the two.
"Thank you! Please, come with me, you too, Mary Ann, we don’t have much time."
****
Andrew wrapped his arm protectively around Monica’s shoulder as soon as they left the little room where the samples were taken. "You’ve earned a big moka latte, angel girl," he said and smiled when he listened the giggle he was looking for. "You were brave there."
She bent her left arm to hold the piece of cotton she had and circled his waist with the other. "I was because you were there with me." She looked at him with such bright eyes that the blond angel couldn’t help but bend down and kiss her on the cheek.
"Hmm... That was a good prize but I still want the moka," the little angel teased him.
Andrew rolled his eyes and held her closer. "Ok, ok, let’s go for it."
They walked down the corridor and arrived to the oncology front desk just in time to see William getting into Natalia’s room. "What is he doing here?" Andrew said and he was ready to go after him but Monica stopped him.
"No, Andrew, wait. Let’s find Richard or Mary Ann instead."
William didn’t even care of knocking at the door of the ballerina’s room. She was sleeping and the only sound was the constant beep of her heart monitor. The choreographer walked to the bed, took a seat on it and put a strand of her hair behind her ear. Feeling him doing this, the girl woke up.
"What are you doing here?" she said with a harsh voice.
"Shh... I wanted to see you," William said in a tender tone. "You scared me, baby."
"Don’t call me like that, please." Natalia felt too weak to try to argue about something she had wanted to be over.
"Why, sweetheart? Why did you do this? Didn’t you think I’d die too if you died?"
"William, please, leave me alone," she said trying to get rid of the hand that was stroking her face.
"I love you, Natalia. You’ve hurt me so much but I forgive you. All I want is things just as they were before."
"N-no..."
"I’m gonna show you how much I love you, baby," he said and taking advantage of her weakness, he held her hand tightly and leaned down to kiss her.
But at that exact moment Mary Ann opened the door and saw them. "Natalia!" she shouted making William jump and stand up quickly. "But how do you dare...?" she asked the choreographer. "And you?" she turned to her daughter. "Get out of here!" she ordered to the dancer with a clear note of fury in her voice. She waited until the door was closed. "I’m so disappointed on you, Natalia!" she started to say. "All this because you saw Andrew with another woman and the first thing you do is kiss another guy. And he’s your teacher for God’s sake! How could you do that?"
"Don’t you dare to judge me, mother!" the girl shouted through her tears, her previous weakness now forgotten. "You have no right! This is my life and I’m the one who decides what to do with it! You’ve made decisions for me long enough now, like study ballet and go to the ABC, but no more!"
"And what you’ve decided is to finish it over?"
"Yes!" her answer let her mother frozen. "And if you don’t like it, then start asking yourself what you saved me for!"
Mary Ann found herself out of words and left the room in silence, not wanting to believe what her daughter had said. She walked to the waiting room where Andrew, Monica and Tess were expecting her. "I can’t believe it!" she said as soon as she joined them. "They were kissing when I arrived there!"
"Who?" Richard asked arriving at that moment.
"Natalia and William White!" his wife explained.
"No way!"
"The mysterious boyfriend was not a fellow classmate as you thought, Mary Ann," Monica remarked. "That’s why she didn’t tell you about him."
"You mean that they had been together for a long time?" the man asked.
"Yes," Andrew explained. "In fact, it was him who I fought with the other day. He... hum... he hit her before I got into his office."
Mary Ann brought her hand to her mouth and Richard ran an exasperated hand over his hair. "Oh God! How could we be so blind?"
"They hide it very well," the angel of death said in an effort to make them felt less guilty. "I found out accidentally and to be honest, I pushed Natalia until she told me the truth."
"And why didn’t you tell us? Why didn’t you tell Monica or Tess?"
"She made me promise I wouldn’t. I wanted her to trust me first, so..." he shook his head before he continued. "She had broken him up the day we fought. I saw him pushing her into his office so I followed them and that’s why I was so close when he hit her."
"I’m gonna suit this big idiot!" Richard shouted.
"You don’t have a way to prove it," Mary Ann replied.
"Natalia can testify!"
"She won’t. She’s just shouted at me and asked me not to take any more decisions for her. She insists she wants to die."
"God, help us find a way!" the doctor exclaimed.
"You know? That’s a good start," Monica said squeezing his forearm encouragingly. "Ask God to help you, to help all of us." The doctor looked directly at her eyes and felt the peace his wife had felt days before. He nodded in silence and all of them remained in silence for some minutes before Mary Ann remembered something.
"By the way, Richard, were you coming to tell us something special?"
"Oh, yes... I guess all this surprised me so much I forgot... And I don’t know how I could!"
"What is it?"
"We found a perfect match for the transplant."
"Really?" Mary Ann exclaimed.
"Who?" Andrew asked simultaneously.
"You won’t believe this," the doctor said. "But it’s you, Monica."

I say love is a flower (alternate version) chap 6 - 7

2004-11-04T13:34:00.000-08:00

Chapter 6

Monica was standing on a balcony of the hospital and never noticed a tall handsome man that startled her by placing his strong hands over her shoulders. "What a nice surprise to find a beautiful angel here!" he said as a way of greeting.
"Adam!" she tried to sound as cheerful as she could though she had to wipe her tears away before turning to face him. "What are you doing here?"
"I’d say that the Father sent me here and now I guess I know why." The little angel looked away and Adam tilted her face carefully. "What’s wrong Monica?" As she remained silent, he asked: "It’s Andrew?"
She nodded and then whispered timidly: "It’s his assignment. She has a crush on him and I’m afraid..."
Adam chuckled before answering. "Come on, Monica, you know that it happens sometimes with assignments. Even you have had some experiences like that!"
"But I’ve never kissed them, and today I saw Andrew kissing his assignment."
"Monica, there must be a mistake," the older angel told her but made a mental note about looking for his partner and ask for an explanation. "Honey, you know angels can’t fall in love."
"I don’t know if he is..." she murmured. "I never thought I could feel disappointed on him." She started to cry and Adam hugged her.
"People you love can disappoint you sometimes, you know that. I promise I’ll talk to him, sweetie but please don’t cry." He remained there, hugging her until she calmed down.
Neither Adam nor Monica saw Mary Ann that had found them in her way to the cafeteria. She saw the two angels talking calmly and when she saw them hugging, she left them feeling she was interrupting something else...
***
Next day in the afternoon, Andrew walked down the corridor towards Natalia’s room, a feeling of unease very present in his heart. He hadn’t found Monica during the last night and he had had to go to the academy to give his class even if his original assignment was not there. The blond angel was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t see Adam until they met at Natalia’s door.
"About time, angel boy," the older angel said to his partner. "I was wondering if you were coming at all."
"Hey, Adam! What are you doing here?"
"No reason to lie: I was looking for you."
Andrew knew easily what his friend was saying. "You’ve seen Monica..." the green eyed angel said as an statement, not as a question.
"And I want to hear your version of the facts, pal."
"Not here." Andrew and Adam walked to a near waiting room that they found empty. "You know I never meant to hurt her. I love her, how could I ever want to make her suffer? This is a mistake that I don’t know how to mend!"
"She said she saw you kissing your assignment. Is she wrong?"
"No." Andrew buried his hands in his pants pockets and shrugged his shoulders. "I never thought Natalia had a crush on me."
"But you came back today," the older angel pointed.
"I have no choice! This is my job!"
The older angel felt compassion for his friend’s pleading eyes and sighed heavily shaking his head. "And you have a job to do even if you don’t like it."
"But I want to make up things with her, Adam. I don’t want her to be so mad at me!"
"I’ll talk to her again, and you should do that too... Tonight, a lonely table in a nice place, candles, music..."
Andrew chuckled slightly even if his eyes still reflected worry. Yes, that was a great idea... "Thanks, I’ll follow your advice."
"Any time. Now go." Adam looked at his pocket watch before leaving. "I have someone in about five minutes. See you later."
***
A soft knock at her door woke Natalia up. "Come in," she said in a very low voice.
"Hi, how are you feeling?" Andrew walked into the room with a vase with a single sunflower. "I thought you may like it."
"It’s beautiful, thank you."
"Your classmates send their greetings. Mike said he would come later." He took a seat near her bed.
"I- I don’t want to see anyone." Some tears started to prick her eyes and the angel felt somehow guilty, though he knew she shouldn’t isolate herself.
"They like you, Natalia. They are worried about you."
"I don’t want to see them. The only thing I’ll get from them is pity and I don’t want it."
"They are your friends..."
"I don’t have any friends! I don’t deserve to have friends!"
"What are you saying, girl? Of course you deserve to have friends." Andrew was trying to be as tender as he always was and wiped her tears away while he continued to speak in a very soothing way. "Why do you think so?"
"Because I’m being punished. I’ve done everything wrong and God is punishing me. I should’ve never become involved with William! I deserve what’s happening to me!"
"No, Natalia. This is not a punishment" he took a seat on the bed and hugged her.
"Then what is it? Tell me, Andrew. I’ve always spoiled things," she murmured through her sobs.
"You can get over leukemia," he continued stroking her hair. "It’s not a punishment, it’s just and illness not death itself."
"But I want to die!" The ballerina’s words made him shudder. "I don’t want to keep on living, I just want to stop suffering, I want to die!"
"Nonsense! Please, calm down. This can’t be good for you!" Feeling her relax, he helped her to lay down again. "Try to sleep and let the medicine to do its job. You’ll see in a few days you’ll feel better."
He stayed with her for a while until she was sound asleep, an unpleasant feeling of remorse growing up deep inside of him. His assignment had told him she considered her illness as a punishment from God and he had been unable to make her see the truth. He knew he had had a perfect chance to speak the Father’s truth to her and he had let it pass. He closed his eyes for some seconds and wished Monica had been there. She would’ve known what to say, he needed her more than any time before but he had hurt her and now needed to find the way to get her forgiveness. When he was sure Natalia wouldn’t wake up, Andrew left the room just to find Mary Ann outside.
"Is she asleep?" she asked walking towards the angel.
"Yeah."
"Andrew, can I talk to you in my office for a minute, please?"
Once they were there, Mary Ann invited him to take a seat and started to talk. "How did you see her?"
Andrew sighed heavily before answering. "I don’t know what to say. She’s really sad, depressed... she doesn’t want to see her classmates..."
"She’s isolating herself and that’s not good." Mary Ann met his green eyes and seeing him nod, she continued. "I need to ask you a favor."
"Sure."
"She really likes you, Andrew. I need you to keep on visiting her."
"Well... yes," he said shrugging his shoulders. "I had thought I would keep on coming."
"You don’t understand me. She likes you. You’re the only one she wants to see, you’re the only one she’s expecting to see!"
"Doctor, I..." the blond angel had a sudden feeling of fear: he could say where she was going.
"I want you to keep on visiting her! I want you to make your visits an illusion for my daughter!" the woman had stood up and was pacing all along her office.
"That’s not a good idea. She’s expecting something else from me that I can’t give her..."
"I know!" she was almost shouting.
"I can’t correspond her the way she wants me to!"
"I know, I know, I supposed so, and I wouldn’t be asking you this if I were not so desperate!"
"You’re asking me to lie at her!"
"I’m asking you to give her a reason to live! Please, Andrew!"
The sound of the door opening interrupted them and Mary Ann blinked to fight back her tears when she saw her assistant coming into the office, while Andrew felt his heart jumping at her sight.
"I’m sorry..." she excused herself. "I didn’t mean to interrupt you." She went to her desk barely looking at the blond angel and took her bag. "I’ll see you tomorrow, Mary Ann."
Andrew saw her leaving and he had to force himself to stay there and not running to reach her. "Mary Ann," he said as soon as the door was closed again, "I can’t love her as she wants me to."
"I’m not asking you to marry her!" the psychologist said with a trembling voice. "Just, please, keep on visiting her, making her feel she matters to someone else other than her father or me!"
He met her teary gaze and felt he was between the devil and the deep blue sea. After a minute of silence, he accepted. "Ok, but I will not promise her anything."
"Thank you!" she said taking his hand in hers. "Thank you."
The blond angel nodded and walked out of the office. As soon as he reached the main corridor, he ran towards the little angel he still could see at the end. "Monica!" he said grabbing her arm and feeling her shudder at his touch. "Monica, please, we need to talk!"
She had stopped walking and had closed her eyes when she felt him. "Andrew..."
He gently guided her to turn and face him, his green eyes bright with expectation. She opened her eyes and met his. He cupped her face tenderly and let his right hand brush her cheek. "I know what you saw yesterday, Monica, but please, you have to believe me. I didn’t kiss her."
"I know..." she murmured placing her hands over his. "I believe you, Andrew, I want to believe you."
"Baby, you don’t know how relieved I feel," he said touching her forehead with his and then kissing it.
She wrapped her arms around his waist, rested her head over his chest and added softly: "I want to believe you, but I’m still hurting so much... I close my eyes and I see you and her."
He held her closer feeling terribly defeated at knowing he had no way to erase that image from her mind. "I wish I could make you forget it, Monica," he whispered. "I’d give anything for it, but I can’t, baby. I’m sorry." He kept on holding her for a little more. "Please, tell me you’ll try to forget it"
"I’m sorry," she said starting to cry. "I can’t do it, Andrew, I can’t!" and before he could stop her, she ran away and disappeared on the long corridor.

Chapter 7

(Lyrics taken from ‘The Rose’ by Bette Midler and ‘The lady in red’ by Chris de Burgh)
It had been a week since the night Natalia arrived to the hospital and by now, all she was waiting for was the hour when Andrew would visit her, but for the angel... more than waiting for it, he was dreading that hour of the day. Every night he left the hospital feeling more desperate as another day had passed and he hadn’t seen Monica while he had spent the afternoon with a young girl whose eyes sparkled with every smile he gave her.
"You’re miles away" Natalia told him as he had remained silent for long minutes.
"Sorry" he said. "I was thinking about some things from the academy."
"Like what?"
"Like the ball next week, right Andrew?" Mary Ann’s voice interrupted him. The angel of death turned to see her and Tess, who had gotten in after Natalia’s mother.
"Hello, Andrew, long time no see," the old supervisor said as she changed the girl’s empty IV.
"Hi, Tess."
"What ball, mom?" Natalia asked.
"The annual ball from the ABC, honey! It’s next week and guess who’s the guest of honor this time? You!" Mary Ann wanted to jump when she saw her daughter smiling for the first time since they had found she had leukemia.
"Me? Are you sure? But how? Why?"
"Positive, baby. Mr. Jonathan Michels called me in the morning and told me so."
"But how am I supposed to go?" the ballerina said indicating her IV.
"It’s all up to you, baby," Tess assured her. "I heard your dad saying that you could be released as soon as tomorrow."
"See? There’s no reason for you not going to the ball, sweetheart," Mary Ann said. "Of course you’re invited too, Tess, and so is Monica. I’ll tell her tomorrow. Andrew, can I ask you a favor?"
"Sure."
"Could you escort the guest of honor to the ball that day?" she squeezed her daughter’s hand and smiled at her.
"I-I..." Andrew stuttered and he turned to see Tess, and he saw her nodding with a ‘you have no choice’ expression written on her face. "Ok," he managed to say, "I’d be honored."
Happy as she was, Natalia never noticed the tinge of deception in his voice. "Thanks, mom!" she said wrapping her arms around her neck, "I can’t wait for next week!"
****
Next morning, when Monica arrived to the office, she found Mary Ann and Tess already there. "Hello, baby," her supervisor said as soon as she saw her.
"Hi, Tess. Good morning, Mary Ann."
"Monica, I’m glad you arrived early. I’m not coming to work since tomorrow and I wanted to give you some instructions before I leave. I have a million things to do with the ball, you know?"
"What ball?" the little angel asked.
"This one," her chief explained handling her an envelope with her name on it. "You can go with whoever you want to."
"Thank you, Mary Ann. I’ll go."
"Great. Now, I leave you but I’ll be right back. I’m gonna see two or three doctors that are invited as well, Richard’s friends, you know?" she said walking towards the door. "By the way," she added before leaving, "your friend Andrew is going too. He’s escorting Natalia."
Monica blinked several times to control the tears she suddenly felt tingening in her eyes and then threw the invitation over her desk. Seeing this and knowing exactly what her angel girl was feeling, Tess came closer to her and hugged her. "Andrew is going with her?" the Irish angel asked.
"Baby, he had no choice."
"Why, Tess? He’s done things like this before but I’ve never felt so angry!" Her voice was a barely audible whisper through her crying. "I’m even doubting if he still loves me as he used to."
"Monica, you can’t doubt that!"
"Of course I’m doubting!" she said pulling away from her friend’s hug. "Things are so complicated now! It seems like he has to be with her more and more everyday!"
"Natalia’s wellbeing is Andrew’s priority right now, and not only his but ours as well. I know you’re angry and I know it bothers you to see him with her, but you have to trust him and trust the Father to lead you to do what you have to do..."
"But it’s so hard sometimes..." the little angel continued as she struggled to control her tears.
Tess remained silent for a second thinking on what to say, and then she asked, "baby, do you remember the song I sang for Andrew the day you first met?"
"In the wedding? ‘The Rose’?"
"Yeap... Do you remember what it says about love?"
"Hmm... ‘I say love, it is a flower and you its only seed’" Monica answered regaining herself.
"Yes," the dark skinned angel interrupted her. "But it also says: ‘Just remember in the winter/ far beneath the bitter snows,/ lies the seed that with the sun’s love/ in the spring becomes the rose.’ I sang it for him, but because you were there too. Don’t ask me why, but I knew since that moment that you two would come to have such a nice relationship. And I wasn’t wrong. Just remember what the song says, angel girl: no matter how long you feel the winter is, the spring will always come after it and the seed will become the rose. Your love and friendship is that seed, baby. Andrew loves you, just wait a little more. It will always be worth waiting."
Silent tears were still crossing the little angel’s cheeks while her supervisor talked, but a great peace washed her heart as she spoke. At the end, she closed her eyes and sighed before she met the older angel’s gaze. "I will, Tess," she said hugging her again. "Thank you."
****
Even after their conversation, Monica didn’t see Andrew the rest of the week. The little angel had to take care of all the patients and the paper work, and with Natalia out of the hospital, Andrew was not around all the afternoon, so the chances to see him were even smaller.
The night of the ball Andrew arrived at 6:30 sharp to Natalia’s house. The ballerina was ready with a nice black dress and high hills. The illusion of the ball had made wonders on her: her cheeks were pink again and her eyes reflected joy, none would’ve believed she had blood cancer just by seeing her that night.
Once they arrived to the academy, the angel of death took a seat a little behind his assignment while Richard and Mary Ann remained at the entrance, waiting for Monica and Tess to arrive.
"Hello, Dr. Rosenberg," the little angel was trying to sound cheerful, though it was pretty obvious she was sad. "This is Adam," she said introducing her friend to her temporary chief.
"Nice to meet you," Mary Ann shook the angel’s hand. "Andrew is already there with Natalia. Come on in, please." She walked them to their table. "I want you to share the table with us. Honey, look who’s here," she said talking to her daughter.
This time Natalia didn’t miss Andrew’s glance at Monica. She was wearing a tight red dress and the deep color of the fabric gave a special light to her pale skin and to her auburn hair.
"Take a seat," Mary Ann’s voice ordered and the blond angel busied himself in helping Monica with her chair as the psychologist indicated her to take a seat besides him. Neither Tess nor Adam missed the smile they shared at finally being together again.
Time passed in an awkward way as for his friends it was obvious that Andrew longed to talk to Monica and that he was doing everything to pay attention to the Rosenberg’s animated chatting. They ate a four courses meal and were already taking coffee and dessert when the music filled up the place.
The clear notes of a piano brought sudden memories for three angels at the table. ‘Some say love it is a river/ that drowns the tender reed’... Tess’ eyes met Andrew’s first and then Monica’s and she smiled as she saw her angel babies looking at each other. ‘Some say love, it is a razor/ that leaves your soul to bleed’... She nodded at the blond angel when he turned to look at her again, his green eyes full of joy, but Natalia’s voice made him turn.
"Earth to Andrew!" He hadn’t noticed she was talking to him.
"Huh?"
"Can we dance?"
The angel of death felt his illusion disappearing and stood up, murmuring a ‘sure’ before looking quickly at Monica, who had bent down her head to hide her sad eyes. ‘Some say love, it is a hunger/ an endless aching need’... Adam and Tess noticed it and exchanged a rapid glimpse.
"May I...?" Adam said offering his hand.
Monica took it and they joined the other couples at the dance floor. "Thank you, Adam" she murmured, her eyes bright with tears.
"There’s nothing to thank, sweetie."
They danced in silence, Adam following the expressions on Monica and Andrew’s faces. When the song finished both couples walked towards the table, but Jonathan Michels asked Natalia to dance with him while another man did the same with Monica. Andrew saw her walking back to the floor and buried his hands in his pockets.
"Natalia is so happy!" Mary Ann told him when he reached the table. "I don’t know how to thank you, Andrew!"
He smiled and took a seat besides Adam, who immediately noticed his friend’s eyes were fixed on the little angel. Both saw her dance with another man until Adam couldn’t stand it more and told his partner, "Go ask her, pal." Surprised, Andrew turned to see him. "Go. Trust me." The older angel stood up and went to ask for a special song. Andrew followed his council and walked towards her when music started again.
I’ve never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight,
I’ve never seen you shine so bright.
"Monica?" he said and she turned immediately. "May I have this dance?" She was speechless but somehow she managed a timid ‘yes’.
I’ve never seen so many men ask if you wanted to dance,
they’re looking for a little romance, given half a chance...
They glided onto the floor and slowly the blond angel took her in his arms.
And I have never seen that dress you’re wearing
or the highlights in your hair that catch your eyes,
I have been blind.
The lady in red is dancing with me, cheek to cheek.
There’s nobody here, it’s just you and me.
It’s where I want to be.
But I hardly know this beauty by my side,
I’ll never forget the way you look tonight.
"You’re stunning" he murmured in her ear and felt her smiling. Andrew felt released and placed a soft kiss on her cheek, smelling her perfume.
I’ve never seen you looking so gorgeous as you did tonight,
I’ve never seen you shine so bright, you were amazing.
I’ve never seen so many people want to be there by your side,
and when you turned to me and smiled, it took my breath away.
And I had never had such a feeling,
such a feeling of complete and utter love, as I do tonight.
The lady in red is dancing with me, cheek to cheek.
There’s nobody here, it’s just you and me.
It’s where I want to be.
But I hardly know this beauty by my side,
I’ll never forget the way you look tonight.
The lady in red, the lady in red,
the lady in red, my lady in red...
I love you.
They swayed together until the last notes of the music. Andrew bent his head and kissed her cheek again. "Andrew..." the little angel murmured.
"Let’s go outside. We need to talk," he suggested wrapping her tightly in his arms.
They left the ball room as a new song started, and only Tess and Adam noticed them going out. Andrew guided Monica to a clear on the garden where there was none but them. He stood behind her and ran his hands over her soft arms. She closed her eyes and he took her face gently to make her turn. Only then he realized tears were crossing her cheeks. "Baby?" he asked with a concerned tone of voice.
"I’m sorry," she said starting to whimper.
He pulled her to his chest trying to calm her. "Monica, please."
"I can’t help it. She’s in love with you, Andrew. Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed!"
"She’s not. Besides you know I can’t love her!" he argued combing her hair with his fingers.
"But she doesn’t know. She’s pretty sure you do love her."
"Angel," he said pulling her away a little and cupping her face tenderly, "you know I can’t love her that way."
"I know!" she met his gaze through teary eyes. "Still I’m hurting and that’s because of you!"
"Why?"
It took her a second to regain herself and looked at his expecting eyes again, her voice now a barely audible whisper. "Because I can’t help to feel angry at her, at thinking we can’t be together as we used to... and I miss you."
Andrew didn’t let her continue as he held her tightly. "I miss you too, sweetheart. I miss your company, your advice, your support..." He buried his face in her silky hair. "We’ll make through this, Monica, I promise."
"I’m sorry, Andrew," she murmured. "I just miss our moments together."
While they were out, Natalia went back to their table with Mike, her classmate following her. Tess, Adam, Mary Ann and Richard were all talking animatedly, nonetheless the ballerina immediately noticed the younger angels’ absence.
"Where’s Andrew?"
"Hmm... He..." Tess suddenly found herself out of words.
"He might be dancing with someone..." Richard said turning on his chair and looking at the floor to look for the angel.
"I saw him walking towards the garden," Mike told them innocently.
"Oh, well, then I’ll go find him," Natalia said taking a glass of water with her. "Thanks, Mike."
Adam looked at Tess with almost scared eyes and saw his own expression mirrored on the dark skinned angel’s face. They saw her walking away but couldn’t find a good way to stop her.
Andrew and Monica were unaware of their friends’ dilemma as they were enjoying the first moment alone they had had in weeks. "After all this finishes, we’ll go to somewhere over the ocean you love so much, Monica, I promise."
Monica brought her hands to his face and murmured a ‘thank you’ before kissing him on the cheek and holding him close. He held her too until the sound of glass breaking over the floor made them quickly turn. "Natalia..." Andrew was the first to try to speak.
The ballerina was standing near them like frozen, her right hand covering her open mouth and she was shaking her head thinking she had seen something more between the angels.

I say love is a flower (alternate version) chap 4 - 5

2004-11-04T13:31:00.000-08:00

Chapter 4

It was noon after lunch a week later when Andrew arrived at the ABA. He was walking distractedly along the corridor when he saw William pushing Natalia towards his office. He couldn’t hear what they were saying as the choreographer’s words were silent recriminations. They got into the office but let the door open, so the blond angel cautiously approached it to try to listen.
"What do you think you’re doing, Natalia?" he began. "You’re ignoring me!"
"I’m tired of this, William. I want you to leave me alone!" Natalia’s words surprised Andrew but he was pleased to hear them.
"Tired of what?"
"Of you treating me like rubbish. I don’t deserve that!"
"Oh, you don’t, huh? Who’s been talking to you? Your new teacher, right?"
"Leave him out of this! It’s just me finally realizing you don’t love me!"
"But I do! I love you, you know that."
"That’s not love, William."
"Then what is it, huh? What was the first time I kissed you, the first time we..."
"I don’t know!" she interrupted him. "I don’t know what all these two years have been!"
Andrew couldn’t see them, but he could hear William’s muffled pacing. He was sure he didn’t expect this.
"I’ve helped you, Natalia. You’re so ungrateful. You don’t know how much you’re hurting me, honey."
The blond angel knew this was the critical part: if he managed to convince her, then what he had told her would mean nothing.
"Don’t try that this time, William. I’m not believing your lies this time."
"What lies can be when I tell you I love you and that I’d do anything to help you?" he was trying to be cute but he was failing miserably.
"I don’t need help. I can get all by myself!"
"You think so?" Andrew could clearly distinguish the sudden change in the tone of voice of the choreographer. "I want you to try to get the last of the roles if I don’t want you to."
"What?" Natalia’s voice was full of surprise and fear.
"I’m warning you, Natalia. I can destroy your career if I want and I will, if you keep doing this, saying you don’t want anything with me anymore!"
"Leave me alone!" she was fighting him and the blond angel supposed he was grabbing her by an arm to threaten her.
"I want you begging for my forgiveness! Saying you’re sorry!"
"I don’t want to see you again!"
"You’re mine, Natalia, and I’m not letting you go!"
"I’m not yours! I will never be again! You’re despicable!"
The sound of a slap and a soft cry made Andrew jump and it was all he needed to get into the office and help the ballerina. "Leave her alone!" he shouted grabbing the choreographer by the shirt and pulling him away of her. The angel turned to see if she was ok and William took advantage of this. All of a sudden, Andrew felt a fist connecting with his upper jaw and he almost lost balance. He felt something hot running from his nose, but William was already lifting him to hit him again and he would’ve done it if Natalia hasn’t gotten in the middle. Her cry and the noise made some other teachers and students go to the office to pull the angel and the choreographer apart.
"What are you doing, William?" Jonathan Michels asked as he stood between the two fighting men.
"He attacked me!" the choreographer yelled.
"No, he didn’t!" Natalia’s voice interrupted him. "You attacked him!" She was covering her nose to try to stop the bleeding.
"You leave her alone, William!" Andrew warned him. "Come on, Natalia, I’m gonna take you to the hospital." Natalia walked obediently.
"I’m gonna tear you apart, Andrew!" William shouted and was stopped by Mr. Michels from trying to hit the angel again. "You can be sure and you too, Natalia!"
****
The double door of the ER flung open as the chief of psychiatrics and her assistant ran into the guard immediately leading to the exam room where a doctor and a nurse were already working on Natalia.
"Oh, my God!" Mary Ann exclaimed when she saw her daughter still bleeding. "I didn’t want to believe this! Honey, what happened?"
"It was an accident, at the ABA," she managed to answer though her voice wasn’t clear.
Something told Monica to turn towards the next room and there she saw Tess taking care of an also injured Andrew. She left without being noticed, her worried eyes immediately focusing on his bruised face.
"Oh, Andrew! Are you ok?" she said taking the hand he had offered. She wanted to hold him as if it were what it would take to make him heal, but she restrained herself as she didn’t know how badly hurt he was.
"I’ll be fine," he said. "It’s just a bruise."
"It’s just that this time," Tess informed him finishing to clean the blood from his nose and pushing a little enough to make him complain. "But you will not be ‘magically’ cured this time, Mr. Halo. You’ll have to go through the normal process. That’ll teach you to be a little more careful."
"It was not my fault, Tess," he tried to argue. "William hit her, did you want me to stand there and just watch?"
The older angel was about to ask but Monica’s voice interrupted her. "William hit Natalia? I can’t believe this! Mary Ann has to know it!" She was about to leave when Andrew’s strong hand stopped her.
"Monica, no. Look," the blond angel pointed to the other room: Natalia and her mother were alone now and it seemed the girl was at last telling Mary Ann what had happened.
"What happened, Andrew?" the Irish angel asked.
"I saw him pushing her to his office. He told her she’s been ignoring him and she told him she didn’t want to see him again. He threatened her again and then I heard a cry and the sound of a slap. I got into the office and he hit me. When he was about to hit me again, Natalia got in the middle. Luckily some other teachers got there on time."
The three angels saw Mary Ann taking her daughter and walking to leave the exam room.
"I better go back to the academy," Andrew said at the end. "I think I should talk to Jonathan Michels before William can put everything in the way he wants them."
****
The Irish angel waited a long time before going back to her office. She knew Mary Ann would want time to talk to her daughter so she covered the rounds and check on any new admittance. When she finally went to the office, Natalia seemed to be much calmer though it was pretty obvious she’d cried.
"I’m sorry," Monica excused herself when she opened the door and both mother and daughter turned to see her. "I just need something from my desk and I’ll be gone."
"Oh, no, Monica, please you can stay. Look I want you to meet my daughter, Natalia. This is my new assistant , Monica."
"Hi," the little angel said shaking the ballerina’s hand.
"You know? Monica has a friend at the ABC, you may know him, honey," Mary Ann said wanting to find something to make her daughter talk to the angel.
"Oh, yeah? Who’s that friend of yours?"
"Andrew, your new Drama teacher..." Monica watched carefully at the girl’s reaction. Her mother didn’t notice but the angel could clearly see a light blush in her cheeks and a quick hint of surprise in her dark eyes.
"He’s the guy who defended you, right?" Mary Ann asked.
"Yes. One of my fellow students was pestering me and Andrew made him stop," Natalia explained to Monica, but the angel knew that was not the truth and that the girl was trying to justify herself without having to say she was dating the choreographer of the company. Monica met Mary Ann’s gaze briefly and she saw her chief had accepted her daughter’s story as a confirmation of her suspicions.
"He’s been so kind with me since he arrived," Natalia’s voice full of optimism interrupted Monica’s thoughts, "but I guess you must know that, right Monica?"
She managed to smile and say "yes, that’s who he is," but deep inside something was bothering her and it was not only the fact that Natalia was still lying to her mother after what had happened today.
"I hope I meet him soon so I can thank him for his help," the doctor said.
"I’m so sorry he got beaten because of me..." the ballerina offered and then remained silent for some moments.
‘You should be at least!’ the little angel thought feeling a knot of disgust on her stomach remembering the sight of Andrew bleeding, but none of the other woman noticed her upset face.
"I think I should go and tell him I’m sorry," the girl said not noticing Monica’s wide open eyes.
"But you said you were not coming back today," Mary Ann replied with a note of disappointment in her voice.
"Mom, you don’t want him to be considering me as a very rude person, do you? I’ll see you at night," she kissed her mother on the cheek before leaving. "Nice to meet you, Monica."
"Nice to meet you too." The angel looked at her chief once more, but she only shuddered her shoulders and sighed.
****
To his relief, Andrew had talked to Jonathan Michels as soon as he had come back to the academy. The teacher had told him they had had problems with William before and he would see his contract to be abrogated by the end of the year. The blond angel went back to his classroom. He had decided to take the rest of the afternoon to prepare his class before heading back to the hospital to invite Monica to have dinner.
"Andrew?" Natalia’s voice surprised him.
"Natalia, I thought you’d stay with your mother. Come in."
"I just wanted to say thank you. It was very kind from you to help me."
"I couldn’t have done different." The angel stood and circled his desk and took a seat on the corner near his student.
"I’m so sorry you got beaten. Does it hurt too much?" She came near him and touched his bruised jaw slightly.
"Don’t worry, it’ll be fine in a few days." He was feeling quite uncomfortable with this...
"You didn’t have to do this. But I’m glad you arrived on time." She hadn’t taken her hand back and Andrew was starting to suspect what she wanted.
"Natalia..."
"Please, don’t say anything," she asked and the angel was more than taken by surprise when he saw the ballerina taking his face between her hands, leaning over and kissing him on the lips.
He took her by the wrists immediately to free himself but what helped him more was the sound of a voice by the door that he recognized at the moment.
"Andrew!"
It was Monica.
******

Chapter 5

Not even caring of being rude, Andrew tighten his grip on Natalia’s wrists and stood up. "What are you doing, Natalia?" he shouted. "My interest on you has nothing to do with this!"
"I-I’m sorry" Natalia started to whimper. She had never imagine he would react in such a violent way. "I thought you..."
"Just...!" Andrew raised a hand to stop her and closed his eyes to avoid saying something else. "Just get out of here," he said in an angry voice before he left his office and ran to the door of the building. Once on the street, he saw Monica’s tiny figure walking as fast as she could. The angel of death ran to catch her and took her by an arm to force her to stop.
"Monica, this is not what you are thinking!" he said nervously, though he knew immediately that was not a good enough explanation.
She turned to face him, her dark eyes full of tears and anger. "What I’m thinking is that you were kissing her, Andrew! I saw it and you can’t deny it!"
"I know I can’t, but, baby, she kissed me. I never meant to..."
"It doesn’t matter to me! You betrayed our friendship! You betrayed yourself! You’re an angel! Why didn’t you tell me this was what was happening?"
Andrew cupped her face tenderly and tried to wipe away with his thumbs the tears that were now crossing freely her cheeks. "I’m so sorry, angel, but..."
The sound of a desperate horn and a car stopping abruptly interrupted him and made both angels turn towards the academy. A trembling cab driver was out of his car in the middle of the street, looking at someone lying on the pavement. "Natalia!" Andrew shouted and ran towards the girl, Monica following him closer.
"I- I didn’t hit her!" the driver stuttered. "She just fainted in front of me!"
"Monica, call 911!" Andrew asked and he saw the little angel running towards the building.
****
Ten minutes later, two paramedics ran into the Hillside ER room followed by two angels and a cab driver.
"Someone call Dr. Rosenberg!" a nurse shouted. "It’s his daughter!"
Andrew, Monica and the driver went to take a seat at the waiting room. "Oh, God, please help me!" they heard the man murmuring, his head buried between his hands. "Please, let her be ok!"
Andrew and Monica looked at him in silence. The Irish angel knew she should talk to him and reassure the man God was listening to his prayer, but her heart was too troubled to help him. Andrew read her expression easily and followed her with his gaze when she stood up and walked towards a window. After some minutes, he decided to try to talk to her again. "Monica..." he started.
"Please, Andrew, this is not the right time," she said coldly.
"Angel, please..."
"I think I’ll call Mary Ann. She must be here." The blond angel saw her walking away and knew he could only start to imagine how hurt she was.
A nurse at the reception desk informed Mary Ann that her husband was already with their daughter as soon as the psychologist arrived. Monica took a seat besides her, and the four of them waited for about half an hour until Richard Rosenberg and his assistant went to meet them.
"How is she?" Mary Ann stood up immediately and asked her husband.
"She has no contusions or broken bones; the car didn’t hit her."
"Thanks God!" the cab driver exclaimed before anyone else. "I told them I saw her crossing the street and a second later she fainted in front of me."
"I really thank you for coming here, sir," Richard offered with a polite tone, "but you can go now. Thanks for you help."
"Anytime" the man said shaking the doctor’s hand.
"If she wasn’t hit, then why was she unconscious?" Andrew asked as soon as the man was gone.
"I’m sorry, you are...?" Richard said looking at the angel.
"This is Andrew, Natalia’s Drama teacher" Tess answered.
"I see." Richard and Andrew shook hands. "We have a big problem with her, Mary Ann, her condition is quite critical."
"But you said she has no contusions..."
"But she fainted because she’s very sick." His next words were like a bucket of cold water for the angels and the mother. "She has leukemia."
"What? No way!" the psychologist started to cry and Monica wrapped an arm around her protectively.
"Are you sure?" Andrew asked not wanting to believe what he was listening.
"Yes, baby," Tess informed him. "The tests are clear. She has Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia."
"This is all my fault!" Mary Ann yelled desperately. "I knew there was something wrong but I didn’t care, I...!"
Richard hugged his wife closely, trying to soothe her. "In that case, this is my fault. I’m an oncologist for God’s sake! How could I ignore the symptoms if they were written all over the wall? Excessive tiredness, changes of humor, losing weigh, strange bruises..."
"I’m sorry, Richard" Tess interrupted him, "but I think that blaming each other will not help your daughter. You’ll have to be strong and be there for her. This is not about what you should’ve done before; now it’s about what you’ll have to do in the future."
"You’re right, Tess, thank you" the doctor said. "Come on, honey, We’re moving her to my department so we can start with the treatment right now."
The three angels saw them walking to the elevators and not saying a word, Monica was about to follow them when her supervisor’s commanding voice stopped her. "Hold on there, Miss Wings. Where are you going?"
"I’m going with Mary Ann" the little angel tried to sound obvious so she didn’t have to hear what was coming next.
"You’re not going anywhere until you two tell me what’s going on between you."
"Tess..."
"Ah, ah, ah, no. Don’t even try that, Angel girl. I know you two very well and it’s obvious there’s something wrong."
Monica looked at Andrew in silence and fresh tears started to well up her dark eyes. "Please, Tess, not now. I can’t do it right now," she murmured before she practically ran towards the stairs.
"Baby..." Tess started to say but when she saw she was out of reach, she turned to face Andrew. "You will explain me this, Andrew. This is something serious, that much I can tell!"
He looked at the older angel with a defeated expression. "You’re right, this is serious. I hurt her today, in a way I never imagine I would and I don’t know what to say to make her see I didn’t mean to!"
"What happened?"
The angel of death sighed before he could answer and look at somewhere else but the supervisor’s face. "Natalia went to the academy in the afternoon to apologize for the fight. I told her it was no problem but she misunderstood my interest..." He met her dark eyes once more before adding, "She kissed me... right in the moment when Monica arrived to my office."
"What?!" Tess’ voice was a mix of anger and surprise. "Monica saw you kissing your assignment?"
"I never corresponded her, Tess! I know this is not what angels do!"
"It doesn’t matter that you know it, Mr. Halo! What matters now is that my angel baby is hurting and she’s alone and she has a job to do before anything else!"
"I never meant to hurt her, Tess, you have to believe me."
His pleading eyes did Tess and she knew he was hurting as much as Monica. "I know, baby, I know," she said hugging him, "but I think you’ll have a hard time trying to make her see it."
"But she will have to. There’s no other way for me, Tess. She’s my best friend and I care for what she thinks about me more then anyone else" he replied blinking to fight the tears that he felt threatening his eyes.
****
It was very late that night when Andrew arrived to the oncology waiting room. He searched for Monica but the little angel was nowhere around. He then walked towards Mary Ann, who was all alone seated on a couch still crying quietly. The angel took a seat besides her and smiled when she turned to face him.
"Hi," she said. "I though you were gone by now."
"No." He wanted to ask her about Monica but he thought she was worried enough with her daughter. He waited until she wiped her tears away to keep on talking. "How is Natalia?"
"Not too good but that’s obvious. She’s started with prednison and..."
"And?"
Mary Ann stood up with a jump that almost startled the blond angel. "And she doesn’t want to talk to me or her father! She blames us! She thinks we’re just looking for a way to take her out of the ABC!" Andrew looked at her in silence for some minutes, not knowing what else to say. "Maybe you could talk to her..." the psychologist said at the end.
The angel of death stood up doubting of what to say. "I- I don’t know if that would be a good idea right now..." He didn’t want to tell her what had happened before, and that maybe because of him, Natalia had been about to be run over.
"Please, Andrew, go and talk to her! She’s told me you’ve always been kind with her. I need to help my daughter and I don’t know what to do! I’m becoming desperate, please, Andrew, help me!"
"All right," the blond angel said sighing heavily. He didn’t want to see his student but the pleading tone of her mother’s voice made him remember he had an assignment in the first place.
"I’ll go and get some coffee while you go, ok? She’s in room 302."
The angel saw her walking away and then he headed to the door and knock at it softly before getting in. "Hi, Natalia," he offered and took a seat on a chair next her bed. "How are you feeling?"
"Please, go" she whispered turning to the other side.
"I want to help you. You need to talk."
"That’s not what you thought before."
"I’m sorry if I was rude..."
"Why are you here, Andrew?" she turned and looked at him through teary eyes. "Are you here just because you pity me?"
"No, I’m not. I want to help you."
"You didn’t want to back there at the ABA."
"I’m sorry..." the blond angel stuttered, "but in that way, I can’t..."
"Will you stay here until I fall asleep?" she pleaded taking his hand. Her tone and the change in the conversation surprised him but also made him felt quite guilty.
"Sure," he answered though he felt he would regret it.
"Will you come back tomorrow?" Natalia murmured while she drifted off to sleep.

I say love is a flower (alternate version) chap 2 - 3

2004-11-04T13:29:00.000-08:00

Chapter 2

Monica had already brought up to date the files for the new day when Mary Ann arrived the next morning. "You’re an early bird, Monica," the doctor commented as a way of greeting.
"Good morning, Mary Ann. I hope you don’t mind that I started without you."
"Not at all. I must recognize I hadn’t had such an efficient assistant in a long time."
"Thank you."
"Do you have any plans for today?," the doctor asked the little angel while she started to look at the files over her desk. "What would you say if we have lunch together?."
Monica hesitated a little. "Mmm... I’m sorry, but actually I wanted to ask if you don’t mind if I go out at lunchtime. There’s someone I need to see..."
"Your friend at the ABA?"
"Yes, I hope you don’t mind."
"Nonsense!," the doctor told her assistant. "You go and enjoy your lunch. I’ll see you in the afternoon."
****
Andrew had been looking for a chance to talk to Natalia all the morning but the moment seemed not to be the right one. He wanted it to look rather casual, so the girl would trust him easily instead of feeling fearful. The group was just leaving their pas-de-deux class when the blond angel saw her walking slowly behind her classmates. "Hi, Natalia, how are you?," he said joining her.
The girl blushed slightly when she saw her new teacher coming to her. "Oh, hi," she managed to say.
"You look a little worried. Is there something I can do for you?"
"No, I’m fine, thank you. Why do you ask that?," in fact she’d be worry if she couldn’t hide her real feelings anymore.
"Listen. I don’t want to be indiscreet but I saw you yesterday afternoon in William’s car," it was not the whole truth but the angel wasn’t lying. "I saw you were crying." He saw her remaining silent and bending her head down. A tear traced its path through her cheek. Andrew tilted her face tenderly and then whipped her tears away. "You’re a beautiful young lady. You shouldn’t be crying for nothing."
Natalia felt butterflies fluttering in her stomach at his words. Though she really was pretty, nobody used to tell her so and it certainly was nice. She looked at his eyes and saw the tenderness that was always present in them. She couldn’t understand what his interest meant, but a feeling of self-confidence burst in her heart. "Thanks for your interest," she said finally, "but I don’t think you can help me."
"Well, we can’t be sure unless we try, can we? Why don’t we continue talking at lunchtime?," the angel of death said as they reached the pilates classroom.
The ballerina was really confused, but a part of her was enjoying his attention. She didn’t make friends easily and usually she spent lunchtimes alone or just hearing her classmates conversations, so the idea of having someone to talk while having lunch was quite a pleasant one. She turned to face him and smiled before answering. "Ok, I’ll see you later then."
****
Monica walked along a corridor and stopped for a minute in front of the open door of a classroom where twenty dancers followed obediently the instructions of a middle-age woman, who was walking around them, correcting an arm here and a hand there until the lines of their bodies were perfect. She smiled and the soft music helped to free her heart from the apprehension she had felt all morning long. She was still worried for Andrew’s behavior the night before. The little angel started to walk again and right on the next corridor she met him. He was just closing the door of his classroom when her familiar accent made him turn. "Hello, Andrew. I hope you don’t mind I came to see you here."
She hadn’t finished her words when he had pulled her for a warm hug. "Hey, baby, what a beautiful surprise!." He kissed her temple before pulling apart. The Irish angel smiled contently: at least, that was who he usually was. Maybe last night had been just a bad night after all. "What are you doing here?," he asked rubbing her arms softly.
"I was worried about you yesterday," she offered, her dark, caring eyes fixed on his. "I came to see if we could have lunch together so..."
His expression made her stop talking. He released her and buried his hands in his pants pockets, deliberately avoiding her gaze before beginning with stuttering excuses. "Baby, I’m sorry," he said. "I have an appointment for lunch already and it’s something I can’t miss." He couldn’t say who felt worse; Monica, who was biting her lower lip and avoiding his sight, or he himself, who seemed not to find the right words... if there was something like the right words. "I’m really sorry, angel."
"It’s ok," she said obviously disappointed. "I should’ve thought better than came to distract you while you’re working."
He took her hand. "Listen, Monica, why don’t we...," but he didn’t finish his question as he saw Natalia coming from behind the little angel.
"Shall we go?," the young girl asked not paying any attention to Monica.
"Yes, let’s go," Andrew said meeting the Irish angel’s gaze once more. "I’ll see you later, ok?" He squeezed her hand lovingly, hoping that the gesture would speak enough but he was wrong.
Monica saw them walking together and she didn’t miss the sparkle in Natalia’s eyes. She shook her head and turned to leave the building, scolding herself for what she was thinking. She shouldn’t be feeling that, she shouldn’t be jealous. Nevertheless, she wasn’t happy at all to know that her best friend would be having lunch with a girl whose eyes were already reflecting much more than a simple gratitude.
****
At lunchtime, Tess went to Mary Ann’s office to look for Monica as she was still worried about Andrew and longed to talk to her charge to see if the blond angel had offered something more. "Hello, Dr. Rosenberg," Tess greeted the brunette woman. "Is Monica around here?"
"Please, call me Mary Ann," she answered. "No. She went to have lunch with her friend at the ABA."
"I see," the dark skinned angel answered quietly.
"Yes. She said she wanted to surprise him." The woman looked carefully at the angel, who appeared to be suddenly lost in thought. "Have you known her for a long time?"
"Oh, yes," the supervisor answered chuckling. "She’s like a daughter to me."
"And you don’t like that friend of hers..."
The assumption made Tess to look at the woman in surprise. "No, no. He’s like my son too."
"Then, why are you so worried?"
"Never mind," the older angel said. "I may come back later, ok?" But when she was about to leave, Monica came in evidently upset. The little angel didn’t notice she had closed the door with a quite audible slam. Both Tess and Mary Ann had their eyes fixed on her until the doctor spoke.
"You came back early."
"Yeah. I couldn’t talk to him. He said he had another appointment he couldn’t miss," her tone of voice was making evident her confusion and anger.
"Men," the woman sighed. "Whenever you want to make something special for them, they find a way to spoil your plans." She stood up and patted the Irish angel shoulder friendly. "Don’t worry. Everything will be all right. I’ll go try to have lunch with my own ‘man’ if he doesn’t have another idea. See you later."
Tess saw her leaving the office before she turned her attention back to her angel baby. "Ok, Miss Wings, start talking," she ordered.
Monica sighed heavily before she started to pace desperately, her walking matching her whirling thoughts. "I went to see him, Tess. I wanted to talk to him. He seemed quite happy to see me. He said it was a nice surprise. Then I asked him to have lunch with me, but he said he had another appointment, and then this girl came and he went with her without saying more, and...," she stopped the flood of her words as she saw her supervisor trying to control her laughing. "What’s so funny?," the little angel asked almost angry.
"You’re jealous."
"No, I’m not!."
"Of course you are, baby. Do you know who the girl is?"
"No, but..."
"But you’re mad because Andrew is talking to her instead of you."
The older angel had a point and Monica’s eyes said so. "Well... yes. I don’t like that," she admitted. "But that’s not my point. What I don’t like is that he’s not telling me what’s bothering him!"
"Don’t try to fool yourself, Monica. You’re angry because this girl is using Andrew’s time when you wanted to be with him. But don’t forget that he’s an angel before any other thing and he is supposed to help people. That girl, I assume, is his assignment and you should know better that’s the most important thing right now."
Monica remained silent for some minutes before she spoke again. "I know, Tess, you’re right. Still, I’m not exactly happy."
"That’s something I can see," the older angel replied ironically. "Listen to me, baby. The Father sent him there not because He wants Andrew to be a caseworker again. He sent him because his assignment is gonna need an angel of death. That may not be easy, neither for her nor for him. He may need you, both as an angel and as someone who he loves and who loves him. I know you’re upset and that’s perfectly normal. But remember there will always be times like this regarding to the people or angels you love, and you’ll have to learn to deal with them and go through them." Seeing her young charge nodding, Tess pulled her for a warm hug. "I’ve scarcely seen a relationship like yours. I know you love him and he loves you, that’s what matters most."
****
Natalia could hardly remember a time when she had felt happier than now, seated in front of his handsome teacher, her bright eyes reflecting the joy of her smile. It had been quite easy to talk with him about how she had become a ballerina and the great expectations many people had in her talent. She didn’t feel she was showing up, she was talking to someone who seemed really interested in her. What hasn’t been that easy was to discuss her relationship with William.
"Natalia," the blond angel reached for her hand tentatively trying to force her to answer his next question, "we’ve been talking about many things but we haven’t come to the first that brought us here. Do you have any problems with William White?"
The girl freed her hand and buried it in her lap, bending her head down. "I don’t want to talk about it."
"It’s obvious there’s a problem and I want to help you."
"Do you have any trouble, Natalia?," William’s voice startled both of them. Andrew turned to see him and could feel his anger growing inside.
"N-no," the girl stuttered nervously, "everything is all right."
"Good," the choreographer said. "Then, can I talk to you?" He grabbed her by the arm quite rudely and Andrew stood up immediately. His green eyes met William’s in a silent challenge.
"Yes, let’s go," Natalia said quickly, feeling her new teacher was about to lose his temper. "Thanks for the lunch, Andrew. I’ll see you later."
"Natalia...," the angel tried to argue.
"No," she interrupted him. "It’s ok," and he saw her walking mildly with him.
"What the hell are you doing, Natalia?," William mumbled leading the girl to his office. "Do you think I’m a toy?" Once they were there, he closed the door. He went near her and took her chin with a strong hand. "Look at me, Natalia, do you think you can play with me, little girl? Answer me!," he almost shouted.
"N-no," the ballerina replied with trembling voice and eyes full of tears. "I’m sorry, I didn’t think you would mind..."
"Of course I mind! I love you, do you remember?," his tone pretended to be cute but there still was a clear note of bitterness. Natalia lifted her eyes to meet his at this words. She was still crying and said nothing more when he leaned down to kiss her quite violently. On a corner of the office, unseen for the couple, Andrew crossed his arms and shook his head in disagreement.
"If you love me, why you never show me?," Natalia asked when they parted.
"Here we come again!," William said with exasperation, freeing his embrace and turning his back to the girl. "When are you going to understand I don’t like all that kind of ridiculous things lovers say? ‘You’re my life’, ‘I can’t live without you’. I won’t say that, you know it!"
"What would it hurt to tell me sometimes you love me?," her teary tone was nothing but a plea.
"You know that. I don’t have to convince you. If you doubt me, that’s your problem."
"Sometimes, I don’t feel you really love me... You never touch me, you never hold me but here," she had come near him and tried to stroke his shoulder, but he pulled it back quite rudely.
"Remember what I’ve told you about?," he said turning to face her. "I told you since the beginning that none should know about us."
"But, why? Why would it be wrong...?"
"Because I can’t favor any student in particular and that’s exactly what I’m doing with you!"
"But you said I’ve won my place because of my hard work...," she murmured.
He suppressed a chuckle in scorn. "And you believed me? That was what I had to say." Seeing her crying, he sighed heavily. "I guess you want to be Juliet, don’t you? That would be your unofficial debut as a principal with the American Ballet."
Natalia looked at him in surprise as she hasn’t thought she could lose the role. "Yes, I do."
"Good," he said and gave her a distracted peck on the cheek before walking to take a seat behind his desk. "Then stop crying like a spoiled baby and go back to work."
"I’ll see you later?," she asked still pleading.
"I don’t know. I may have a prior appointment." He wasn’t looking at her anymore and she turned to leave.
Andrew looked at her with deep sorry. This wasn’t fair, she certainly didn’t deserve to be treated like that. Then he listened to William’s voice again. That was the last thing the angel could’ve expected.
"By the way, Natalia, don’t eat anything at dinner."
"What?," she asked bewildered.
"I saw you eating like a pig at lunch with your new teacher."
"I just had half a sandwich and vegetables!"
"And you want more? We’re weighing you tomorrow morning and I don’t think any Juliet of the American Ballet has been more than 80 pounds."

Chapter 3

The afternoon had been almost uneventful for the chief of Psychiatrics of the Hillside Hospital and her new assistant. They had gotten a call from ER to evaluate a homeless man who had been found wanting to climb to the Statue of the Liberty, and besides the normal rounds to check on the other patients, there had been nothing but a nice chance to talk. Mary Ann had come to really appreciate the little angel that was helping her, especially because of the peace she seemed to bring with her words either talking to a disturbed patient or just chatting with a nurse or any other employee. Monica was telling her about other times when she had worked on a hospital when a phone call interrupted them.
"Hello?," the doctor said picking up. "Yes, one second, please. It’s for you." She handed the phone to the surprised angel.
"Hello?," her tone was quite uncertain.
"I just wanted you apologize for today," said a voice on the other end of the line that she recognized at once as Andrew’s.
"You don’t have to," she said smiling.
"Yes, I have and I’m making up things for today later. So, wait for me after work. I’ll pick you up there. Now go back to work, ok?," his voice was tender and almost a whisper.
"Ok," the little angel whispered. "Bye." When she turned to hang up the phone, she found the smiling face of her temporary chief. "What, Mary Ann?," she asked feeling certain that that smile was about the conversation she had just had.
"Looks like someone is feeling guilty for spoiling a surprise visit for lunch."
"He shouldn’t have to..."
"But he is and now you’ll have a lovely night with him instead of a short break between your hours of work." The doctor saw Monica smiling and felt happy for her. Then, she leaned back to her armchair and released a heavy sigh. "Your friend seems to be a great guy. Tess told me he’s like a son for her."
"Yes," the Irish angel replied. "Tess is like a mother for both of us. I don’t think God could’ve given me better friends."
"He sounds all the contrary of my daughter’s boyfriend."
Seeing an opportunity to learn more about her assignment, Monica took a seat in front of Mary Ann and tried to keep on the conversation. "Why don’t you tell me about him? I have the feeling you don’t like him much."
"You’re more than right, Monica. I don’t like him a bit. The funny thing is that I don’t even know him!"
"You haven’t met him?," the little angel asked.
"No. Natalia has found all kind of excuses. He never goes to our house, he never calls her. I think he must be one of her classmates at the ABA, but she doesn’t want to tell me. I’m really worried for her, sometimes even scared."
"How long have they been dating?"
"Two years, I guess. Since she first went to the ABA."
"It’s quite a long term. But why are you scared?"
"Because I have the feeling that this guy is abusing her and she doesn’t tell us. Natalia is not the same girl she used to be two years ago. I can understand she’s under a big pressure but she doesn’t smile anymore, she never goes out with her friends. If her teachers didn’t say she’s the best of her group, I would be sure we were wrong on letting her go to the American Ballet," the woman confessed.
"But being a ballerina is what she wants to be..."
"But I’d rather prefer to have a happy daughter than a famous one. Besides the stress, I’ve noticed she’s losing weight too fast, but I can’t find a way to make her eat."
"Have you tried to talk to her?"
"Millions of times! She doesn’t trust me anymore. I wish I could have the right words, just as you seem to have with the patients. Isn’t that funny? I’m a psychologist, I help people to deal with their problems and I can’t help my own daughter!"
The little angel took Mary Ann’s hand to try to comfort her and the effect was clear in a minute. The doctor looked at the angel’s eyes and she could feel a peace that seemed to be irradiated by her Irish assistant. "Maybe because you’ve been trying to be her psychologist instead of being her mother," she offered softly.
"I’m afraid, Monica," the doctor confessed with a low voice and eyes full of tears. "I would give anything to have my daughter back, to have that happy girl she used to be. What can I do?"
"Pray, Mary Ann. You can pray," the angel said patting the woman’s hand. "Ask God to help you to get to your daughter and trust Him with her. I promise He’ll see her through."
Mary Ann whipped her tears away before she could smile and answer. "Thank you, Monica. See? I was right, you always have the exact words to say."
"Not always," she chuckled lightly to try to cheer the woman up. "But I always ask God to help me to say what people need to hear."
****
Monica was quite distracted looking at the parking lot in front of the hospital main entrance and she didn’t notice Andrew coming behind her until a beautiful white rose appeared in front of her face. "A rose for your thoughts," he murmured startling her.
"It’s beautiful, thank you" the Irish angel said hugging him.
"Are you ready to go?"
"Yes. Where are we going anyway?" she answered walking hand in had with him towards the red Cadillac.
"It’s a surprise," he said opening the door for her.
"Where’s Tess?" the little angel asked when he got in the car.
"At Home, I guess. She just lent me the car and told me this night should be just for the two of us. And you know what? I don’t have any complaints," he blinked an eye mischievously.
"Neither do I," Monica replied smiling happily.
Martin’s, the restaurant he had picked up was built at the end of a long dock so the customers felt they were in the middle of the ocean. They picked up a table next to a large window where they could see at the distance the shinning form of the Statue of the Liberty over the dark night sky. They were already waiting for their order when Andrew reached for her hand before he started to speak. "Monica, I’m really sorry for today. I hurt you and..."
Two fingers over his lips made him stop. "Please, don’t say more you’re sorry. You were working and your assignment is what matters most."
Andrew took her other hand and cupped them between his own hands. "You are such a good friend, angel. I love you."
"I love you too," she whispered back gently freeing her right hand and caressing his cheek.
The street along the coast wasn’t too crowded when the two angels finished their dinner and started to walk, Andrew wrapping Monica’s little shoulders and she encircling his waist. The cold air of the night brought the smell of the sea and some ships still crossed the dark waters. They walked in a comfortable silence for some minutes until they arrived to another dock and walked to the end of it. Feeling the cold air, Monica cuddled in Andrew’s warm embrace and closed her eyes. She had decided not to push the issue with him and let him talk whenever he was ready when she heard him start to talk. "I’m really worried, you know?"
She remained silent but pulled away a little to look at him. "For your assignment?" she finally asked.
He nodded, yet he didn’t meet her gaze. "William White is abusing her, Natalia Rosenberg, I’m pretty sure about it."
"So is her mother," she said quietly at the end understanding what she was doing in his assignment.
"Yesterday, before I left the Academy I hear him insulting her. he told her she was stupid." He met her dark, surprised eyes and understood what she was about to ask. "She doesn’t want to tell me. I tried to talk to her today at lunch, but when I was trying to make her talk, he came and took her away. Has her mother told you anything more?"
Monica sighed and shook her head. "Not really. Natalia’s parents don’t even know this boy."
"He’s not a boy!" Andrew said in surprise. "William White is the choreographer of the ABC!"
"Mary Ann thinks is one of her classmates!"
"Well, he isn’t. And what makes it worse is that I think this guy has threatened her, with her weight for example." He sighed heavily and ran a hand over his hair. "I feel I’m running out of time. I haven’t been told yet but I feel I have her life in my very hands."
Monica looked at him attentively. She had known him long enough to know that what he was showing her was just the third part of how worried he was. Whatever he had seen and listen must’ve been serious enough to upset him so much. He had his forearms over the banister, his sight lost in the distance. "I’ll help you," she murmured, "and we will help her, I promise." She closed her eyes and prayed for guidance to do so.
****
"Stop! Stop again!" William’s angry voice filled the studio next morning by the tenth time in the day. "Natalia, could you please remember it’s a triple turn not a double? How many times I’ll have to tell you?"
"I’m sorry," the girl murmured with almost a teary voice.
"You’re sorry! You should be sorry with your fellow students! They don’t have all your time!" He was clearly yelling at her and none else wanted to participate in the discussion. "Let’s go again." He waited until everybody was on their places. "One, two, three, rond brisé, one, two, three, turn! What the hell are you doing, Natalia?" he yelled. "Triple turn! You know how to make that ‘cause if you don’t, then you have nothing to do in this studio!"
"I-I’m sorry" she started to whimper.
"Hey, leave her alone!" Mike Jackson, Natalia’s partner tried to stop the choreographer’s scolding.
"You concentrate in your dance, Mike. I’m running this group, understood?" William answered angrily. "Let’s go again. To your places! Triple turn, Natalia! One, two, three, rond brisé, one, two, three, turn! Natalia!"
This time the girl couldn’t finish the turn because she collapsed, only avoiding the soil by Mike’s arms, who reached her just in time. "Natalia, are you ok?" he said helping her to take a seat.
"Now what?" said William coming closer to her.
"I don’t know what happened," she murmured weakly.
"Get out of here," the choreographer told her angrily.
"You can’t do this!" Mike snapped willing to defend his classmate.
"Get out, Natalia. Go take some air. Don’t come back until you feel perfectly fine" William’s words were more an order than the polite request he was pretending to give. Natalia stood up and left the studio quietly, all her classmates’ sights focused on her. "To your places again. Let’s start with the Benvolio and Romeo’s part," the choreographer ordered.
Natalia walked slowly through the desert corridor until she reached the stage door of the main theater. She walked towards the end of the stage and sit down wrapping her arms around her knees and burring her face between them. She never noticed Andrew walking behind her until she heard the muffled sound of his footsteps, yet she didn’t move. The angel took a seat besides her and offered her a handkerchief. "Are you ok?" he asked softly.
Natalia whipped her tears and tried to smile before she turned to face her teacher. "Yes, thank you. I’m just too tired and I couldn’t concentrate on the class."
"You sure? You look rather pale."
"I got sick in William’s class, but really it’s nothing. I’m just tired."
"Your father is a doctor, isn’t he? Why don’t you ask him to check you up?"
"Yeah, I’ll do," Natalia answered looking away.
"Ok," the angel said and tenderly tilted her face to make her see him again. "There’s much more than tiredness in your face. Please, tell me or I’ll call your mother."
"No!" she shouted. "Please, she doesn’t know anything!"
"Anything about what?"
"About me and William White," she murmured blushing deeply. "We’ve been dating for two years now," she continued after some seconds. "But I haven’t told my parents anything about it because he’s forbidden me to do so."
"Forbidden you?"
"He doesn’t want anybody knowing about us."
"Why?"
"He says it wouldn’t be good for either mine or his career, that it would sound he’s favoring me."
""You’re an excellent ballerina, Natalia, he wouldn’t be favoring you," the angel of death offered.
"Sometimes he makes me feel I’m not that good... and sometimes I think he’s right," she wasn’t crying anymore but her voice was deeply sad. "I used to enjoy ballet, you know? I never thought about how good I was until my teacher sent me here. I made the auditions, I went through the summer workshop and then I had my place in the academy and everything seemed fine. I even think I was happy then."
"That’s when you met William White," the blond angel stated to make her continue.
She nodded and kept on talking. "He worked with us for about three weeks during the workshop. God! I thought he was the best dancer I’ve ever seen. We performed a little part of The Swam’s Lake, and I was playing Odette. I remember he was teaching Mike how to play the prince and he looked at me with such a deep love in his eyes that I felt my heart had stopped beating. We continued with the class and at the end he asked me to see him in his office. He told me he was proud of the way I’d been dancing and he invited me to have dinner to celebrate what he said was a sure success. We went to Martin’s, the restaurant over the dock and after dinner we walked along the street. You may not believe it but I haven’t dated anyone before." She chuckled slightly remembering the next things she’d say. "I was so nervous when he held me that I could feel myself shaking. He held me for a long time, we talked a lot and at the end he told me he thought I was a very beautiful woman. You know what that meant to me? Not only was I holding a famous dancer, but also he was telling me I was pretty. I almost wanted to thank him for saying so, for making me feel so special when he leaned down and kissed me. That was our first date and I think it’s been the most beautiful night I’ve had."
"When did he ask you not to say anything about it?"
"Right the next day. After the class, he asked me to go to his office. He said it wouldn’t be good for me that every other teacher knew about us as they hadn’t made the last decision about the new members yet. It seemed logic and I accepted his conditions. I just wanted to keep on feeling special. But after some time he started to change. He wasn’t as tender as he used to, he yelled at me often, he got angry easily, he even started to criticize my job at the ballet."
"Why didn’t you break him up?" the blond angel had started to feel a boiling anger deep inside of him at finally knowing the truth of his suspicions.
"It’s not that simple It’s been two years, Andrew and things happened. Besides, every time I said I was tired of this, he made something cute and loving to ask for my forgiveness. He promised once and again things would be different... and I believed him. I still do." Natalia turned to see Andrew and the angel could read in her eyes the true deeps of her feelings. "I want to believe him. He’s made me feel things that I had never imagine I’d feel being with a man, and I’m not sure if I want to give them up."
"I don’t think you have to give them up. I just think he doesn’t love you as you think he does. If he loved you, he’d never treat you the way he does." She looked away once more and the angel of death saw the bright path of a tear crossing her cheek. "You said he made you feel beautiful and special and deserving to be loved, and, Natalia..." he cupped her cheek with a tender hand to force her to meet his gaze once more, "...you are beautiful and special and you certainly deserve to be loved. God made you so. Please, never, ever think other way."
The ballerina was speechless, but somehow she managed to whisper a teary "Ok." Andrew’s words had really touched her heart and she couldn’t help but feeling a knot forming in her stomach when her Drama teacher kissed her on the other cheek.

I say love is a flower (alternate version) prologue - chap 1

2004-11-04T13:23:00.000-08:00

Hello!
As I said before, I'm posting the two versions of this story. Romantic scenes in this alternate version have been change to what my dear friend Deyse would call "almost-shipper" or "shipper in desguise", and that was just in order for the story to fit into some boards.

Prologue

"It was snow too that fell all Christmas week that year up in the Gauertal, that year they lived in the woodcutter’s house with the big square porcelain stove that filled half the room, and they slept on mattresses filled with beech leaves, the time the deserter came with his feet bloody in the snow.".. Monica really liked listen to Andrew’s voice while he was reading. He usually could find the exact tone of each sentence, even if it was only a description, that made her feel there was a whole story right behind each word. It was not Christmas week and there was no snow in the forest clear where they were, but she felt she would definitely love to live in a house with an old stove and mattresses of leaves some time.
Fall wind was getting colder but Monica felt perfectly comfortable sat only over the yellow leaves of the trees, laying on Andrew’s arms, enjoying the slight changes of color the sunset gave to everything around. It was not very common that both of them had a free day, so they had found it a perfect chance to spend the day together. They had had a lovely picnic and after long hours of talking, Andrew had offer to read something to her.
"What was this? A catalogue of old books? What was his talent anyway? It was a talent all right but instead of using it, he had traded on it. It was never what he had done, but always what he could do. And he had chosen to make his living with something else instead of a pen or a pencil." Andrew turned to look at Monica and found her looking steadily at him, as if trying to memorize every tiny detail of his face. "What’s happening, Angel girl?"
"Nothing." Her voice was quite a whisper. "I like to hear your voice while you’re reading."
"Ernest Hemingway really knew what he was writing, don’t you think?," Andrew said while he showed her The first forty-nine stories title page.
"I think you really know what you’re reading."
"Well, he better knows, Miss Wings!" Tess’ voice almost made both Monica and Andrew jump. "Because his next assignment will be about literature..." she quite enjoy the surprised faces of the younger angels, ."..and about some other things."
*****

Chapter 1

Andrew stood still looking in surprise at the marble frontispiece with golden letters where he could read "American Ballet Academy." Both Monica and Tess were having trouble in controlling their laughter at his priceless puzzled face. "Tess," the blond angel turned to face his supervisor, "are you sure this is where I’m supposed to be?"
"Positive, Angel boy!," she chuckled from her seat on the red Cadillac.
"You know I love to dance, but this..."
"And who told you that you were supposed to be a ballet dancer? I told you your assignment was about literature. You’re their new Drama teacher. I seem to recall you know your Shakespeare quite well."
"Oh, Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name. Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I’ll no longer be a Capulet!" Monica teased him overacting Juliet’s love confession.
"I’ll take charge of you later, Angel girl," he said, narrowing his eyes and pinching her nose tenderly. "So, Tess, what should I do?"
"Go ask for Mr. Jonathan Michels. He’ll tell you what to do."
"And what about you?"
"Monica and I will be together. We’ll actually be just a kind of support for you."
"Ok," the angel of death finally said, "I’ll see you in the afternoon."
"Have fun, Romeo!," Tess teased him before turning on the car. "And don’t break the heart of too many Juliets around there."
About an hour later, Andrew was watching in awe his new group. Instead of the normal blue jeans and T-shirts of other college students, they were all using tights and leotards, but their chat was just the same of any other group of this age. He thanked God for the past assignments where he had been a teacher for he knew he would need all that experience this time. He began calling the roll and stopped at one name: Natalia Rosenberg. His assignment. She was a small brunette young girl, with long dark hair and almond shaped eyes that were already fixed on his face. She seemed rather shy and serious, and blushed deeply when he smiled friendly at her. He used the first part of the class to know them, and so he learned Natalia was the most promising student and the next principal ballerina of the American Ballet for sure. By the end of the class, all the students were pleased with their new teacher and their chat was full of plans for a modern version of Romeo and Juliet for the final performance of the school year, just as Andrew had suggested.
Before the blond angel left the classroom, a man with dark hair of about 40 years came in. "Hi, you must be Andrew, the new Drama teacher." The angel shook hands with the man. "I’m William White, the choreographer of the company."
"Nice to meet you, William," though actually there was something in him that Andrew didn’t like at all.
"I guess we’ll be working together this year more than others. I overheard some of the guys saying you suggested to perform Romeo and Juliet."
"Yeah... I wanted it just as an exercise for the class, I didn’t mean to interfere in you job..." Andrew felt like he was trying to justify his first day there.
"No, I think it’s a great idea," William said. "The ballet hadn’t performed it in some years and I haven’t decided what we’d be doing. It has to be something they like too, so I must say thanks."
"Great."
"Natalia, can I talk to you?" the choreographer turned to see the girl who had remained in the classroom. "See you later, Andrew."
The angel of death saw them walking away and a sudden feeling of unease made him realize his assignment had something to do with William too.
***
By five o’clock, Andrew walked along the almost desert corridor towards the staff entrance of the Academy. He didn’t have a clear idea about what his assignment was yet but only the permanent sensation of something going wrong between Natalia and William. He was doubting about asking Tess for more information as he didn’t know for sure what he was supposed to do, when all of a sudden he saw something out of the corner of his eye that made him stop. The door of William’s office was slightly open and he could clearly see his figure. He was kissing somebody, quite passionately for what the angel could see, but he couldn’t recognize who the woman was. He stared at them trying to get a view of her, but William’s words soon gave him the name. "You’re so stupid, Natalia."
For one second, the angel of death was sure he had misunderstood. Had William called her stupid? He could not hear a word from the girl, only a tiny sound he guessed was a drowned sob.
"Stop it! Just stop it!," it was William’s voice again.
There was silence once more, only broken later by the sound of the man’s footsteps when he moved besides a window. The girl walked behind him and then Andrew could see her. He hasn’t been wrong, it was Natalia Rosenberg, his student. The ballerina tried to wrap her arms around his waist but the man freed himself quite brusquely. The angel saw her bending her head down and he figured out she was crying. "I love you," Natalia whispered.
There was a sarcastic laughter from William and then again the rude words. "See? I told you you’re so stupid."
Knowing he had heard enough, Andrew walked back to his classroom. He wanted to get into the office and hit the man that had dared to treat a young girl like this, but he knew that wasn’t God’s plan and that wasn’t his job either. About half an hour later, he left the school and only a block away he saw William and Natalia once more. They were in his car and she was still crying. The blond angel decided he needed to help her, but before he could reach them, the choreographer turned on the car and soon they were lost in the middle of New York’s traffic.
***
Monica was talking animatedly to a small brunette woman when Tess met her that evening at the main entrance of Hillside Hospital in Long Island. The woman was chief of Psychiatrics there and the Irish angel had been assigned to help her as her assistant.
"Hello, baby, how was your day?," Tess asked as she came near her charge.
"Hi, Tess. I want you to meet Dr. Mary Ann Rosenberg."
The dark skinned angel shook hands with her before asking. "Rosenberg? Are you Dr. Richard Rosenberg’s wife?."
"Yes," the woman answered. "Do you know him?"
"I’m his new assistant nurse. I just arrived today."
"Oh, well, what a coincidence. We both had new assistants today," she said without noticing Monica and Tess sharing a brief sight. "I’d like to stay, but I must go home now. My daughter should be back from the ABA anytime soon and she will be starving!."
"Your daughter is a ballerina at the ABA, Mary Ann?," the little angel asked.
"Yes, why?."
"Because we have a friend there. Maybe he knows your daughter."
"Yes, it’s possible," the woman answered not actually paying much attention while she looked for her car keys on her bag. "I’ll see you tomorrow, Monica. It was nice to meet you, Tess."
"Nice to meet you too," the older angel answered and they saw her walking out of the hospital. "Andrew is not here yet?," she asked her charge when they were alone.
"No, but I think he’ll arrive in any minute," she said. "Look, here he comes."

"Ok," Tess said starting to walk. "Who wants to get a cup of hot chocolate with me?"
Andrew and Monica followed her obediently hand in hand. "Can I have a moka latte instead, Tess?," the Irish angel asked with the tone of an eight-year-old.
"You’re pushing your luck, Angel girl," the supervisor said knowing she had lost the battle of wills with the younger angel.
***
An hour later, the three angels were seated in a cabinet of a nice coffee shop, looking at the crowded street, three empty cups in front of them. Tess and Monica had been talking all the time, one telling the other about their first day with the nice couple of doctors they were working with. Richard Rosenberg was an oncologist and Tess talked about feeling comfortable helping people who face death everyday, not only as patients but also as doctors.
Monica and Andrew were seated together and he had wrapped an arm around her shoulders, his hand stroking distractedly her arm. The little angel was so excited about her own day at the hospital that she hadn’t noticed how awfully quiet the angel of death was. It was Tess, with her experienced eyes, who forced him to talk. "And what about you, Angel boy?" He turned to see her evidently surprised at being taken out of his thoughts. "How was your first day with the ballerinas?," she repeated.
"Fine, Tess, it was fine," he said unenthusiastically.
"Is there something wrong, Andrew?," Monica asked noticing the worry so evident in his eyes.
"No, nothing," but his tone said much more for two angels that knew him quite well.
"Of course, there’s something wrong, Angel boy," Tess stated. "You can’t fool us so easily."
"What is it, Andrew?," Monica asked, her dark eyes reflecting both love and worry.
He saw her pure interest and he decided he didn’t want to worry her with his suspicions. She had been so happy with her new assignment that he didn’t feel fair to spoil that joy of hers. He took her hand and kissed it. "It’s not that I don’t want to tell you. It’s just that I’m not absolutely sure about it yet."
"About what?," the older angel asked.
"Don’t mind me," he finally said after a moment of silence. He smiled and changed the tone of his voice. "What would you say if we go for a walk? It’s not too chilly out there." The blond angel held Monica again and met her still skeptical gaze. A moment later, he was standing at the side of the table, a hand outstretched towards the Irish angel. Monica turned to face Tess for a second and saw her supervisor slightly shaking her head, meaning she also didn’t have a clue about what was troubling Andrew.
Some minutes later, the trio was walking on the street watching the windows of the stores, each one thinking on something different.
Tess was trying to get a divine word about the blond angel’s assignment, but silence had been her only answer so far.
Andrew was asking himself how a man could tell a woman he loved her and then abused her the way William had done. His mind was still refusing to put the words "I love you" together with "You’re so stupid," as he thought he would never hurt someone he loved, like the Irish angel who was walking with him, the way William evidently used to hurt Natalia.
But maybe the most troubled mind of the three was Monica’s. Andrew had wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close as soon as they had left the coffee house, and she had wrapped her arm around his waist just as she always did, but something felt wrong. At that moment of the night, she was feeling tears threatening her eyes, and an awful sensation was growing in her heart. Why wasn’t he talking to her? Didn’t he trust her? Had she made something to get him mad? The Irish angel took a deep breath and then sighed heavily in an attempt to fight back her tears, and held her beloved friend tighter. Her heart plunged to her stomach when she didn’t feel him returning the gesture, and made a silent prayer for this being only a bad night.

I say love is a flower (original version) epilogue

2004-11-04T13:21:00.000-08:00

Epilogue

Richard and Mary Ann were the first to arrive to Natalia’s room after the nurse called them. The ballerina was waking up, her dark eyes open and scared as she couldn’t talk with the tube in her throat. "Wait, honey," her father told her, "I’ll take this out, ok?"
The three angels looked from the door while Richard took the machine away from her daughter. She coughed a little and her mother gave her some water. "I’m sorry, mom" the girl murmured with a hoarse voice. "I’m sorry, dad."
"We know everything, baby," Mary Ann said. "We’ll help you go through all this, but please, you have to accept the transplant..."
"I will," she said and looked at the door, where the three angels were waiting. "Two angels convinced me that I have to." Andrew, Monica and Tess smiled at hearing her.
"Angels?" Mary Ann asked surprised.
"Whoever they were, God bless them!" Richard said.
"Come on, babies," Tess told the younger angels. "Let’s leave them alone." They walked along the corridor and then the older angel suggested, "Andrew, don’t you think someone here deserves a big moka latte?"
The blond angel hold Monica closer to him. "Oh, yes, Tess, she really deserves it!"
****
The following days passed like a dream for Monica and Natalia, though they didn’t talk to each other. The ballerina had had to take a higher dose of chemotherapy so her bone marrow was destroyed, while Monica had to get a dialysis everyday to be ready for the mother cells collect. Andrew stayed by her side during all the procedures, carefully stroking her swollen little hand where she got the catheters.
And there was someone else waiting for the transplant day to come. The afternoon before, Mike knocked at the door of his classmate’s room, carefully using the gloves and the mouth cover the doctor instructed him to wear as Natalia’s immunity was low because of the chemotherapy.
"Mike" the girl greeted him. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to see you, and to wish you the best luck for tomorrow, from me and from everyone at the ABA."
She reached for his hand. "Thank you."
Mike took a seat over the bed and gently kissed her hand. "I’m so happy you’re doing this..."
Natalia looked at him questioningly. "What?"
"Taking the transplant..." The boy took a deep breath before continuing. "I want to have time."
"Time for what?"
"Time for showing you how much I care about you." Natalia opened her mouth in surprise but she couldn’t say a word. Mike smiled sheepishly. "I do, Natalia, I care a lot about you and I want to be able to show you how much. You don’t know what was for me to find you lying unconscious... I prayed so hard for you to live... And now I won’t miss the chance I’ve gotten." He took her hand to his lips again and then stroked gently her cheek. "You don’t have to do anything but allow me to show you, all right?"
A single tear crossed Natalia’s cheek though she was smiling. "Thank you, Mike," she murmured.
"You don’t have to thank me anything, baby. I’d do anything you want me to..."
They spent some more time talking and making plans for the future months. They both knew hard months lied ahead for her, but now she was not alone. Someone was there for her besides her parents, just as Monica had promised her, and the expectation of new sweet moments to live gave the ballerina an extra desire to get through the transplant and survive the leukemia. At the end, when Mike was about to say good bye, Natalia asked him a favor. "Mike, before you go, could you please call Andrew? I think he must be with his girlfriend."
"Natalia..." Mike felt somehow upset even if Andrew had always been kind with him.
"It’s nothing about that, I promise. I’d like to talk to Monica, but I know she can’t come. Please?"
****
Even if she was scared of needles, Monica hadn’t complained much about being pecked once and again. This time, it was time for her to have the IV attached for the marrow harvest the next day, so Andrew held her and buried her face in his chest while the nurse introduced the needle in her already sensitive left hand. "I promise this is the last one," the nurse apologized and smiled at Andrew in compassion when they both heard the muffled sob Monica released at feeling the needle getting into her vein.
The blond angel helped Monica to lay down again and kissed her forehead. "You’ve been brave, baby," he murmured and wiped away the tears that were running from her eyes. "And after tomorrow, I’m planning on pampering you for a long time."
"You will spoil me," she replied smiling.
He couldn’t help but smile and gave her a light kiss on the lips. "I don’t care, I have all the right." He was tucking her in bed when a light knock at the door made them turn, and Mike appeared on the room.
"I hope I’m not bothering you..."
"Oh, no, Mike, it’s ok. Come in," Andrew answered.
"I... I came to ask you a favor, Andrew," Mike said. "Natalia wants to see you before the operation."
Suddenly there was an uncomfortable silence between the three of them until Monica broke it. "Go, Andrew. I know this is hard for all of us, especially for you two, but you have to go. I’m ok."
The angel of death kissed her hand again. "You’re right, angel. I’ll go."
This time another soft knock alerted Natalia that someone was at her door. She smiled weakly when she saw Andrew coming. "Thanks for coming, Andrew," the ballerina started and offered him a seat with her free hand. "After all I’ve done, the first thing I want to do is to apologize."
"It’s not necessary..." Andrew began but she stopped him.
"It is. I gave you a really hard time and I know I have no excuse. And now, after all I made, Monica still will save my life... I don’t know what to say." Some tears had appeared in her eyes and were now crossing her cheeks. "Could you please forgive me one day?"
Andrew moved form the chair to her bed and swiped at her tears with his thumbs. "We don’t have anything to forgive, Natalia. You’re human and humans make mistakes... and so do angels sometimes." Hearing the giggle he was looking for, he cupped her face tenderly. "Monica and I are happy that you chose life instead of death."
"Will I see you again if I survive the transplant?" Her voice revealed a clear note of fear.
"I don’t know, but I think so. I can tell you God didn’t give you another chance to take it away so soon. You’ll have a new life tomorrow, Natalia, and you have to remember you’ve been especially blessed once and again, ok?" Natalia nodded weakly still crying. "God bless you, little one," the angel said kissing her forehead.
The girl grabbed him by the shirt and kissed him on the cheek. "Will you thank Monica for all this?"
"Of course I will," Andrew said smiling.
****
Normally afraid of darkness, Monica had never feared a sunrise more than this one. She was awaken since very early but tried not to disturb Andrew, who was sleeping more or less calmly seated on a chair and leaning over her bed. When he finally woke up, she had long ago forgotten about sleeping. The first hours of the morning passed in Andrew’s attempts to make her relax, but her hand clutched his tightly when Richard, Tess and two young men appeared at her door with a stretcher ready to carry her to the OR.
"Monica, I really want to thank you for this," Richard told her. Sensing her fear, he continued, "I know I don’t have a way to repay you for saving my daughter’s life and the only one thing I can do is to promise I’ll be especially careful with you. All the procedure is quite uncomfortable, to say the least, but I’ll do everything with even more care so the discomfort will be minimal, ok?"
"Will you be there, Tess?" Monica asked with the tone of a little girl.
"Of course, baby, I’ll assist Dr. Harris."
"And you’ll be back in less than you expect, sweetheart," Andrew said kissing her lightly on the lips.
"Ok." Monica let them take her to the OR and saw how another doctor adding a medicine to her IV. She was aware they were counting the time, but soon everything was black for her and she lost conscience of anything around...
The next thing she’d remember was that she was standing in the middle of a forest where trees had yellow and red leaves and there was a slightly cold breeze. "A special present from the Father," whispered on her ear a male voice that he recognize at once. "We have about one hour while they harvest the bone marrow."
Andrew took her hand and leaded her to a spot she recognized at once as the place where Tess had found them and had told them about the assignment. They took a seat on the ground; he leaned against the trunk and she cuddled in his lap. "I hope you don’t mind I chose the book again," he told her showing her The Sonnets by William Shakespeare. "There’s one I picked up for you..."
"Why is my verse so barren of new pride?
So far from variation or quick change?
Why, with the time, do I not glance aside
To new-found methods and to compounds strange?
Why write I still all one, ever the same,
And keep invention in a noted weed,
That every word doth almost tell my name,
Showing their birth, and where they did proceed?
O know, sweet love, I always write of you,
And you and love are still my argument;
So all my best is dressing old words new,
Spending again what is already spent;
For as the sun is daily new and old,
So is my love still telling what is told.
When they realized time was out and Andrew knew they had to go back. "I promise you’ll see me when you wake up," he told her kissing her lovingly.
And so it was. When Monica opened her eyes, the first thing she saw were Andrew’s green eyes full with the love she always found there. "Hello, sleeping beauty," he greeted her.
"Hey," she murmured still half asleep.
"You have visitors," Andrew told her, and Adam and Tess came closer to her bed.
"Hello, beautiful," the other angel of death told her.
"Hello, baby," the supervisor said. "I’m so proud of you!"
"How did everything go?" the little angel asked fighting not to fall asleep again.
"Perfectly well, baby," Tess answered. "They got the bone marrow and the mother cells. Natalia will get them today and tomorrow."
"Great... OUCH!" she couldn’t help but shout when she tried to move and her hip grazed the mattress.
"Don’t move, baby!" Andrew was quick to soothe her and to wipe away the tear that came unbidden to her eye.
"Andrew is right, angel girl. You have eight punctures in each hip. I’m afraid that will hurt for a little while..."
Monica sighed deeply to stop complaining.
"The Father knew why it was you the donor," Adam said reading in her gesture. "Any other angel wouldn’t be so brave. This is only one proof of your strength, Monica, the strength we three admire on you..."
Monica blushed slightly. "I don’t feel too strong right now to be honest," she chuckled weakly.
"Why don’t you try to sleep, baby?" Tess suggested. "The anesthesia must be still hitting on you."
"Ok... Will you be here?" she asked drifting off to sleep.
"I won’t go anywhere," Andrew replied stroking her cheek delicately and squeezing her hand.
****
Mary Ann heard the sound of steps coming closer and she smiled when she turned and saw the three angels walking towards her. She had been standing on the corridor, watching through the window at the room where her daughter was getting the mother cells.
Monica was limping slightly and Andrew had his arm around her waist to help her. "Oh, Monica, how are you?" she asked to her ex assistant.
"I’ve just been released," the little angel answered. "How’s Natalia doing?"
"She’s doing great! If there isn’t any complication, she may leave in four weeks..."
"I see..."
"I guess you’re going home to rest?" the doctor asked.
Andrew and Monica chuckled before answering. "Most definitely!" she replied.
"I want you to pamper her a lot, Andrew," Mary Ann said taking Monica’s hands. "She deserves that and much more!"
"I will, ma’am!" the angel of death assured her.
"Good morning," Mike interrupted them at the moment.
"Hello, Mike," Mary Ann said. "You came to see Natalia?"
"Yes," the boy said blushing slightly thought the big bouquet of white roses he was carrying spoke for itself. "I know she can’t have those with her, but at least she can know I brought them..."
"That’s very sweet from you!" the woman said. "I’m meeting Richard in a minute to know what’s new. You want to come with me?"
"Of course!"
"Ok, then, let’s go. Bye Monica, Andrew, Tess..." Mary Ann said hugging each of them.
They hugged her and shook hands with Mike too. When the blond angel shook hands with his ex student, he leaned down. "Next time, bring them red," he said referring to the roses, and blinked an eye in complicity.
Mary Ann and he saw the angels starting to walk away and they turned to go to Richard’s office. Suddenly, Mary Ann remembered she hadn’t said thank you again... but when she turned around, the angels were nowhere in sight...

THE END
BTW, I didn’t say this before: I took the short tale at the beginning from Ernest Hemingway’s First forty-nine short stories and the sonnet from William Shakespeare’s Sonnets. The songs are The Rose by Beth Middler for the one of the title, and for the ones at the party, The lady in red by Chris De Burgh and Strangers in the night by Mel Torme.

I say love is a flower (original version) chap. 10 - 11

2004-11-04T13:18:00.000-08:00